Friday, November 28, 2008


A Filipino a la David living in Manila today would probably write Psalm 23 this way:

"Gloria is my shepherd, I shall be in want. She leadeth me beside still factories. She maketh me to lie down on park benches. She restoreth my doubts about her 'Strong Republic.' She guideth me onto the paths of unemployment for her cronies' sake. I do fear the evil-doers, for she talks with them constantly. The privileges for the rich and her deficit spending, they discomfort me. She anointeth me with never-ending debt, and my savings and assets shall soon be gone. Surely, poverty and hard-living shall follow me, and my jobless children shall dwell in my basement forever."


FG Mike Arroyo wakes up one morning, looks out from the Malacanang Palace window and sees "MIKE ARROYO SUCKS" written in urine on a huge pile of sand. Furious, he calls the PSG and demands the perpetrators be found. Later that same day, several PSG guards return.

"Sir," says the first guard, "Na-analyze na po ng intelligence ang urine, at galing daw po kay VP De Castro." FG Mike goes purple with rage and shouts, "Que barbaridad! Is that all?!"

"Well, no sir," says the agent, "It's.. aah.. ma'am President's handwriting!"


A little boy wanted PhP500 badly and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the PhP500. When PhilPost authorities received the letter addressed to "GOD, PHILIPPINES," they decided to send it to President Arroyo. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that she instructed her private secretary to send the little boy a PhP50 bill. President Arroyo thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the PhP50 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Malacanang and, as usual, those crooks deducted PhP450.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

"A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches." - Proverbs 22:1

Forbidden fruits create many jams. A persistently covetous man cannot hold a position of responsibilty in the church. It is important, and often looked by many of us, that covetousness is a sin that cries out for disciplinary action (1 Corinthians 6:9,10). In God's assessment, covetousness is just as grievous in His sight as immorality and idolatry. While the latter two are obvious whenever a man indulges himself in them, covetousness is hidden in one's heart most of the time, but once in a while, it surfaces to expose the guilty man. If this happens, he should be disqualified for leadership position in church such as being a pastor. If he is pugnacious, or fails to take care of his own household, or is a drunkard, everybody in church, leaders in particular must agree to the point that he must be forfeited of his rights and privileges (and even honor) to minister. By the same token, covetousness disqualifies him, for he is meant to be generous, hospitable and loving - not lusting, and not always craving for more material things such as a big house, a new car, and perhaps to be more physical - a new mistress. And so, the church should not be lenient nor should act in haste. When a pastor shows by his lifestyle that covetousness is a characteristic of his own personality, then the church would be in a position, on the basis of 1 Corinthians 6:9,10, to take disciplinary measures against him. Sad to say, other churches would do the opposite. God has entrusted the church to judge with righteous judgement and not allow blatant and recurring sin. How many times has this happened? Count the fingers of your hand. It is of primary importance then that a minister of the church be unaccusable and irreproachable. If a blameworthy man is placed into the ministry, being in the lead, the whole church and the testimony of the gospel suffers and is brought to a poor level to that of pagans and infidels. The doctrine he preaches, prosperity and all, even though they may be sound, will be discredited. Even his self-will, being carnal, is a sign of pride and arrogance. To be steadfast in your mission is commendable, but to be stubborn in your error will lead to over-confidence, which is a denial of the very grace of God a pastor should instead be proclaiming. The arrogant man, if placed in ministry, will not think twice of making a shipwreck out of his faith and other people's faith because he is not willing to confess his faults and make amends. Also, a pastor who views some female sheep in his flock as slabs of steak or even mere morsels of meat, and indulges often in beer and wine will soon be a victim of his own vice. His mind will not be clear and lucid, as is the requirement for shepherds who are meant to watch over the health of the flock (not the wealth or vital statistics of the flock). His intellectual capacity must be clear and sharp, and a lover of wine shall never be so. A preacher whose teachings circumnavigate only on financial gain and prosperity can in no sense be a representative of Him who said, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man hath nowhere to lay His head." (Luke 9:58, Matthew 8:20). Sad to say, throughout church history, we hear of cases where promising ministries were destroyed because the preacher was given to base gain. We still hear of them to this day. Check out your neighborhood fastfood joints. They're there, short of advertising to the crowd, "Only the rich are welcome in my church. If you're poor, try the fastfood outlet next-door." A man who is fond of money is not necessarily an embezzler. But a man may join a good cause and seek the pastoral office for the sake of material advantage. Likewise, Peter warns against such: "Feed the flock of God which is among you." (1 Peter 5:2). God excludes men from the ministry who have a mercenary spirit going out in search of riches, anxious to add to his possessions regardless of whether legitimate or not, whether fair or foul. A greedy person lays his own snare, into which he will ultimately fall. Judas betrayed Christ for a paltry sum of money. It is a mystery why greedy pastors seek the ministry to enrich themselves, when there are other venues available for them like the networking business of selling new-age garbage. In conclusion, the over-all impression is the Godly and mature character of the man, all-rounded, as James says, "Perfect, lacking in nothing." He is grown-up in all aspects of life. The term "covetous" is similar to "given to filthy lucre." This concentrates more on the intent and purpose of the man to enrich himself with earthly goods. Such a person in ministry will prove dishonest and will not be able to handle the financial aspect of his calling, thus bringing disrepute upon himself and his associates. A church having annointed teachers and pastors may not be the most popular church in town. On the other hand, a popular church may also have pastors of ill-repute, whose heart is planted on earthly treasures alone. Such churches will only have the numbers. But it all ends there. Again, our Lord said, "Feed my sheep." He didn't say, "Count them." In fact, He didn't even say, "Eat them." Indeed, Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

