HONEST JUDGE - AN OXYMORON?

A retired Supreme Court justice has been banned for life in the practice of law. This is one fella who was unfortunate to get caught. Many more like him are out there lurking in the dark - justices, judges, lawyers and pseudo-lawyers.

Concerned lawyers' groups have been agitating for action against these crooks in robes. Even some honest justices and judges (there still are?) have admitted that there are rotten eggs in their midst and have endorsed a clean-up drive (ho-hum) before the situation gets out of hand and the people completely lose their trust in the courts. The public perception is that gone are the days when justices and judges were much respected and revered because of their probity and integrity, and when they led exemplary lives and were never seen in social functions and official parties. Today, these members of the bench can be easily seen in karaoke establishments and casinos, restaurants and hotel lobbies, enjoying themselves at the expense of people who court their favorable decisions.

It's about time for Congress to enact a Judicial Reform Act in order to attempt to clean up the judiciary and ferret out its corrupt members. Congress leaders could dig up an old judicial reform bill submitted before martial law was declared but never reached enactment because it simply got caught by events.

Among the reforms sought in the proposal were:

- No judge may serve in his own province.

- No new judge may serve in Manila before he has served for some time in another province.

- No family members may be appointed by justices and judges in their courts.

- There should be no interference in the raffling of cases among the courts.

- Recommendations by politicians for judiciary posts must be rejected.

In addition, 'judicial fixers' must also be banned by the courts. These people act as liaison officers of justices and judges, looking for the right clients since decisions can be had if the price is right.

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STANDING FIRM

Certain groups are now bent on elevating the late President Corazon Aquino's status to sainthood, unmindful that she was not a religious figure, but a political one. As such, even on the issue of making her a national hero, many other Filipinos must first be accorded such a high status before her. If so, it only shows that even in death, our dearly departed deserving heroes can be 'bypassed.'

On my objection to her being a "saint," simply because she was never a religious figure - but allow me to make mention of a book Standing Firm, written by former US Vice-President Dan Quayle which devotes an entire chapter on the US role in smashing the 1989 coup against Cory Aquino.

Quayle's book discusses the frantic President Aquino's appeal for US aid to defeat the RAM rebels, who were on the brink of ousting her because they had control of the air. Quayle, who had to decide whether or not to rescue President Aquino since President George Bush Sr. was enroute to Malta for the Malta Summit with President Mikhail Gorbachev at the time of the Philippine coup. The book contains certain revelations which would be embarrassing to the legions of die-hard Corystas.

After her administration was saved by the US Air Force, President Aquino and her officials quickly adopted the line that they did not seek US support and that anyway such help was not crucial to her quelling the coup. Quayle said that President Aquino begged him three times for US aid, even asking for the bombing of rebel positions. Quayle claimed credit for saving the Aquino administration. In fact, that particular chapter of his book was titled "Saving Aquino." If it's true that Cory indeed asked Quayle to bomb rebel positions, then that could automatically disqualify her to be a candidate for Catholic sainthood. Hard to imagine a soft-spoken Philippine president asking a super-power nation to eliminate several of her fellow-Filipinos in a foreign and sovereign country at a time of peace (for the US). Quite disturbing, don't you think?

Quayle asks why Aquino became anti-American even after she was saved by the US jets. He refers to the fact that she caved in to the anti-US elements in her government who wanted to boot out the US bases in the country. Political circles believed that her stance on the bases showed that certain groups dictated her economic and foreign policies.

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BAN MULTIPLE POSITIONS

Malacanang will surely say that the reason why most if not all cabinet members hold multiple positions is that they are mandated by law to do so - ex officio, by virtue of being department heads. So, simply put, the Palace cannot really do anything about it even if there is a silent public outcry over such multiple positions together with its corresponding fabulous allowances and other seemingly endless privileges.

Granted. But President Arroyo can easily settle this if and when the matter blows off its lid by telling her department secretaries and other executive officials that they may hold on to their multiple positions, as long as they refrain from collecting the allowances and the per diems, and give up the privileges like service vehicles, free food and drinks and accomodations in the various classy establishments such as hotels and restaurants, not to mention additional jobs for their relatives and friends.

