DICK AND DICKS

I was bombarded with a few "love letters" in my e-mail from supposedly supporters of president-then-vice-president-very-much-wannabe Bayani Fernando immediately after I had posted this on my Facebook profile, "SI GORDON, 'YAN ANG TUNAY NA BAYANI. SI FERNANDO, 'YAN ANG TUNAY NA DICK," the same day they trumpeted to the whole archipelago their political intentions.

And yes, I have been a constant critic of BF and especially how he displayed his huge photos, sacrificing the true message, all over the metropolis. And how his "urbanidad" program a.k.a. Metro Guwapo simply meant the uglification of Metro Manila. A pinkified metropolis just doesn't appeal to me at all. Perhaps in hospitals and girls' bathrooms, but we're talking here about a major city jungle that is Metro Manila. Green would be more appropos. But that's all in the past now, and Bayani has proven his Mike Velarde and Liberace-like taste for colors.

And now comes the ever-active Richard 'Dick' Gordon. Amazing how he has "nursed" Olongapo City back in good health, right after the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in 1991, not to mention the good things he has done inside Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority (SBMA). How I miss him at the SBMA.

Do you remember that Cabanatuan earthquake rescue operations in 1990? When then Olongapo Mayor Dick Gordon, accompanied by his wife and mother, rushed to the stricken city ahead of a rescue team from Olongapo and in coordination with the Subic team called in by his wife. Their presence was resented by some known Corystas in Nueva Ecija. These stupid small-town politicians wanted to know why a Kilusang Bagong Lipunan (KBL) official like Gordon was getting high visibility in the rescue operations.

Little did their so-called minds know that Gordon had gone there as a director of the Philippine National Red Cross (PNRC). And so what if he was a KBL out there giving unselfishly trying to help the victims? Is there a place for petty politics and picayune minds in tragic emergencies?

In times of extreme emergencies, the best and the worst in man emerge. The best was when Gordon rushed to help out in Cabanatuan. The worst was when those asinine Novo Ecijano Corystas resented Gordon's presence.

They were behaving like desperate dicks.

(Image from www.salta.tv/)

LIKUAN U

I sure hope the MMDA pulls down those Likuan U (Lee Kuan Yew) signs on EDSA's U-turn slots soon before some patriotic Singaporean calls the attention of the government. Otherwise, it certainly would be a very embarrassing thing. Methinks this is no way to pay honor to an esteemed leader like former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew. Who ever had this silly idea must be peltered with rotten tomatoes, or better yet, a kaing of rotten macopa - the pinkier in color, the better.

However, if the MMDA claims not responsible for these signs, then they should at least have the sense of respect to pull them down at the soonest possible time. In Tagalog, katawa-tawa tayo. It's high time Bayani Fernando's Urbanidad Que Barbaridad project turns to some no-nonsense stuff, and not some silly and idiotic patawa signs like these Likuan U. But then again, can one really blame Bayani for his naturally baduy taste as he slowly but surely transforms his Metro Manila (now Metro Philippines?) into one tacky 'tropolis?

HEROES AND HEELS

Today, Manny Pacquiao and his usual entourage composed of the usual suspects and human leeches Lito Atienza and politico-wannabes, will motorcade around Metro Manila's main thoroughfares in celebration of "the real bayani," Manny Pacquiao. This, because there exists a bogus bayani in the person of MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando who (again) has flooded his Metro-Gago contraptions with pink and blue ribbons which says, "Bayani ng Lahing Pilipino," pertaining to Pacquiao, but with color emphasis on "Bayani." The not-so-subtle message he is conveying to the reading public again attempts to remind "urbanidados" he is gunning for the presidency, this in spite of his 1% acceptance rating. I think it's just a waste of taxpayers' money since he can't even win the hearts of his men at the MMDA, much less the country.

The motorcade ends in Malacanang where Mr. Pacquiao pays a courtesy call to another bogus hero, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Of course, she may again make a shameless public declaration that she and Manny are both heroes. What gall, what guts. What pachydermic pronouncement!

