FOUR DOCTORS AND A SQUATTER IN THE PALACE

(with gratitude to http://oppositeofapathy.wordpress.com/ for the excellent photo above).

Four successful doctors of medicine were attending a medical conference and were together in the same table. And so goes this discussion over dinner:

The world-renowned Japanese doctor said, "Medicine in my country so advanced, we take kidney out from man, put into anoder man, and he out looking for wok in six weeks!"

The ultra-famous German doctor said, "Zas eez notzing! Ve can take a lung out of zis one person, put it into anozer, und have him out looking for vork in four veeks!"

The highly-acclaimed British doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so bloody advanced that we can take half the heart out of one person, put it into another, and have both of them looking for work in two weeks!"

The multi-awarded botica sa barangay Filipino doctor, as usual, not to be outdone, interjected, "You pipols are so way behind na talaga! We Pinoys allowed a woman with NO HEART to illegally occupy Malacanang Palace since 2001, and she's still alive! And because of that, to this day, HALF THE COUNTRY ARE STILL OUT LOOKING FOR WORK!"

(Image from http://oppositeofapathy.wordpress.com/)

PROMISE THE NATION, BUT PLEASE DON'T BREAK IT THIS TIME

Senator Ernesto Maceda couldn't have said it better in his recent column, pointing out "What GMA can do" to appease the nation. Manong Ernie wrote, "Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita, Presidential Adviser Gabriel Claudio and Presidential Spokesman Anthony Golez insist that GMA will step down in 2010. No one believes them because GMA has very little credibility left and her body language says otherwise."

Remember Press Secretary Jess Dureza's 'trial balloon prayer' and Gloria's fake reaction? If GMA steps down in 2010, and then presidential elections were to be held, she can still be elected as Prime Minister if and when the tularemic troika of Speaker Boy Nograles, Rep. Mikey Arroyo and Rep. Louie Villafuerte have it their sinister way to form a Constituent Assembly (Con-Ass).

If President Gloria Arroyo wants to be believed, then let us all echo Senator Maceda's challenge to Gloria and her allies in her roguish regime. Let us all compel GMA to promise the nation (and not to break it this time) that she will not seek ANY public office be it the Presidency or the Prime Ministership - and let her now put this in writing, as such:

"I pledge to God and to the Filipino people and to my family that I will step down in 2010. If a Constituent Assembly is approved by Congress and an extension of my term is approved, I will not serve. If a change to a parliamentary form of government is approved, I will not accept the position of Prime Minister. In addition, I will not also run as member of a new Philippine Parliament. So help me God."

(Signed)
Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo

(Signed - Witnesses)
Jose Miguel 'FG' Arroyo
Evangeline 'Luli' Arroyo (Bernas)
Juan Miguel 'Mikey' Arroyo
Diosdado 'Dato' Arroyo
Chief Justice Reynato Puno
Speaker Prospero Nograles
Comelec Chairman Jose Melo
Archbishop Paciano Aniceto
Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales
AFP Chief General Alexander Yano
US Ambassador Kristie Kenney

After all signatures have been duly affixed, copies should then be sent out by mail to all registered voters. A joint effort may be forged by Chairman Jose Melo/Comelec and Postmaster-General Hector Villanueva/PhilPost. Let the money from this project be drawn from the Intelligence Fund of the Office of the President. What do you think?

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

TODAY'S MERIENDA AT THE BATASAN CAFETERIA: LUGAW HEAVEN; GOTO HELL

I just received this news today. President Arroyo's puppies in the Batasan Pambansa will see to it that right after they amend our Constitution, they will immediately start working on amending the Bible. For a moment there, I was at a loss as to why a gang of dishonorable congressmen be interested in amending the Bible? Then I found out that they were only interested in amending the concept and reality of Hell as mentioned in the Holy Scriptures. They intend to abolish Hell before their respective terms expire here on Earth.

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

LAWBREAKERS IN DISGUISE AS LAWMAKERS

1. If PRO is the opposite of CON, what then is the opposite of PROgress?

2. Q: What is the difference between the Durian fruit in season and the Batasan Pambansa in session?

A: The PRICKS of the Durian fruit are outside.

