NO WAY, EMEMDEE-EY!

It certainly makes private citizens like me suspicious, knowing that no less than MMDA Chairman Bayani 'BF' Fernando is the alleged owner of BF Steel Corporation, as mentioned by 'The Game' on the comment section of a previous similar post right here, and then at the same time embarks on an aggressive "ironization" of Metro Manila - constructing pink and blue footbridges here, pink and blue footbridges there, pink fences here, pink fences there - and those ghastly looking male urinals that even 'askals' would not dare use to do their thing, not to mention those Toblerone-like killer concrete barriers which, to this day all remain unlit and have maimed and killed a number of motorists under the watch of a presidentiable wannabe who believes so much in himself thinking that Marikina is Metro-Manila, and Metro-Manila is the Philippines. I smell some kind of a conflict of interest here somehow. Does the MMDA bid out its "ironization projects," or are they automatically awarded to the BF Steel Corporation? Can the MMDA please be transparent on this thing since it involves no less than hard-earned taxpayers' money? By the way, while those steel footbridges may be good to many pedestrians concerning their safety, it ain't so totally safe since they're so slippery and dangerous to its users during and after the rains because of its flat and smooth surface, and most especially to the elderly and the infirm. It's hard to believe that a guy like BF, who thinks of the beautification (many call it 'uglification') of Metro-Manila would not prioritize safety, and it sure is not on top of his list. He would prioritize his posters all over the thoroughfares like EDSA, BAYANI stickers on buses and "guwapito-guwapo ads" on LRT trains, but never on safety. Unlit concrete barriers, slippery steel footbridges, askal-unfriendly male urinals, arrogant kotong MMDA blue boys, idiotic slogans and silly color combinations that even Liberace, German Moreno or Mike Velarde would not approve. That's today's MMDA for you. So, is the Philippines ready for a Bayani Fernando presidency? And what, a pink Malacanang Palace? No way, Ememdee-ey!

(Image from http://wikimedia.org/)

IT'S PAYBACK TIME ONCE AGAIN (PART 2)

So, it's payback time once again for some (and soon for all) of the losing Team Unity bets. Paid recently were former Senator and lifetime comedian Tito Sotto to the Dangerous Drugs Board (DDB); former Senator Ralph Recto (aka Mr. Santos) to the National Economic Development Authority (NEDA); former Presidential Chief of Staff and Congressman Mike Defensor, who recently bagged the Nickel in Beijing at the same time that the rest of the international athletes were dying for the Gold - Mike settles so happily for the Nickel with no less than President Gloria Arroyo in attendance to witness the contract signing; former printing machine salesman and Congressman Prospero 'Butch' Pichay (itanim sa senado, o ibaon sa lupa?) to the Local Water Utilities Administration (LWUA); and quite recently, former Ilocos Sur Governor/whistle-blower/Erap nemesis/Pacquiao patron - Luis 'Chavit' Singson as Deputy National Security Adviser (DNSA). Methinks Sotto should just continue recording 'Laff Hits' with brother Vic and celebrity comedian Joey de Leon, while Recto should redeem himself from the nomenclature "Ang Rectong 'Di Claro," while Defensor should explain how a losing company like GeoGrace can bag a multi-million dollar Nickel project from China. As for Pichay, shouldn't he just return to selling printing machines? After all, elections are just around the corner, and he sure could corner a lot of sales both from government and private businesses. And last but not least, Singson - well, he does have many friends and connections both in the intelligence community and in the unintelligent community. Unlike the rest who are more of a liability to GMA than an asset, Singson might just deliver the goods to the government, so to speak. He is a deep-rooted politician and well-connected, contrary to his superior NSA Norberto Gonzales, whose only known connection is with the executives who signed with him the forgotten Venable Contract with government. More rewards are coming soon. Forget the Civil Service Commission. Forget the career executives in government. When Gloria pays back a political debt, she certainly overpays!

(Image from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/ & http://www.boholchronicle.com/)

GMA'S NATIONWIDE PROGRAMS

The Social Weather Stations (SWS) and Pulse Asia recently conducted a survey on GMA. It was discovered that Pinoys are generally happy and satisfied with GMA's nationwide programs. When asked what program they like and approve the most, majority of respondents replied: 'DYESEBEL.'

(Image from http://cdn4.wn.com/)

ANO BA 'YAN KABAYAN!

Unknown to many, surveys top-ranker Vice-President Noli de Castro is a compleat author of books, and many think he is ripe for the presidency. He recently published a science book for our high school students entitled, "Toxic Gases From Your Anus" ( he should have spelled it 'Uranus'). So, does he get your vote in 2010? I thought so. P.S. This is only a joke.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

PGMA STAMPS RECALLED!

The Philippine Postal Authority (PhilPost) recently ordered the recall of all newly-circulated President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo/Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran stamps. Why? Postal employees discovered that a majority of Pinoys who buy them were putting their SPIT on the wrong side of the stamps!