But before she fibs on this again, let us not forget what had happened a few years ago - the lie that was EDSA 2. The foreign press did not stand idly as the events leading to EDSA 2 unfolded. Most of the wire services and the major international networks had correspondents monitoring events and reporting on these accordingly. As a result, the controversial nature of the GMA take-over in January 2001 did not escape international scrutiny and received widespread covergae in global media outlets.

The following offer glimpses of what was written about the power grab that deprived President Joseph Estrada of the presidential mandate overwhelmingly given to him by the Philippine electorate in the May 1998 presidential elections. These articles were written by respectable journalists whose keen poltical sense and acumen are unquestionable.

Sandra Burton of TIME says, "Remember Estrada - however cynically - was acting within the framework of the law and under the terms called for by the impeachment proceedings. Had he been declared guilty, he would have had to go. The troubling point remains that he had been convicted. But they had mechanisms to legally change their head of state. The option they chose, popular uprising, while rousing and probably justified, could portend a troubling future for democracy. But if those protests lead to unconstitutionally questionable successions, it becomes a subversion of democracy. Even now, we don't know what percentage of Filipinos wanted Erap to go."

Anthony Spaeth of TIME says, " But the Philippine polity is 77 million strong (2001 figures). Was this a revolution of the Filipino people - or a few hundred thousand Filipinos prompted by a few hundred individuals? perhaps this represents confusion between democratic pasions and the rule of law. More likely, though, People Power has become its own institution and one that seems monopolized by a certain clique. People Power has become an acceptable term for a troubling phenomenon: one that used to be known as mob rule."

Phil Zabriskie of TIME says, "Legitimacy questions crack the foundation of her presidency from her first day in office. The cracks deepened folowing Estrada's arrest in May, a foolishly showy affair that made him a martyr and caused mob riots quickly dubbed EDSA 3. An economy in meltdown, an army that could turn against her, an ex-president who might be more popular that she is, and now, the US soldiers landing on her shores. What Arroyo needs is a bulwark. But without an electoral mandate, the only source is a massive public support, the kind more likely to respond to image and inspiration than intellect."

THE ECONOMIST says, "Gloria Macapagal Arroyo took over the presidency in unconstitutional circumstances that do not stand up well to scrutiny."

Philip Bowring of the INTERNATIONAL HERALD TRIBUNE says, "However, far from being a victory for democracy that is being claimed by leaders of the anti-Estrada movement such as Jaime Sin, the evolution of events has been a defeat for due process. For many, it merely confirms the fragility of political institutions in the Philippines and the likelihood that the streets will become a regular location for political action."

Hilton L. Root of the INTERNATIONAL HERALD TRIBUNE says, "The result is that the Philippines, known for the 'people power' movement that brought down Ferdinand Marcos, has the wrong kind of people power of the 21st century. The Philippines faces a political crisis that goes beyond the need to replace the person at the top. The challenge is to correct the situation in which society is divided into those who can outsmart the system and those who cannot. Removing Estrada will not save the Philippines."

Seth Mydans of THE NEW YORK TIMES says, "People Power 2 was met with doubt and criticism, described by foreign commentators s a "defeat for due process," as a "mob rule," and as a "de facto coup." It was seen as an elitist backlash against a president who had overwhelmingly been elected by the poor. This time it appears "people power" was used not to restore democracy but, momentarily, to supplant it."

Lee Kuan Yew in THE STRAITS TIMES as interviewed by the ASSOCIATED PRESS says, "The change of power in the Philippines was no boost for democracy because it was done outside the constitution."

Jim Mann of the LOS ANGELES TIMES says, "Now by contrast, we are witnessing the use of people power against a leader who was the winner of a legitimate democratic election. No matter how understandable it was, this outbreak of people power doesn't feel like an advance for the cause of democracy, quite the opposite. Who or what, ultimately, was this particular movement against?"