Monday, November 24, 2008


Even if your Bible may be covered with dust by now, you may want read these awesome facts.

- What is the shortest chapter in the Bible? Answer - Psalm 117
- What is the longest chapter in the Bible? Answer - Psalm 119
- Which chapter is in the center of the Bible? Answer - Psalm 118
- Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalm 118
- Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalm 118
- Add these numbers up and you get 1188
- What is the center verse in the Bible? Answer - Psalm 118:8
- Does this verse say something significant about God's perfect will for our lives?

The next time someone says they would like to find God's perfect will for their lives and that they want to be in the center of His will, just send them to the center of His Word.

- Psalm 118:8 (NKJV) "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."

Now, isn't it odd how this worked out? (or was God in the center of it?) Awesome, huh?


The influx of Korean nationals in the country have shown how important it is for them to learn the English language. Interestingly, many of them learn it with a strong Filipino flavor. English is a funny language, especially in pronunciation, stress and syllabication. Here, you'll see a few peculiar examples why. Try it.

- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm was used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- We must polish the Polish furniture.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- I did not object to the object.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
- The buck does strange things when the does are present.
- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- The wind was too strong for us to wind the sail.
- After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
- Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
- How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

So, many of us take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly. Confusion, thy name is English!

And to our visiting Korean friends in the Philippines, learn on - but please behave while here.


Well, this may apply only to US Presidents, so these facts shouldn't scare our presidentiable wannabes, or should it?
Also notice that it goes in increments of 20 years.

1840: William Henry Harrison (Died in Office)

1860: Abraham Lincoln: (Assassinated)

1880: James A. Garfield (Assassinated)

1900: William McKinley (Assassinated)

1920: Warren G. Harding (Died in Office)

1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (Died in Office)

1960: John F. Kennedy (Assassinated)

1980: Ronald Reagan (Survived Assassination Attempt)

What am I saying? It doesn't necessarily mean that the next Philippine President to be elected in 2010 (if elections happen), will meet the same fate as his/her American counterparts. But then again, if an evil president he/she must be, so be it?

(Image from

Sunday, November 23, 2008


San Miguel, Manila -- A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of First Gentleman Mike Arroyo inside Malacanang Palace. The flood began in the First Gentleman's private bathroom where both books were kept. Both of his books have been lost. A Malacanang spokesman said the First Gentleman was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one. In an attempt to ease the pain of her husband, the President has ordered her top PSG men to buy several coloring books with attractive animal covers.
The Malacanang Press Corps tried earlier to get more details on the matter, but to date, no official statement has been issued by the Office of the First Gentleman.


The song "That's Amore" was a 1953 (wasn't born yet) hit by Dean Martin. Also, the same song first appeared in the soundtrack of the comedy film 'The Caddy,' released by Paramount Pictures later that same year. (still wasn't born yet). If you're familiar with this classic song, try singing it with the version below.

When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie -
that's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, and that's not what you planned -
that's a moray.

When our habits are strange, and our customs deranged -
that's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, and the bales total four -
that's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife, she gets stabbed with a knife -
that's a moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight, used a sword in a fight -
that's Samurai.

And when Bayani he tries, to be president wise -
that's a bore he!