(Image from http://farm4.static.flickr.com/)

CHAMP WITH CHIZ

Since Manny Pacquiao's ultimate dream is to be in politics and an elected official (thank God he wasn't appointed DENR Usec by Litong-Lito Atienza), and since Senator Francis Escudero is a mighty contender for the vice-presidency, may I then suggest this early for fastfood giant Jollibee Foods Corporation (JFC) to sign up a contract with them for a Pacquiao/Escudero - President/Vice-President tandem for 2010 - and with that, may I further suggest that Jollibee adopt the campaign slogan: "I LIKE CHAMP WITH CHIZ FOR 2010!"

(Image from http://www.philgift.com/)

LAWBREAKERS IN DISGUISE AS LAWMAKERS

1. If PRO is the opposite of CON, what then is the opposite of PROgress?

2. Q: What is the difference between the Durian fruit in season and the Batasan Pambansa in session?

A: The PRICKS of the Durian fruit are outside.

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

GLORIA'S CONVERSATION WITH GOD

Gloria Arroyo dies and goes to Heaven. (really??) There, she receives a tremendous ovation. Millions of angels sing and praise her. She is given a crown and put on a great throne. Looking around, she is surprised to notice that her crown and throne are bigger than God's. Even she is unprepared for this. "How come?" she asks God. "You are greater than I," says God respectfully. "I gave the Filipino people one day of fasting a week. You gave them seven. I gave them hope, but you took it away!"

(Image from http://www.wisehearts2.com/)

CHRISTIAN NATION, CORRUPT NATION, PRESENT ADMINISTRATION = DAMNATION

While looking at some old clippings of past columns of my father, I found this piece of comment he had written in 2000 which has something to do with our boastful claim that we are "the only Christian nation in Asia." If that were so, how is it that we are also the most if not one of the most corrupt in the region? I think it has also something to do with the reality that we are surrounded by too much religion and yet too little respect for each other.

"Philippine authorities may also seriously consider warnings that it is not wise to be smug in the thought that the Philippines is the only Christian country in Asia and could expect full and unconditional support from western Christian nations. These officials have been told to look at the situation as one where the Philippines is a Christian island in an Islamic and Buddhist sea." - Ariel Bocobo, 'Like It Is,' Manila Standard May 31, 2000

(Image from http://www.bahaykuboresearch.net/)

FROM ARGENTINA'S EVITA TO THE PHILIPPINES' EVITAY

The Philippine Center for Theatre and the Performing Arts (PCTPA) will soon be opening its studios for auditions for their planned musical which will feature the political life and times of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. The musical, which promises to be a hit and an overnight success will be appropriately entitled, "EVITAY!"

(Images from http://www.argentour.com/ & http://www.nndb.com/)

A LISTENING PRESIDENT - WHO'S DEAF

Lying is a cottage industry these days in Malacanang. Newly-appointed Press Secretary Jess Dureza told radio listeners recently that President Arroyo is "a listening president." Really now. Is she "a listening president" when she keeps ignoring the nation's call for her to step down? Is she "a listening president" when she keeps re-appointing public officials who do not pass or who are by-passed by the Commission on Appointments (CA)? Is she "a listening president" when she keeps travelling with an expensive and a large entourage including nannies of her grandchildren? Is she "a listening president" each time she re-appoints a retired general to a sensitive top government position? Is the word "retired" so difficult for her to understand? Is she "a listening president" each time she ignores public clamor for the firing of GSIS' Winston Garcia? Is she "a listening president" each time her numerous attempts at Charter Change is rejected by the Filipino people? We are reminded of former Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir Mohammad when he said it so clear, "When you have a leader who is totally insensitive and refuses to accept realities, then you have a problem." Just for once, can she now be "a listening president" for us all and serve another term not in office - but in jail?

(Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/)

BF CONSULTS MADAME AURING

Bayani Fernando is known to frequent astrologers, soothsayers and others of that ilk. One day, he visits Madame Auring and asks her, "What day will I die?" After carefully looking at BF's charts, she declares, "You will die on Metro-Vendors' Holiday." Much perturbed, BF demands, "Which one?" "I don't know," replies the multi face-lifted madame. BF becomes very angry, "You must know!" he shouts, "I insist upon the truth!" "I don't know," persists Madame Auring, "because any day you die will be a Metro-Vendors' Holiday!"

(Images from http://www.pep.ph/ & http://www.mukamo.com/)

BLACK-BELTER BLACK DWARF

While she was in China for the opening ceremonies of the recently concluded 2008 Beijing Olympics, President Gloria Arroyo had a chance meeting with celebrity Hong Kong film director John Woo. Mr. Woo was so impressed with the athletic fanaticism and natural acting prowess of President Arroyo that he offered her on the spot to star in his next cartoon film entitled, KUNG-FU PANDAK.

(Image from http://www.superstock.com/)

THREE UNWELCOME GUESTS IN THE PALACE

It takes a thief ... to spot another one. Amazing how one can still manage to pass thru hi-tech security cameras and state-of-the-art motion detectors, not to mention the malnourished Belgian Malinois K9s and the robotic PSGs around Malacanang Palace. On one such quiet night, a thief managed to break into the palace kitchen, thereupon bumping unexpectedly into the first couple who were having a late night cup of coffee each and some left-over buko pie. Simultaneously, as the partners-in-crime froze surprised, the thief upon seeing them eyeball-to-eyeball, panicked and ran away screaming, "MAGNANAKAW!! MAGNANAKAAW!!!"