THE WASHINGTON POST editorial says, "...This time, however, the target of Filipinos' "people power" was not a dictator, like Ferdinand Marcos, but Joseph Estrada, a constitutional execurive who received more votes than any previous presidential candidate and who remained popular among the country's poor. Though he Supreme Court ruled that Vice-President Macapagal-Arroyo should be sworn in as president, the legality of the transfer remains questionable."

The ASIA TIMES online says, "Again, therefore, whatever crious legal construction anyone may now attempt to put on the ouster of Estrada, he was ousted by a military coup, with the connivance of the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church, major business groups and two former presidents. This will have any number of consequences, none too pleasant, for the coup markers and - more imporatntly - for the country. One loser among the coup makers will be the Archbishop of Manila, Jaime Cardinal Sin, and his church. Economically, from the standpoint of foreign investors, would you put money into a country whose constitutional and legal system are only as reliable as the will and whim of an entrenched oligarchical elite..."

So, Mrs. Arroyo, before you make that public declaration again that you are a hero just like Manny Pacquiao, please remember how is it that you are now seated on your fragile throne - your stolen throne. Remember also that you once made a boastful and shameless declaration saying, "I'm married to the country."

I wonder, is this why you keep screwing the Filipino people?

(Image by Glenn Dasmarinas at www.gl3nnx.net)

FENCE-FIXING

Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence in Malacanang Palace, and were being interviewed by no less than FG Mike himself. Two were private contractors and the other was the MMDA. The first one takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about 2.1 million pesos: 1 million pesos for materials, 1 million pesos for my equipment and crew, and 100 thousand pesos profit for me."

The second contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and says, "I can do this job for 1.6 million pesos: 750 thousand pesos for materials, 750 thousand pesos for my equipment and crew, and 100 thousand pesos profit for me."

Then comes the third contractor, an engineer from the MMDA. He doesn't do any measuring at all, but instead makes a phone call to his boss. "Opo chairman, akong bahala!" Then, he approaches FG Mike and whispers, "3.6 million pesos."

FG Mike is incredulous and whispers back, "'Di ka nag-measure like the other two guys! How did you come up with such a higher figure, que horor!?"

The MMDA engineer whispers back, "1 million for you, and 1 million for me, and we hire the second guy to fix the fence!"

"DONE!"

(Image from http://www.pinoyweekly.org/)

WHAT'S AMORE?

The song "That's Amore" was a 1953 (wasn't born yet) hit by Dean Martin. Also, the same song first appeared in the soundtrack of the comedy film 'The Caddy,' released by Paramount Pictures later that same year. (still wasn't born yet). If you're familiar with this classic song, try singing it with the version below.

When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie -
that's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, and that's not what you planned -
that's a moray.

When our habits are strange, and our customs deranged -
that's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, and the bales total four -
that's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife, she gets stabbed with a knife -
that's a moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight, used a sword in a fight -
that's Samurai.

And when Bayani he tries, to be president wise -
that's a bore he!

(Image from http://pindutinmoto.blogspot.com/ & http://www.gmanews.tv/)

PINOY IDLE GOES TO METRO HELL

Bayani Fernando dies and goes straight to the nether world Sheol. There, he is immediately greeted warmly by Gloria Arroyo. "Papa Satan will be with you in a few minutes," she says. "Since you are new here, you should probably be warned that we all rise when he enters," she continues. "What?! I get up?! but ma'am, don't forget that I was chairman of Metro Philippines for a long time since I lost in the presidential elections twice!" screamed Bayani. "BF, don't you also forget that I was president of my stolen republic 'til 2020, because when God rejected Jess Dureza's prayer in 2008, Satan immediately seized the opportunity to answer it, and yet I have the manners to rise," explained Gloria. "Not I!" declared Bayani. The argument is becoming warm when Raul Gonzalez approaches. "Peace, madam president and mr. chairman," he says. "I will fix everything." Three solemn knocks announce the coming of Satan. "Attention!" thunders Gonzalez. "Here comes the photographer!" whereupon Bayani Fernando jumps to his feet, folds his arms, sticks out his chin and chest.
Peace and kaayusan reign in Metro Hell.