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

ESPERON'S SLIP OF THE (FORKED) TONGUE

General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. had a slip of the tongue (his own forked tongue) this morning over at VP Noli de Castro's teleradyo show 'Para Sa'Yo Bayan' on DZMM when he said "if the constitution has to be changed for the MOA, so be it." So, the truth shall always come out. Now it can be told that the long-term reason for all these is their lustful desire for Charter Change - and to perpetuate President Gloria Arroyo to presidential power beyond 2010. Need we say more? On that note, the ARMM elections shall be taking place on Monday, August 11, and to this day, Virgilio Garcillano and Lintang Bedol are still at large and have yet to pay for the evils they have planted in Mindanao, having made dagdag-bawas a way of life there during election season.

(Image from http://www.filipino-music.com/)

SHAME ON YOU GENERAL ESPERON!

The only word I can think of to describe General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. is the word "Traitor." I knew it long before he was to be appointed as Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process - after his term as AFP Chief of Staff, that he would return to betray his country again. Again because he had betrayed already the AFP in the past with his political maneuverings, earning for himself the label 'Worst AFP Chief of Staff the Philippines ever had.' And so now, without proper consultation with the people of Mindanao, he eagerly pushes for the signing of a Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain(MOA-AD) between the Philippine Government and the MILF. When the Supreme Court issued a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) recently halting its inking between the two parties, the only concern Esperon had in mind was the embarrassment he would be feeling with his MILF and Malaysian counterparts led by Mohagher Iqbal, Rais Yatim and Datuk Othman bin Abdulrazak respectively, but he shows not even an iota of shame on the other hand to the Filipino people for a rotten deal such as this stepping-stone for Charter Change (to perpetuate GMA to power beyond 2010) in disguise as a MOA-AD. In an interview this morning over radio, North Cotabato Vice-Governor Manny Pinol said that Gen. Esperon had threatened him saying that "the AFP (soldiers) will not sacrifice their lives again if and when the MILF attacks your province." In effect, what Esperon was saying is that the AFP will not lift a finger when the MILF creates havoc in the area. With this MOA-AD, it will almost be certain that the Philippines will now be divided simply into the North Philippines and the South Philippines - South being Bangsamorostan, or better yet Bangsarroyostan. What would now prevent the MILF from setting up checkpoints all over the independent state and declare "no-fly zones" to prevent PAF helicopters and planes from flying above them? And by the way, what the heck is Indanan Mayor Alvarez Isnaji doing with the rest of the conspiracy led by General Jun Esperon, General Rudy Garcia and Secretary Jess Dureza? Shouldn't Isnaji be somehere else like a place called jail? This is what we get for appointing retired military officers to sensitive positions like "Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process." Jun Esperon is not a man of peace. He is a man of war, and war shall he have in his thick face in Mindanao when its civilian citizens start arming themselves to protect themselves, not to mention the ire we will be getting from the MNLF for this traitorousness.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

KA-SONA-NGALINGAN NA NAMAN!

So, it's that time of year again when lies shall be forced into our ears by no less than a lying president. On Monday, July 28, Gloria Arroyo's State Of The Nation Address (SONA) in the Batasan Pambansa will focus on her favorite reminder to us all - "Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran." Really?? Where? How? Ask anyone on the street (any street) about this and you'll surely get a similar reply - "Ramdam Ang Kahirapan!" Hence, I made up a few meanings of SONA.

1. Same Old News Again
2. Save Our Nation (from) Arroyo
3. (She) Screws Our Nation Always
4. Send OFWs No Assistance
5. Seven Out (of) Nine (despise) Arroyo
6. Stamp Out Now Arroyo
7. Sulpicio Owners' No Action
8. Show-Off, Numb, Arrogant
9. Same Old Nothing Again
10. Shame On (this) Nation's Administration
11. Same Old Nincompoops (in her) Administration
12. Sense Of Neuralgia After
13. Same Old Nematode (this) Arroyo
14. Same Old Nitwits (in her) Administration

Our Ship of State is the only ship in the world that leaks from the top. That's the real SONA.