(Image from http://hulu.com/)

REMEMBERING MR. UNITED NATIONS

When the design for the UN flag was subject for approval by its member-nations, General Carlos P. Romulo (head of the UN General Assembly and the UN Security Council) pointed out a grand objection. The Philippines had been scratched out from the map of the world on the proposed flag. The artist explained that the omission was unavoidable, for he said it was no longer possible to include the Philippines on a world map bearing the size of a tablecloth. But the tiny man with a huge stature refused to listen at all to any and all excuses. Raising to his full height, the diminutive Tarlaqueno demanded: "I don't care how you do it, just put my country on that flag!"
Today, we have a different mutant-breed of generals (General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. and General Rodolfo Garcia) who would rather see our country in halves, possibly split into North Philippines and South Philippines. Thanks to their utter lack for love of country and absolute plenty for love of self interests, the present fighting taking place in Mindanao is due to their insistence on the Memorandum of Agreement (MoA) between the GRP panel and the MILF chieftains. At times like these, how we wish we had the likes of General Romulo who loved his country with passion and determination to keep it united under one flag. Thank you General Romulo!

(Image form http://www.medaloffreedom.com/)

A BROWN PASIG AND A POLYNESIAN SHIRT

I think we ought to already have a separate and independent Department of Conservation or an Environmental Protection Agency just like the powerful EPA in the US, whose main task is to identify and punish the enemies of the environment and polluters like the factories by the Pasig, unlike the present DENR whose chief executive does a better job posing as a leech right next to a boxing champ, and a participant in the "abduction" of a whistle-blower at the airport. Thanks to the so-called "environment watchdogs," we now have a Brown Pasig as Europe has its Blue Danube and China its Yellow River.

(Image from http://www.daylife.com/)

'TROJAN' - THE OFFICIAL SEAL

At the rate this present administration bungles on every issue it puts its hands on, the official seal of Malacanang today should be just a simple condom. Why? Because a condom allows inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects and covers-up for a bunch of pricks in government and in business, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed!

(Image from http://cpyu.org/)

IMELDA THE BEAUTIFUL / GLORIA THE VILE

Packaging is everything. When Gloria's apologists keep boasting of their master's achievements as a top-gun economist, and yet our economy is in the doldrums, that's wrong management of our investments. There's really only so much that the world economy can do to inflict damage in our country, for as it is we are on our own at the end of the day, and we can really do better even without those MOUs and MOAs. When Lorelei Fajardo, Anthony Golez, Jess Dureza and Ed Ermita and even my favorite flunkie Cerge Remonde keep saying that their master isn't bothered at all with her dismal acceptance ratings, and yet with Gloria's 24/7 tongue-lashing at them, they go on working late hours in the Palace to spin a weave of a miracle to improve her image, and then we see all over huge posters saying "Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran," and yet we have become a society of instant noodles with the high prices of food and commodities, they sure have packaged her in a very poor way, for the truth is "Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran" is really "Ramdam Ang Kahirapan." Take the case of former First Lady Imelda Marcos. In her campaign for the presidency of the country years ago, she tried appealing to the poor. At a rally in Manila, she told several thousand impoverished followers, "I am a squatter like you too." Then she climbed into her air-conditioned stretch Mercedes-Benz and returned to her $2,000 a day hotel suite. Now, that's another bad way to package a candidate, isn't it? And guess what? The approach didn't work. So, Mrs. Marcos' next tactic was to claim that the foundation of President Marcos' wealth was simply good fortune - he stumbled upon a vast horde of gold hidden by Japanese soldiers when they occupied the Philippines in World War 2. The First Lady added further that President Marcos had generously sold much of the gold to help the Philippines through difficult economic times in the 60s and 70s. Well, subsequent Philippine regimes didn't do any bit better. In fact, it is at its worst today! Previous administrations countered that the Marcoses accumulated their fortune through embezzlement and kickbacks, which in comparison with today's crooks in Malacananang, is mere loose-change. So, whether it be a MOU in China or a MOA in Malaysia, it all boils down to one thing - the people are the losers again.

(Image from http://amazon.com/)

GLORIA DISQUALIFIED IN CONTEST

Beijing authorities were voting on "the most corrupt head of state in attendance" in the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Just when President Arroyo was to win the contest hands down, one Chinese old guard moved to disqualify GMA. The reason? The contest was open only for amateur crooks and not for professionals.