(Image from http://bambit.kusangpalo.com/)

CHECK OUR SCHOOL-BUILDINGS

Just outside Haiti's capital Port-au-Prince is a not-so-sleepy town of Petionville. Everyone was awakened eyes wide-open with the reality of death when just recently, a three-storey school-building there collapsed just like a house of cards without any warning, crushing some 700 people mostly school-children inside. As of last count, 84 kids have perished from this tragedy, and the culprit - poor engineering. With this sad news, one can't help but wonder about our school-buildings back here at home, and of the condition they must be in. Fact is, we always act too late everytime a tragedy occurs, by creating inutile task forces to investigate on something that could have been prevented in the first place. Be it a collapse of a building, a sinking of a ship, a plane crash or even a stampede of people, we always just act too late. Look at the poor state of many of our buildings in the university belt, not to mention the hole-in-the-wall dormitories and makeshift rooms for bed-spacers, catering mostly to our co-ed students. The existing building code is never given due importance and obeyance that all, and all it takes is just another tragedy of lethal proportions that's waiting to happen for our authorities to 'look into the matter' again, and then they end with the usual practice of finger-pointing. I've been to a few of these buildings and have often wondered why these edifices have not been condemed, adding to the fear is the fact that many of these buildings have fire exits that are either impassable or even padlocked. When will we ever learn? How many more lives must be snuffed-out before we really put our act together ? There must be a sensible and an aggressive common effort between government agencies concerned like the DPWH and the MMDA and the local government unit where the building is located, and of course the willingness of the building owner to conduct a regualr no-nonsense check on all the respective school-buildings. And while they're at it, might as well include all buildings for that matter, and especially the ones older than our grandparents. It would certainly be 'pogi points' for Bayani Fernando's presidential dream if he conducts a personal check on these buildings as MMDA chief, and then render an unbiased verdict on the state and condition of these stuctures. After all, if he claims to be an engineer, then he must be qualified to give his two-cents worth of an opinion. He should then act swiftly on erring building owners and slap them with the corresponding penalties and closure if necessary. Just an unsolicited advice to Mr. Fernando: Please do not instruct your MMDA men to put BAYANI stickers on the buildings after they have been inspected. Don't hard-sell yourself again. It's enough that we already have to see your face all over the metropolis on a daily basis. Act now to save lives, and be a real bayani for a change.

(Image from http://www.i-baguio.com/)

