SAKIT-SAKITAN

Are you a fugitive running from the law who needs a temporary place to hide while pretending to be sick? If you are, then St. Luke's Hospital is the ideal place to go. It's your "home away from jail." There, you could be in the company of other felons who suddenly suffer from various sicknesses and ailments otherwise known as "ill-gotten health," whenever confronted by the words "invitation" or "subpoena." You may also arrange for some doctors there to act as your spokespersons where they are well-trained to appear before the media and Senate/Congress officers. At your lawyer's insistence, they can also insist on your grave health condition especially when you are invited to appear the same day before a panel of interrogators a.k.a. grandstanders. 24/7 security, internet connection and unlimited supply of relaxing coffee to soothe your nerves. Call today for reservations, and get that much-needed escape from lawbreakers in disguise as lawmakers.


Paid for by the friends of Mike Arroyo, Joc-Joc Bolante and Jaime Paule.

(Image from http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/)

BOLANTE BY DAY, JOCELYN BY NIGHT

Joc-Joc: "Miguel, Miguel I am sick, call mam Gloria very quick! Gloria, Gloria, shall I die?" (GMA) "No my Joc-Joc, lie and lie!"


Official announcement from St. Luke's Medical Center on Joc-Joc Bolante's health condition:

"Mild recurring headache, slight cough, diarrhea, (he's full of it!), bloodsugar normal, blood pressure: 120/ (over) acting.

(Image from http://pcij.org/)

THROW HIM IN THE CAN

Joc-Joc Bolante arrives at the NAIA:

REPORTER: Sir, any statement?
BOLANTE: Madam President, thanks for the millions ... aaah ... este ... a million thanks pala mam!

(Image from http://gmanews.tv/)

GAIA

The planet Earth has been called Gaia with all the collateral meanings attached to a living organism, not just the living creatures of plant and animal life including humans, but Earth itself together with the non-living elements like the soil, the minerals, the sand on the ocean beds, mountains, valleys, rivers, clouds, mist, precipitation, snow, wind and rain. As we recently celebrated Earth Day, today we still pray for rain because our water reservoirs are dry and so are our rivers. So are our fields, and shortly, so are our faucets to drink. We have punctured the protective layer of our planet with toxic pollutants, cut down the trees (thanks to Bayani Fernando's MMDA for this) that provide us with oxygen, thrown garbage and waste into our rivers, and dehydrated our fields with an over-supply of pesticides and fertilizers (thanks to Joc-Joc Bolante for this). Whatever we do to ourselves, we do to Mother Earth. We have choked the arteries of our bodies the way we have choked the arteries of our cities. Smoke, carbon emissions, fumes from factories (thanks to my pollutant-factory neighbor for the toxic emissions), exhausts from freon and mining waste poison (thanks to DENR Sec. Lito Atienza for the mining permits), and the water channels that weave in and out of our habitats. Thus, the water we drink must be filtered, distilled or boiled, else unsafe for human consumption, and the food we eat must be harvested free from chemicals or animal disease. We go to war and inflict violence to each other in the name of peace or survival. And Mother Earth weeps with us for this unexplained occupation. Today we seed the clouds because a drought is upon us, or the opposition is planning a protest rally again for President Arroyo. For millions of pesos worth of precipitating the heavens, four centimeters of water level is recorded in a dam closest to the metropolis. Not enough, not barely enough, not even little enough to let the flow of a normal supply of water for our homes, much less irrigate our farms which will soon turn into Biofuel plantfields (thanks to Sen. Migs Zubiri's selfish ambition). So, conserve we must, because the crisis is at hand. But in the process, we must also learn to undo the harm we have inflicted upon ourselves, and upon her, Gaia, Mother Earth.

(Image from http://www.xoospace.com/)