(Image from http://pcij.org/)

ESPERON'S SLIP OF THE (FORKED) TONGUE

General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. had a slip of the tongue (his own forked tongue) this morning over at VP Noli de Castro's teleradyo show 'Para Sa'Yo Bayan' on DZMM when he said "if the constitution has to be changed for the MOA, so be it." So, the truth shall always come out. Now it can be told that the long-term reason for all these is their lustful desire for Charter Change - and to perpetuate President Gloria Arroyo to presidential power beyond 2010. Need we say more? On that note, the ARMM elections shall be taking place on Monday, August 11, and to this day, Virgilio Garcillano and Lintang Bedol are still at large and have yet to pay for the evils they have planted in Mindanao, having made dagdag-bawas a way of life there during election season.

(Image from http://www.filipino-music.com/)

MIKE DEFENSOR BAGS THE NICKEL IN BEIJING!

Congats sa ating mga athletes (foot) Gloria Arroyo and Mike Defensor! 'Di pa man tayo makakuha ng Gold sa Beijing Olympics, nasungkit naman nila ang NICKEL sa pamamagitan ng isang Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) between Manila and Beijing for a Nickel mining contract. GMA flew to Beijing the other day to witness the signing of this MOU, and of course to watch the Olympics. Maging mala ZTE na naman kaya ito? With Gloria and Mike Defensor involved, something fishy sure is in the offing again.

(Image from http://pcij.org/)

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SHAME ON YOU GENERAL ESPERON!

The only word I can think of to describe General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. is the word "Traitor." I knew it long before he was to be appointed as Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process - after his term as AFP Chief of Staff, that he would return to betray his country again. Again because he had betrayed already the AFP in the past with his political maneuverings, earning for himself the label 'Worst AFP Chief of Staff the Philippines ever had.' And so now, without proper consultation with the people of Mindanao, he eagerly pushes for the signing of a Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain(MOA-AD) between the Philippine Government and the MILF. When the Supreme Court issued a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) recently halting its inking between the two parties, the only concern Esperon had in mind was the embarrassment he would be feeling with his MILF and Malaysian counterparts led by Mohagher Iqbal, Rais Yatim and Datuk Othman bin Abdulrazak respectively, but he shows not even an iota of shame on the other hand to the Filipino people for a rotten deal such as this stepping-stone for Charter Change (to perpetuate GMA to power beyond 2010) in disguise as a MOA-AD. In an interview this morning over radio, North Cotabato Vice-Governor Manny Pinol said that Gen. Esperon had threatened him saying that "the AFP (soldiers) will not sacrifice their lives again if and when the MILF attacks your province." In effect, what Esperon was saying is that the AFP will not lift a finger when the MILF creates havoc in the area. With this MOA-AD, it will almost be certain that the Philippines will now be divided simply into the North Philippines and the South Philippines - South being Bangsamorostan, or better yet Bangsarroyostan. What would now prevent the MILF from setting up checkpoints all over the independent state and declare "no-fly zones" to prevent PAF helicopters and planes from flying above them? And by the way, what the heck is Indanan Mayor Alvarez Isnaji doing with the rest of the conspiracy led by General Jun Esperon, General Rudy Garcia and Secretary Jess Dureza? Shouldn't Isnaji be somehere else like a place called jail? This is what we get for appointing retired military officers to sensitive positions like "Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process." Jun Esperon is not a man of peace. He is a man of war, and war shall he have in his thick face in Mindanao when its civilian citizens start arming themselves to protect themselves, not to mention the ire we will be getting from the MNLF for this traitorousness.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

OF SUBSIDIES AND SPIN-DOCTORS

While this administration gives away P500 subsidies to the poor, it also gives away P500 thousand "subsidies" to mayors and governors, P50 million to congressmen, and $500 million to Northrail. To top it all, guess to which family a P5 billion "subsidy" was alloted to? On that note, President Arroyo is now so far the only president who is disliked and distrusted by a huge majority of the country's population. Is it a surprise why? Malacanang keeps blaming everyone else for this except themselves and its illegal occupant. They keep saying that the president isn't concerned at all with her dismal acceptance and trust ratings, and yet her spin-doctors, on her nagging orders work overtime each day trying their best at damage control. In a sense, it's like performing a heart by-pass to a patient who already died of a massive cardiac arrest weeks ago.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

TUASON-ARROYO AND SHELL PHILIPPINES INC.

With the almost daily increase in fuel prices in our country, I wonder what President Gloria Arroyo's spin-quack-doctors Lorelei Fajardo and Anthony Golez (and now Jess Dureza) think of the fact that the Tuason-Arroyo family are major stockholders of Shell Philippines Inc. I guess that would also include FG Mike Arroyo's counsel Atty. Ruy Rondain - what do they think of this? Is it at all a conflict of interest or what?

(Image from http://www.yokogawa.com/)

WHY HER RATING KEEPS DROPPING

Is it still a surprise to Malacanang why again President Gloria Arroyo's popularity and acceptance rating has now dropped further to an all-time low? Some of the reasons are as follows:

1. GMA flies to the US with a colossal entourage of 57 (un-named) congressmen, 1 senator, 10 cabinet members, and a hundred plus more government officials and security personnel, including the Macapagal-Arroyo family costing P75 million of taxpayers' money.

2. She continues to reward Romulo Neri - with a new appointment as President and CEO of SSS.

3. Instead of proceeding to typhoon-damaged provinces like Iloilo, Romblon and Aklan, she goes instead to Baler, Digos, Aurora and Davao del Sur for political meetings.