LET HIM DREAM

Bayani Fernando is stealthily encroaching on the whole archipelago with his silly new term - Metro Philippines. Whatever that means, soon, his MMDA engineers will be constructing slippery, elderly-unfriendly pink and blue steel foot-bridges right from the door of his MMDA office to the door of the presidential palace. After all, he now boasts that no less than former president Fidel Ramos has hinted that an engineer could be the next president of the Philippines. Fernando was quick to claim that FVR was alluding to him (Fernando) because he is an engineer. Now we see what goes on in BF's so-called mind these days. Endorsements, silly slogans and the presidency. And what better way to spin this lust of his than to take advantage of his position as MMDA chairman, to put his face on posters bigger than the message. We should all be enraged at the behavior of this engineer who promotes 'kaayusan' and 'disiplina,' and yet he himself doesn't have those two in his character. He says that "engineering technology" is the answer to boost livelihood for many Filipinos in the south, Mindanao in particular. He says that the country's inadequate housing program and the dismal economy is in dire need of his technology to solve the many problems there. Well, more than the poor economy, it's the economist, stupid! - his lady-boss who to this day unlawfully occupies the very office he salivates for. Naglalaway na siya maging presidente! To be more 'street-legal,' atat na atat na siya maging presidente ng 'Pinas! Fernando says that being an engineer, his solution to the Mindanao conflict is really simple: through "technology warfare," he will solve it, and with this Mindanaoans will protect their infrastructures instead of doing other things. I think he's on drugs or on something. Talk about dreaming. He further stressed that based on the statement of FVR about him, he has a big chance of becoming the next Philippine president. Remember when the same FVR endorsed former Speaker Jose de Venecia to be the ruling party Lakas' official presidential bet against former President Joseph Estrada? Well, JDV lost a poor second after Erap won the presidency by a huge margin. The Ramos endoresement is really nothing for BF to jump about and announce to his whole Metro Philippines. It's more of an empty recommendation from a not-so-clean-himself ex-president. It would bring more damage to BF than good, not to mention his 1% acceptable rating among Pinoys. Well, on that note, the reason probably why Fernando wants to bring infrastructure to Mindanao is the fact that there's really nothing else that he knows except that - a disguised "engineering technology" which would really just boost his steel business when they start building steel bridges, pink fences, concrete barriers and all those ghastly MMDA contraptions which to me are the silliest pink ideas for any urban area. His plan to reach the south and possibly the whole archipelago is a selfish motive aimed at enlarging his territorial clout needed to feed his insatiable ambition, kasi, sirang-sira na siya dito sa Metro-Manila. But that's really not the answer. The wiser answer to the problems are food production, job creation, peace and order, and respect to other faiths such as Islam. And speaking of respect, Fernando needs to have that within his people. People like those sixteen MMDA employees assigned to the Sidewalk Clearing Operations Group (SCOG) who were arrested recently for stealing PhP 5 million worth of LRTA vertical clearance posts which they eventually sold for scrap. These are the same people who see and salute his pictures more than absorbing his 'fine-printed' messages on a daily basis, simply because of the sheer size of the former, and instead of the more important message which isn't really the MMDA's priority. The same people who have been found guilty of running away with the goods of sidewalk vendors - vegetables, fruits, chickens, fish, DVDs, slippers, socks, umbrellas, ballpens, combs, briefs, and even dentures of vendors, etc. You name it, they stole it and took them to their homes! Geesh. They should all be wrapped with BF's posters, re-painted with black and yellow stripes and then use them as humps along EDSA to slow down all those killer buses with their 'shabu-head' drivers sporting BAYANI stickers. So, what really is Metro Philippines? Sounds oxymoronic to me. I've heard of Metro Cebu and Metro Davao and of course Metro Manila, but Metro Philippines? What is that? Perhaps to Bayani Fernando, since he thinks that the MMDA programs and projects he has instituted have been the best thing that ever happened to our urban cities, he probably wants now to take the whole country by his Metro-Gago, Tao-Ginago/ Urbanidad pero que barbaridad slogans. And since he has openly announced his intention to run for president in 2010, he now realizes that Metro Manila is just not big enough in terms of the electoral populace to usher him to Malacanang. And so, the solution is to simply transform the whole country's perception from the public mind with just two words: Metro Philippines. Of course, this is all just strategy and spin, and it stinks. Building steel bridges to connect the whole archipelago is a positive move - for his steel business. Then, transforming the Metro Manila Development Authority (MMDA) into the Metro Philippines Development Authority (MPDA) under the Office of the President (OP) is also positive - for the the successor (if any), since all the secret and unbidded-out deals will still continue. Imagine, if the whole country is transformed into Metro Philippines, then that would mean 7,100 plus more small Metro Manilas in terms of voting strength, budget and political clout, enought to kick one upstairs straight to Malacanang Palace. But with his 1% rating conducted by the SWS just recently, Bayani Fernando still has a good chance to be just a 'nuisance candidate,' joining the ranks of Ely Pamatong, Eddie Gil and Co.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

