ROADKILL REVELATION

Long after she had been ousted by a coup, Gloria Arroyo and her driver were cruising along MacArthur Highway one evening when a dog loomed in front of their car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The aged canine was struck and was killed instantly. Gloria told her driver to go up to the house on the roadside and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive whiskey in one hand, and an expensive cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened to you?" asked Gloria.

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me this cigar, and his wife gave me whiskey."

"My God, what have you told them?" asked Gloria. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the house and said, "I'm Gloria Arroyo's driver and I've just killed the old dog!"

"The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

SAKIT-SAKITAN

Are you a fugitive running from the law who needs a temporary place to hide while pretending to be sick? If you are, then St. Luke's Hospital is the ideal place to go. It's your "home away from jail." There, you could be in the company of other felons who suddenly suffer from various sicknesses and ailments otherwise known as "ill-gotten health," whenever confronted by the words "invitation" or "subpoena." You may also arrange for some doctors there to act as your spokespersons where they are well-trained to appear before the media and Senate/Congress officers. At your lawyer's insistence, they can also insist on your grave health condition especially when you are invited to appear the same day before a panel of interrogators a.k.a. grandstanders. 24/7 security, internet connection and unlimited supply of relaxing coffee to soothe your nerves. Call today for reservations, and get that much-needed escape from lawbreakers in disguise as lawmakers.


Paid for by the friends of Mike Arroyo, Joc-Joc Bolante and Jaime Paule.

(Image from http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/)