4. She refuses to give in to public clamor for the scrapping of the VAT on food and oil.

5. With millions of Filipinos suffering and dying of hunger, she attends an affair at the World Trade Center (WTC) flaunting $20,000 worth of pearl earrings and a necklace with a matching $3,000 dress.

6. The NFA continues to import rice at a very high price - 600,000 metric tons of rice was bought at $940 per metric ton when the going price is $790 per metric ton.

7. She and her family members and her cabinet men continue to use gas-guzzling 8-cylinder Expeditions, Escalades and Mercedes-Benzes (she uses a 12-cylinder Mercedes) and luxury SUVs tailed by the usual convoy of equally gas-guzzling back-up vehicles.

8. When Typhoon Frank hit the country, instead of cutting short her US trip, and after meeting with President George Bush on day 3 of her visit, she continued to make less important trips rather than coming back home immediately to be with the people.

9. She continues to utilize spokespersons and apologists who say nothing on TV but lies, lies and more lies.

10. To this day, she still refuses to address the illegitimacy issue hounding her presidency.

(Image from http://www.ctv.ca)

CHEAP SEATS BUT THEY DON'T EXIST

Philippine Air Lines, Cebu Pacific, Asian Spirit and Air Philippines have been fooling for some time now the public each time they advertise cheap fares. It really is nothing but a big joke and a dirty scheme to mislead us. When you call, they ALWAYS tell you that the cheap seats are all sold out, which then the person on the other end of the line starts to offer you higher fares. The Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) should immediately stop this advertising scam, unless of course many of those cheaper seats are reserved for the big shots in government?

(Image from http://mindanao.com/)

FIFTY CENTAVOS PER TEXT MY FOOT!

President Gloria Arroyo dies, and as expected, goes straight to hell. There, she asks Satan if she could borrow his cellphone to send text messages to the 'first family,' anyway, thanks to her effort daw, fifty centavos na lang per text. Satan replies: "Ay anak, pag demon to demons and vice-versa, libre ang text!

(Image from http://www.chinadaily.com/)

THE STRENGTH OF A TRUE LEADER

Gloria Arroyo's apologists like Eduardo Ermita, Lorelei Fajardo and Anthony Golez keep on saying that their boss would "rather be right than popular." Fine. But even right, from the eyes of the citizenry she ain't. As confirmed from recent survey results on how the Filipino people view her as "their president," it speaks well from where her strength (or weakness) arises. Perhaps, it is as she wants it to be, not as the people feel her to be. To me, the strength of a true leader lies in a relationship: that is defined as the political bond between the leader and the led. The strength of a true leader lies in an investment of goodwill and compassion for the people. The strength of a true leader mirrors the social and moral conditions of the masses. The strength of a true leader comes from the dynamics of the working class and the peasants participating in the struggle of building a nation together. The strength of a true leader is in the collective identity of the citizens expressed by the eloquence of the heart and not the fine choice of words - as in the speech Gloria Arroyo delivered in yesterday's SONA. The strength of a true leader lies not in turning "the misfortunes of the masses into a joyous pageant." We witnessed the state of the nation from a leader who speaks of her strength alongside that of our country, but the programs of her pseudo-reign must have the countenance of a human face, else they cannot stand alone as the sole objects of our national destiny, nor of our shared strength. The strength of a true leader is in telling to the whole nation the true state of it. Yesterday's SONA was fiction with a touch of tragedy whose main characters are Gloria Arroyo and her cabal of self-serving lawbreakers in disguise as lawmakers in the House.

(Image form http://daylife.com/)

BOY NOGRALES' OVERPRICED KUBETAS AT THE BATASAN / CERGE REMONDE'S ELONGATED ILONG

Presidential Management Staff (PMS) head Secretary Cerge Remonde lied on national TV before the Filipino people when he said that President Gloria Arroyo will not be "making bola" on her 8th State Of The Nation Address (SONA). Indeed, nakakahawa na talaga ang pagsisinungaling sa Malacanang. On the other hand, Speaker Boy Nograles defended the beautification project of the Batasan Pambansa which cost taxpayers' money some PhP90 million. That much just to please one power-grabbing president? If it costs PhP700 thousand to refurbish each toilet in the Batasan, can you imagine how many toilets that amount could build for our public schools around the country, whose ratio is one toilet for every two thousand pupils? No wonder the PNP surrounded the Batasan today for GMA's SONA, that's because a majority of the criminals in our country were inside Congress today with their expensive jewellery and barongs. What twisted characters these people are. We really are a bunch of show-offs, and when it comes to pagalingan and pahabaan, 'di tayo patatalo. Imagine, we make a big deal of priding ourselves of having the longest puto bumbong, the longest Banana Q, the largest bibingka and the biggest boodle fight. How about the longest list of Pinoy congressmen and women with US green cards, or the longest list of lies by a sitting president?

(Image from http://www.elitechoice.org/)

INCH BY INCH, FIB BY FIB

The trouble with women like Gloria is: you give them an INCH, and they think they're the RULER.