LATEST SWS SURVEY - BAYANI FERNANDO: 1%

Bayani Fernando's political machinery is on cruise control for now. Nowadays, one can easily spot tricycles carrying his stickers which says, 'Bayani 2010 For President Movement,' or his 'new and improved' posters which has a confusing new name for our country - Metro Philippines. What that exactly means is still a puzzle to me to this day. I'm sure he's also clueless as to what it means. Is he trying to put the whole country under his jurisdiction, for obvious reason? In the latest survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations (SWS) from the dates September 24-27, 2008, the following results show Noli de Castro 19% from 28%, Joseph Estrada 17% (not included last March), Manny Villar 17% from 10%, Chiz Escudero 13% from 16%, Loren Legarda 8% from 20%, Ping Lacson 8% from 10%, Mar Roxas 6% from 12%, Gloria Arroyo 3%, Dick Gordon 1%, Jojo Binay 1%, and Bayani Fernando 1%. It's obvious that legions of Filipinos believe that Bayani Fernando (contrary to what many people think), just doesn't have even the faintest qualities to make president, and one outstanding reason among several is that they simply don't trust him at all, not forgetting how he has and continues to abuse his position as MMDA chairman. It is also my personal opinion that Mr. Fernando's foot simply doesn't fit the presidential shoe, even if that shoe is hand-made especially for him by a reputable shoe maker from Marikina. The presidential shoe will always be too big for his parochial foot.

(Image from http://img5.imageshack.us/)

BAYANI FERNANDO, MAGULANG NG METRO MANILA

Allow me to christen MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando with a new label - 'Father of Metro Manila.' In the vernacular, that would mean 'Ama ng Metro Manila' or magulang. For magulang indeed is he. Imagine, together with his wife-accomplice Marikina City Mayor Marides Fernando, they have flooded the Loyola Memorial Park in Marikina City with Bayani Fernando tarpaulins and posters. One can only imagine what other places including several other cemeteries are filled with his tarpaulins. As a matter of fact, they were so plenty that they probably outnumbered the dead buried in that final resting place. They simply have no respect at all for both the living and the dead. With Bayani's 'magulang' schemes and tactics, I won't be surprised if the names of the dead will be listed as registered voters in Marikina and then would be voting for him in 2010, if and when he runs for president. But for now, let us zero in on his silly slogans and his idiotic innuendos like the new 'Bayani 2010' stickers now seen on Tamaraw FX taxis, and his new photos on 'improved' posters. I think they're simply a different picture with the same bull. I've said it before, if he can't play fair while he's still a local executive, how fair do you think will he be if he becomes a national executive? God forbid. Bayani Fernando is so 'bilib sa sarili,' he thinks he's God's gift to Metro Manila and the country, which explains his lust for the presidency. But, what he and his mindless supporters will soon find out is that 'BF' is one gift we Metro Manilenos would rather not have at all. Thanks but no thanks. Ang taong ginagago'y 'di boboto sayo.

(Image from http://otopphilippines.gov.ph/)

PET PEEVES 2

As mentioned, UNDERTOW will list its top ten pet peeves on an occasional basis, a first-hand experience of them, many as they come, right within the heart of Bayani Fernando's Metro-Gago, Tao-Ginago / "urbanidad pero que barbaridad" metropolis.

My top ten pet peeves for this post are as follows:

1. Bayani Fernando's posters. (katas ng flood control project for Metro Manila?)
2. Subdivision security guards who won't accept your ID and insist on your driver's license. (duh!)
3. SM malls featuring caucasian models on their billboards and posters promoting locally-made clothing and items. (don't you like brown people, Mr. Sy?)
4. Movie-goers sitting near you who (still) talk on their cellphones while the film is on. (are you telling him the story, 'cause I bet your abusing your Sun cellular?!)
5. Cashiers who always ask you for coins before giving you your change. ("may dalawang piso nalang kayo?")
6. Out of order MRT escalators. (MRT=Massive Respiratory Tension)
7. Out of order LRT elevators. (LRT=Lacking Repairs Today)
8. Internet cafe customers who play on-line games, screaming and cursing. ("hey boy, this your house too?")
9. Idiotic noontime shows like 'Wowowee' that promote mendicancy to its contestants both young and old. ("hello papi, ang pogi pogi mo talaga! pa-kiss! penge pera!")
10. Idiotic noontime show hosts like Willie Revillame who openly displays his sexual immorality while exploting young girls on his show. (attention: MTRCB ... again.)