Only then can we really find out if they really desire to serve the public without such privileges, pomp and perks. Let's start with those fat cats in government banks and institutions, and remind them that a public office is a public trust and never a private ATM.

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BODYGUARDS

High-profile public officials will surely make a big fuss about it if and when a crackdown (again?) on bodyguards and private armies are implemented. It is common knowledge that many national and local executives, acting like miniature monarchs, employ the services of armed-goons who terrorize the citizenry. Even the wives and children of these public servants are escorted by armed-goons.

We do not quite understand the penchant of these government executives to have armed hoodlums following them every minute of the day. If they are really loved by the people as they claim to be so, what then is the need for bodyguards? Most of the time these security people are instruments of oppression and abuse.

Sad to say, some of these armed men will kill on orders of their masters, and many crimes, especially in far away localities, are committed by these bodyguards who remain unpunished. These security people are the curse of businessmen who cannot refuse their demands. Ask owners of bars and restaurants who have lost large sums of money simply because these men do not pay their bills. Ask waitresses who had to submit to the advances of these people, and they will tell you that indeed, many of these security people abuse their authority. The Palace should strictly enforce the rule that no local executive may employ no more than two bodyguards, who must have PNP and NBI clearances.

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THREE PRESIDENTS AND A NOT QUITE

One night, President Gloria Arroyo is awakened by President Manuel Quezon's ghost in Malacanang. Gloria asks: "Mishter Preshident, what ish the besht thing I can do to shave the Philippinsh?"

"Don't pursue Charter Change, listen to your countrymen, and always set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Quezon advises.

The next night, the ghost of President Elpidio Quirino moves through the dark bedroom. "Mishter Preshident," Gloria asks, "What ish the besht thing I can do to shave the Philippinsh?"

"Cut taxes, fight corruption, live a simple life, and settle your legitimacy issue once and for all," Qurino advises.

Gloria isn't sleeping well the next night, while FG Mike is snoring like a warthog, embracing his favorite Winnie the Pooh coloring book. She sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's President Ramon Magsaysay's ghost! "Mishter Preshident," again Gloria asks, "What ish the besht thing I can do to shave the Philippinsh?"

Magsaysay replies: "GO RIDE A PLANE."

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GLORIANIUM

Filipino scientists recently achieved an amazing historical and scientific breakthrough after discovering what they now claim to be "the heaviest and the most unstable element known to science." The new element has been appropriately named "Glorianium," which has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held hostage by forces called morons, surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

While Glorianium has no electrons, it is however inert. It can be detected as it impedes every action with which it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of Glorianium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second only.

Glorianium has a normal half-life of 6 years, but acts and reacts just like its cousin Diktatorium. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Glorianium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes. This will happen when her honorable iso-dopes in Congress convene, forming an amoeba-like Constituent-Assembly, hoping to extend her parasitic reign against the will of a host nation.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some Filipino scientists to speculate that Glorianium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

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JUST COMPENSATION?

There is a group of Filipinos who want our government to ask Japan to extend benefits to all those who collaborated with the Japanese Imperial Army during the Japanese Occupation of the Philippines. These Filipinos say that Japan should treat collaborators in the same way that the United States treated Filipinos who fought in the U.S. Army, and that Japan should grant them Japanese citizenship. Thousands of Filipinos served in pro-Japanese organizations, such as the Bureau of Constabulary, the propaganda office and the Makapili.

Thousands of other Filipinos were forced to work for the Japanese Occupation forces or for the Japanese-backed government. People who worked for the Japanese at the point of a bayonet are also entitled to some form of compensation from Japan, whose government has declared that it wants to make up for the evils the Japanese Imperial forces committed during the Pacific War. This sense of guilt has raised the issue of compensation for the thousands of Asian women who were forced to serve as "comfort women" for Japanese soldiers.

Some of the Filipinos who are pushing the idea of compensation for Japanese collaborators go as far as to suggest that the Philippines may have chosen the wrong side during the Pacific War. They cite the long list of injustices Filipinos have received at the hands of the Americans even though the Philippines was the staunchest U.S. ally in Asia. If we had sided with Japan, would we now be an economic power like South Korea and Taiwan, which were ruled by the Japanese for many years?

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