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

SONA - SAME OLD NOTHING AGAIN

Gloria's State Of The Nation Address (SONA) is a ritual that coincides with the opening of Congress. A lot of preparation has gone to the speech (thanks to AIM Professor Gary B. Olivar), not to mention the collateral fuss that the whole government structure underwent for the occasion - overspending taxpayer's money for the Batasan and its surroundings (thanks to Speaker Boy Nograles), securing the place and the roads that lead there, printing invitations and programs, installing a new set of microphones, tapes, CDs, flags, lights, plants, drinks, finger food, light dinner at the lounge, haute couture for the lady (and the not so lady) representatives, signature suits for the men (and the not so men) representatives, and a host of other details and expenses for a one-hour, lie-filled speech. Only those with invitations are allowed entrance to the hall and galleries. The rest of the nation for whom the address is being made are expected to watch the televised broadcast in their homes or offices, or wherever they may be at the time of delivery and are advised to take two (2) tablets of antacid before listening to Gloria's Sonatas de Kasinungalingan, or they may watch the replay before retiring to bed at night. Last year, the SWS gave GMA a negative rating in the urban centers, but a slightly higher average rating in the provinces although still in the negative too. Why is this so? Has she not worked hard enough to make the citizenry feel that her super-projects are already part of the legacy she has spoken of? A bankrupt legacy perhaps. Are not these super- projects for the super- regions super enough to have the people feel superiorly taken care of? There are lessons in history one reads about regarding the leader who does not encourage the people to be part of whatever the government is doing with them. Participation, initiative (not inis sa thief) and responsibility - these are the key elements if one is to spur the people to development. Everything the president has talked about lies (lies!) in the balance between the forward motion of her projects and the participation, initiative and responsibility coming from the mass base. If these are not elicited from the people, the recited list of infrastructure would remain simply as cold as steel, iron and cement, while the individual citizen remains equally as cold and detached. If such a relationship between the leader and the people has not been established, or has been falsified, all these super-projects would self-extinguish in the consciousness of the masses. If she is not able to "awaken the imagination of her audience," hence the oratorical delivery of the SONA would be for naught. And I expect it to be just that on Monday's SONA.

(Image from http://www.abante.com.ph/)

MORE NURSES - BUT WHERE TO?

Last year, some 60,000 nurses graduated from various nursing schools all over the country. Recently, that number probably rose even higher with more new nurses again as the US is now experiencing an over-supply of nurses, and so, where do they go to find employment? They go to spas, call centers and banks while awaiting their much-needed employment overseas - US, UK and Canada in particular. And what is government doing about this? Nothing. Just like our OFWs, our nurses boost the economy via their remittances to their families here - at the same time our beloved government officials and top military officers salt dollars outside the country.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

BOXUS ET LEXUS

My unimpeachable source tells me that boxing great Manny Pacquiao purchased last year the Lexus club along Timog avenue in Quezon City to the tune of PhP35 million. Having done this away from the usual publicity and fanfare, I wonder what giant NIKE (International) thinks about this - with Manny having signed a US$20 million product endorsement contract with them, on condition that he behaves like a good little innocent altar boy, staying away from cigarets, alcohol and gambling such as sabong and casinos, and of course from prostitution joints posing as entertainment theatres and health clubs - like Lexus, and for a guy who shows care for our environment, he surely will be taking good care of the wildlife in Quezon City. I wonder, will former Bayanihan dancer Lito Atienza be doing a macho dance number when the night club reopens under its new management?

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

RP BIGGEST RICE IMPORTER

Isn't it ironic that we are now the biggest importer of rice, and yet the center for 'riceology' - the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI), is right here in our country? Now what could have gone wrong here?

(Image from http://www.ufz.de/)

METRO GAGO / TAO GINAGO

Is our favorite public servant Fernandong 'Di Bayani pulling a fast one on us, with his sights trained at 2010? I ask this question because just as we woke up one day staring at his despicable pictures on posters all over EDSA, there seems to be another sneaky attempt at name recall of him on buses plying the avenue. Notice how many of these buses sport an elongated poster on its dashboard by the driver's side just behind the windshield with the name 'BAYANI,' and with a matching Philippine flag on the left side. Are those his posters? If they are, then what a shame. How about the posters inside the LRT-3 coaches that says, "Metro Gwapito in 2008 - Metro Gwapo in 2010" Bayani is really trying every trick in his filthy book to remind citizens and commuters that he wants to be president in 2010. So, what better way than to take advantage of the public transport system to support him. If Mr. Fernando can't play fair from where he is today, how much (or less) fair play do you think he would inject just to perpetuate him to power if and when he becomes president? Can you even imagine him painting every building pink, Malacanang Palace included? For a guy whose ego is bigger than his brains, he's better off serving as a Marikina kagawad. This guy doesn't get my vote. Tear down those posters and those elongated BAYANI posters on those buses. Shame on Bayani Fernando!

(Image from http://bambit.kusangpalo.com/)

KA-SONA-NGALINGAN NA NAMAN!