(Image from http://www.mmda.gov.ph/)

NO WAY, EMEMDEE-EY!

It certainly makes private citizens like me suspicious, knowing that no less than MMDA Chairman Bayani 'BF' Fernando is the alleged owner of BF Steel Corporation, as mentioned by 'The Game' on the comment section of a previous similar post right here, and then at the same time embarks on an aggressive "ironization" of Metro Manila - constructing pink and blue footbridges here, pink and blue footbridges there, pink fences here, pink fences there - and those ghastly looking male urinals that even 'askals' would not dare use to do their thing, not to mention those Toblerone-like killer concrete barriers which, to this day all remain unlit and have maimed and killed a number of motorists under the watch of a presidentiable wannabe who believes so much in himself thinking that Marikina is Metro-Manila, and Metro-Manila is the Philippines. I smell some kind of a conflict of interest here somehow. Does the MMDA bid out its "ironization projects," or are they automatically awarded to the BF Steel Corporation? Can the MMDA please be transparent on this thing since it involves no less than hard-earned taxpayers' money? By the way, while those steel footbridges may be good to many pedestrians concerning their safety, it ain't so totally safe since they're so slippery and dangerous to its users during and after the rains because of its flat and smooth surface, and most especially to the elderly and the infirm. It's hard to believe that a guy like BF, who thinks of the beautification (many call it 'uglification') of Metro-Manila would not prioritize safety, and it sure is not on top of his list. He would prioritize his posters all over the thoroughfares like EDSA, BAYANI stickers on buses and "guwapito-guwapo ads" on LRT trains, but never on safety. Unlit concrete barriers, slippery steel footbridges, askal-unfriendly male urinals, arrogant kotong MMDA blue boys, idiotic slogans and silly color combinations that even Liberace, German Moreno or Mike Velarde would not approve. That's today's MMDA for you. So, is the Philippines ready for a Bayani Fernando presidency? And what, a pink Malacanang Palace? No way, Ememdee-ey!

(Image from http://wikimedia.org/)

BF CONSULTS MADAME AURING

Bayani Fernando is known to frequent astrologers, soothsayers and others of that ilk. One day, he visits Madame Auring and asks her, "What day will I die?" After carefully looking at BF's charts, she declares, "You will die on Metro-Vendors' Holiday." Much perturbed, BF demands, "Which one?" "I don't know," replies the multi face-lifted madame. BF becomes very angry, "You must know!" he shouts, "I insist upon the truth!" "I don't know," persists Madame Auring, "because any day you die will be a Metro-Vendors' Holiday!"

(Images from http://www.pep.ph/ & http://www.mukamo.com/)

METRO GAGO / TAO GINAGO

Is our favorite public servant Fernandong 'Di Bayani pulling a fast one on us, with his sights trained at 2010? I ask this question because just as we woke up one day staring at his despicable pictures on posters all over EDSA, there seems to be another sneaky attempt at name recall of him on buses plying the avenue. Notice how many of these buses sport an elongated poster on its dashboard by the driver's side just behind the windshield with the name 'BAYANI,' and with a matching Philippine flag on the left side. Are those his posters? If they are, then what a shame. How about the posters inside the LRT-3 coaches that says, "Metro Gwapito in 2008 - Metro Gwapo in 2010" Bayani is really trying every trick in his filthy book to remind citizens and commuters that he wants to be president in 2010. So, what better way than to take advantage of the public transport system to support him. If Mr. Fernando can't play fair from where he is today, how much (or less) fair play do you think he would inject just to perpetuate him to power if and when he becomes president? Can you even imagine him painting every building pink, Malacanang Palace included? For a guy whose ego is bigger than his brains, he's better off serving as a Marikina kagawad. This guy doesn't get my vote. Tear down those posters and those elongated BAYANI posters on those buses. Shame on Bayani Fernando!