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

IT COSTS SEVERAL BILLIONS FOR A SIMPLE LUNCH IN HARARE

Thanks to Zimbabwe's dictator Robert Mugabe, the exchange rate now for their currency there is 25 billion Zimbabwean Dollars to a US Dollar, or 40 Zimbabwean Dollars to a British Pound. A simple lunch there now costs literally billions of Zimbabwean dollars! For example: A double cheeseburger in Harare is ZWD 50 billion, add fries and a Coke to that equals to ZWD 80 billion. Currently, the 25 billion and 50 billion notes are the largest in circulation. This is so mind-boggling. Imagine how much money a Zimbabwean has to bring with him just to go to a grocery? Methinks Mugabe's days are numbered. Many Zimbabweans have been seeking refuge elsewhere fleeing from the claws of the dictator. Back here at home, I'm resigned to the sad fact that President Arroyo will be staying on until 2010 - and beyond. Watch them now as they renew calls for Charter Change. But if Arroyo follows the footsteps of Mugabe persecuting and punishing critics and killing journalists, with her fellow-economists screwing our banking system, our Philippine Peso could be just like the Zimbabwean dollar, God forbid. But for now, our peso is stronger as against the dollar, and could well be better if our government is dead serious on proper governance, beginning with our very own Bangko Sentral.

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

SONATAS DE GLORIA

In 2001 - She said she was fighting poverty with a four-point program: free enterprise, modernized agriculture, attention to the disadvantaged, high moral standards for government and society. Three little boys with their wishes written on paper boats sailed (kuno) all the way down the Pasig until she caught them (kuno) by the river alongside the palace and read them aloud before congress, exhibiting the tykes - Jason, Jomar and Erwin - as testimonies of her compassion.

In 2002 - She sounded like President Fidel Ramos, announcing "A strong republic, independent from class and sectoral interests, supported by a strong bureaucracy." "A strong republic takes care of its people," she said. "A strong republic is the bedrock of the victory we seek over poverty," she concluded. The oratory was slightly as impressive as her diction.

In 2003 - She was confident. "We should be at peace," she began, "but we war against terrorism, against corruption, against disease, against drugs..." There was not much to remember after that.

In 2004 - She orated about creating "jobs thru higher economic growth; eradicate corruption thru good governance, provide social justice and basic needs, enhance education and youth opportunity, boost power sufficiency and savings." The rhetoric was vintage classroom teacher, and she was the economic professor lecturing about the financial projections and expectations under her tutelage.

In 2005 - She suddenly enthused over Charter Change and emphasized how seriously it was needed to enable the country "to surmount the unprecedented challenges of the 21st century." The Garci scandal was still hovering over her pathetic "I am sorry" (kuno), and an impeachment debate was the soap opera entertainment of the day. She had to hold on to the urgency of changing the constitution. It was a tactical diversion. An emotional crutch and a Samurai sword alternately.

In 2006 - She was dwarfed (she's a black dwarf) by a background of a huge screen projecting an awesome power-point presentation on the 'super regions' of her creation. She talked about them collectively and singularly, "enhancing the competitive advntage of the natural configurations," whatever that meant. These were the North Luzon agri-business quadrangle, the Metro Luzon urban beltway, the region in Central Philippines, and Mindanao's power sources, with the entire country linked by "the cyber corridor." The superlatives were profuse, so were the applause for other "super" people in the audience she sorted out on cue. The audience was breathless at the revelation of the proposed infrastructure's magnitude. She fashioned "new heights" for the people's expectations.

In 2007 - We heard more of those super regions. Expectedly she concentrated on the progress of the work that was done and may still be on-going: roads, bridges, ports, airports, shipyards, ship-building facilities, billions of dollars in investments (kuno), and the cyber highway connecting the islands to her laptop.

2008 - She is well on her way - clearly, signs that she will be leaving us a legacy of illegitimacy, immorality, corruption, and the frequent "Filipino Last Policy" evident in her subservient business deals with foreign businesses.

(Image from http://www.geocities.com/metropolitanbacolod)