So, it's that time of year again when lies shall be forced into our ears by no less than a lying president. On Monday, July 28, Gloria Arroyo's State Of The Nation Address (SONA) in the Batasan Pambansa will focus on her favorite reminder to us all - "Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran." Really?? Where? How? Ask anyone on the street (any street) about this and you'll surely get a similar reply - "Ramdam Ang Kahirapan!" Hence, I made up a few meanings of SONA.

1. Same Old News Again
2. Save Our Nation (from) Arroyo
3. (She) Screws Our Nation Always
4. Send OFWs No Assistance
5. Seven Out (of) Nine (despise) Arroyo
6. Stamp Out Now Arroyo
7. Sulpicio Owners' No Action
8. Show-Off, Numb, Arrogant
9. Same Old Nothing Again
10. Shame On (this) Nation's Administration
11. Same Old Nincompoops (in her) Administration
12. Sense Of Neuralgia After
13. Same Old Nematode (this) Arroyo
14. Same Old Nitwits (in her) Administration

Our Ship of State is the only ship in the world that leaks from the top. That's the real SONA.

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

GMDSS (GIVE ME DEATH, SULPICIO SINKS)

The Philippine government once upon a time purchased a GMDSS (Global Maritime Distress and Safety System) to the tune of P700 (plus) million pesos. To this day, that same equipment is still in a container rotting somewhere (since 1999), and according to Lt. Sr. Grade Armand Balilo, Philippine Coast Guard (PCG) spokesman, that GMDSS is already outmoded and obsolete and hinted that it may not match and be compatible to the other equipment in many of the ships sailing our seas today. Who is the contractor responsible for this? I believe this equipment was purchased during DOTC's former Secretary Josie Lichauco's term, and who seems to know a lot on the history of the procurement of this equipment. Why wasn't it put to good use? Simply put, we need this equipment badly since it is an international system using advanced communications technology, and its main purpose is to enhance ship-to-shore communications by providing a rapid and automated distress alerting system with positional information. In short, it's the eyes and ears for all ships that set out to sea. In the case of the PCG and Sulpicio Lines, they relied too heavy on texting provided for by Globe and Smart. Now, that wasn't too smart for them at all. What if the ship's captain 'ran out of load?' It's time our congressmen help our Philippine Coast Guard by first improving on their alloted budget for modernization. Otherwise, any ship that leaves our piers is basically on its own, and that's one position none of them would like to be - unless of course you're Sulpicio Lines who seems to like getting its ships in trouble when they're out at sea. They either bump, burn or sink.

(Image from http://www.icselectronics.net/)

SENADORA GODZILLA

I'm not a bit surprised why Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago is angry at her colleagues namely Senator Ping Lacson, who I wish would promote a semi-sanitary napkin for cross-dressers, Senator Richard "Little Dick" Gordon for a penile enlargement pill, and for Senator Loren Legarda who as we all know has planted more billboards than trees around the metropolis, as the three have been moonlighting as poster boys and poster girl for their products of choice. She may be sour-graping because it's a fact that she won't be the next elected official we shall be seeing on a huge billboard on EDSA promoting a beauty or health product - unless of course MGM gets her to promote their next blockbuster movie GODZILLA IN MANILA!

(Image from http://aboutmyrecovery.com/)

FUNERARIA SULPICIO

Malapit na ba si lolo o si lola? 'Wag nang maabala. May kaibigan kang nakahanda sumikat man ang araw o bumagyo. FUNERARIA SULPICIO maaasahan. Our motto: "Our Business Is Dead."

(Image from http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/)

NOT AN "ACT OF GOD" BUT AN "ACT OF STUPIDITY"

It's very clear now that the thick-skinned owners and lawyers and apologists of Sulpicio Lines are blaming everybody except themselves. They even blame God when they declared that the tragedy was an "act of God." It wasn't an act of God. It was an "act of stupidity." - on their part. Since day one of the crisis, all they ever accomplished was make life harder for the relatives of their victims by callousness, indifference, and sheer lack of sympathy - to a point of arrogance. It's not like this is the very first time such tragedy ever happened to the shipping line. This is just a repeat of what had already occured in the past. And to this day, they still are a bunch of amateurs when it comes to dealing with a crisis such as this - by blaming every Tom, Dick and Harry on the sea. It's high time they are punished and must be prohibited from operating for now until they show genuine reforms by first thinking of safety each time any of their vessels sets out to sea. Otherwise, let all their ships be used as habitat for barnacles from hereon.