(Image from http://bambit.kusangpalo.com/)

GAIA

The planet Earth has been called Gaia with all the collateral meanings attached to a living organism, not just the living creatures of plant and animal life including humans, but Earth itself together with the non-living elements like the soil, the minerals, the sand on the ocean beds, mountains, valleys, rivers, clouds, mist, precipitation, snow, wind and rain. As we recently celebrated Earth Day, today we still pray for rain because our water reservoirs are dry and so are our rivers. So are our fields, and shortly, so are our faucets to drink. We have punctured the protective layer of our planet with toxic pollutants, cut down the trees (thanks to Bayani Fernando's MMDA for this) that provide us with oxygen, thrown garbage and waste into our rivers, and dehydrated our fields with an over-supply of pesticides and fertilizers (thanks to Joc-Joc Bolante for this). Whatever we do to ourselves, we do to Mother Earth. We have choked the arteries of our bodies the way we have choked the arteries of our cities. Smoke, carbon emissions, fumes from factories (thanks to my pollutant-factory neighbor for the toxic emissions), exhausts from freon and mining waste poison (thanks to DENR Sec. Lito Atienza for the mining permits), and the water channels that weave in and out of our habitats. Thus, the water we drink must be filtered, distilled or boiled, else unsafe for human consumption, and the food we eat must be harvested free from chemicals or animal disease. We go to war and inflict violence to each other in the name of peace or survival. And Mother Earth weeps with us for this unexplained occupation. Today we seed the clouds because a drought is upon us, or the opposition is planning a protest rally again for President Arroyo. For millions of pesos worth of precipitating the heavens, four centimeters of water level is recorded in a dam closest to the metropolis. Not enough, not barely enough, not even little enough to let the flow of a normal supply of water for our homes, much less irrigate our farms which will soon turn into Biofuel plantfields (thanks to Sen. Migs Zubiri's selfish ambition). So, conserve we must, because the crisis is at hand. But in the process, we must also learn to undo the harm we have inflicted upon ourselves, and upon her, Gaia, Mother Earth.

(Image from http://www.xoospace.com/)

BF'S UGLY POSTERS / 'METRO GAGO' AND 'TAO GINAGO' CAMPAIGN

Those shameless posters of MMDA's Bayani Fernando along EDSA must be acted upon and removed by the MMDA boss himself, or he truly will invite public anger for them to tear it down themselves. It's really all done in bad taste. Imagine a picture of 'Metro Gago' himself and 'Tao Ginago', while his message is likened to that of a fineprint in a contract compared to his huge pachydermic face. I do have a suggestion to his MMDA stormtroopers though. Why not put BF's pictures on all the unlit and destructive concrete barriers on EDSA? That way, motorists would now have a valid reason to plow into those concrete barriers!

(Image from http://lemonodor.com/)

ANG FERNANDONG 'DI BAYANI!

MMDA Chair Bayani Fernando's pink fences are a sight for sore eyes, not to mention the harmful concrete barriers along EDSA and that stupid order for motorcyclists to display their motorcycle's plate numbers on their helmets. It gives one a sneak preview of the kind of taste BF has for colors and slogans (and ideas) such as his METRO GWAPO project which should be more fittingly called METRO GAGO, after his dumb antics - and now comes huge posters of himself in disguise as slogans of discipline. Say what? Wasn't he the same guy who cautioned advertisers on the blatant display of posters in the Metropolis, EDSA in particular? And now we have to suffer each day having to look at his posters that display his picture more than his message. But one clear unwritten message here is that he is now positioning himself for the 2010 presidential elections. He has disobeyed the law (his law) by putting up posters - contrary to his campaign to rid our main thoroughfares of billboards that would only distract the motorist. And, where did he get the funds to put up these sickening pictures of himself? It certainly must be from taxpayers money. Pink fences and sneaky antics. That's Chairman BF for you. But as for me, he won't get my vote. By the way, the picture above seems more appropriate for his latest campaign. It's a picture that certainly speaks for itself, wouldn't you agree?

(Image from www.websaytko.com)