(Image from http://farm4.static.flickr.com/)

EDU'S CRUSADE IS EVERYONE'S CRUSADE

Among the very few honorable men serving President Arroyo's administration is a fellow who stands out and shines for all to see - Eduardo 'Edu' Manzano, a fraternity brother of mine, and currently head of the Optical Media Board (OMB), a line agency directly under the Office of the President (OP). Edu has been doing an excellent job, and has recently waged an all-out war not only to pirates of the movie world, but more particularly to child pornography producers. He has done this also as a private citizen, delivering a dramatic monologue expressing his extreme disgust over the proliferation of pornographic videos that feature Filipino kids. He lamented the fact that many of these discs are on sale at our favorite malls and department stores, some even being next to churches. Edu aired an appeal to these mall operators, church and politicians to follow suit and go all-out in putting a stop to the sale of pornographic materials, and to child pornography itself. Edu is filing charges against mall operators and retailers engaged in the sale of these items. Porn videos are in violation of RA 7610 which guards against child exploitation and abuse. Edu calls on the public to get involved and sign up in a document showing support to this crusade. The document will be posted on the OMB website at http://www.omb.gov.ph/ - Good luck bro!

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

IT COSTS SEVERAL BILLIONS FOR A SIMPLE LUNCH IN HARARE

Thanks to Zimbabwe's dictator Robert Mugabe, the exchange rate now for their currency there is 25 billion Zimbabwean Dollars to a US Dollar, or 40 Zimbabwean Dollars to a British Pound. A simple lunch there now costs literally billions of Zimbabwean dollars! For example: A double cheeseburger in Harare is ZWD 50 billion, add fries and a Coke to that equals to ZWD 80 billion. Currently, the 25 billion and 50 billion notes are the largest in circulation. This is so mind-boggling. Imagine how much money a Zimbabwean has to bring with him just to go to a grocery? Methinks Mugabe's days are numbered. Many Zimbabweans have been seeking refuge elsewhere fleeing from the claws of the dictator. Back here at home, I'm resigned to the sad fact that President Arroyo will be staying on until 2010 - and beyond. Watch them now as they renew calls for Charter Change. But if Arroyo follows the footsteps of Mugabe persecuting and punishing critics and killing journalists, with her fellow-economists screwing our banking system, our Philippine Peso could be just like the Zimbabwean dollar, God forbid. But for now, our peso is stronger as against the dollar, and could well be better if our government is dead serious on proper governance, beginning with our very own Bangko Sentral.

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

THE HIGH COST OF DRIVING

Travelling each single day via public transport, I can't help but notice the change happening gradually on our streets. The number of vehicles are slowly decreasing and the MRT and the LRT have gotten to be more like packed sardine cans. People who used to drive every day are now leaving their cars at home or are parking them somewhere next to a transport terminal. Fuel prices have gone up so astronomically high that soon, it's simply going to be quite impossible to drive to work or take the family out on a road trip. Well, I beat all you guys to it some seven years ago when I simply decided to stop driving my car and take to commuting. I never regretted that decision to this very day. In fact, it's like I've forgotten already how it is to drive around ghastly Metro Manila. Commuting is a great way to get to one's destination. Don't be afraid to try it, it can do wonders to your bank account. Imagine all that amount you'd be saving? The secret to it is to simply wear your most comfortable pair of shoes and before you know it, you've covered several kilometers just by walking. It also is one sure way of preventing heart disease and obesity. Walking is good and commuting is beneficial to your health. It's also your own small way of contributing for an emission-free environment.

(Image from http://www.urbanrail.net/)

YOUR NEXT TRIP IS ON US

Planning your next family vacation this early? Go via Sulpicio Lines! You won't forget your voyage, and you'll surely be hugging your family members. Book now and avail of our special one-way trip ticket for half price. You'll flip over our promos! Sulpicio Lines guarantees you a trip to die for!

(Image from http://cagayandeororealestate.ph/)

SONA (SCREW OUR NATION AGAIN?)

It's that time of the year once again when President Arroyo delivers her State Of The Nation Address (SONA) on July 28. This time, the Batasan Pambansa will be undergoing a major facelift just for Gloria - to the tune of P94 million in taxpayers' money. Yup, that amount could - again, build more toilets for a number of public schools all over the country where the ratio is one toilet per two thousand pupils. Imagine that amount just to please a pseudo-president? Speaker Prospero 'Boy' Nograles sure knows how to play his cards well wherever and whenever it's needed! After all, he has turned his back on former Speaker Jose de Venecia, regardless of all the favors he had gotten from the latter. For a man who only wanted so much to be mayor of Davao City, he sure has reached the top being the fourth most powerful official in the land. Who knows, he may be a Senator someday? As expected, Gloria's SONA will be filled once again with bloated figures, exaggerations, lies, empty promises and untruths. Reminder: When she delivers her message, watch her nose grow several inches longer.

(Image from http://www.abante.com.ph/)

SECOND LIFE

I received two text messages from ex-captive Ces Drilon last June 24 saying, "Leslie, Ces here using my other phone. Thank you for your prayers and forgive my delayed response. Lost both my phones." And, "Thanks, I also remember your call while I was in captivity. Was just afraid to answer as my captors were around." While I am so happy for Ces' recent release from the hands of her captors, I am also saddened by the abduction of four employees of the Basilan Electric Cooperative by the Abu Sayyaf. Sad because we hardly hear any news about them simply because they're just four 'nobodys' and the media just doesn't give a hoot anymore. That's the cruelty of anonymity. Sadly so, the ransom may not be paid, and four lives could just be put to waste.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)