PINOYCCHIO

When talking to each other face to face, Gloria Arroyo and Ed Ermita have to step back a few inches, otherwise their noses would be touching each other. I say this because just like Pinnochio whose nose grows longer whenever he tells a lie, so do the noses of Gloria and Ed each time they go fibbing the public. And they did it again recently. First, GMA boasted of an available US$10 billion standby fund for the Asean region of which the Philippines would be one of its beneficiaries, in the event of another paralyzing Asian economic crisis. Gloria made public this alleged assistance courtesy of the World Bank (WB) and the Asian Development Bank (ADB), during the recent oath-taking of the newly-elected officers of the Union of Local Authorities of the Philippines (ULAP) right at the Heroes Hall in Malacanang Palace, hoping to strike a hero's pose herself as she made the announcement. But soon after, World Bank executive Jim Adams denied Gloria's boast and said that "committments for such funds were never discussed at the regional level," and that the discussions touched only on the manner of which the World Bank may help the country if and when the crisis spreads throughout the region. No such thing as US$10 billion. Perhaps, only Gloria's elongated ilong could have smelled the green backs even miles away? Then comes Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita, reacting (anticipating?) to the Supreme Court's decision of the botched Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain (MoA-AD) as unconstitutional. Ermita announced that it was a good thing that Gloria wasn't caught in the mess since there were items discussed by the GRP Panel and the MILF of which GMA wasn't in the know, sometimes even in disagreement. It was actually a washing of the hands on behalf of Gloria. It's hard to believe that GMA didn't know every intricate detail of the MoA-AD. I would even imagine that she wanted to be informed of the day-to-day, hour-by-hour developments of the discussions. And of course, as expected, the sour-graping arrogance of General Hermogenes Esperon Jr., the brainless brains behind the MoA-AD, co-conspirator of General Rodolfo Garcia, co-architect of the MoA-AD, declared on nationwide TV that the Supreme Court was wrong to rule that he committed grave abuse of discretion. This guy should be sent to the jungles of Malaysia instead and just hang out with an orangutan, but even that beautiful monkey will surely be bored with Esperon's intellect. He is a disgrace to the nation and to each country-loving patriotic Filipino.

(Image from http://farm2.static.flickr.com/)

IMPEACHMENT AND ILLEGITIMACY DON'T JIBE

There are many ways to remove a sitting (squatting) president, and impeaching one applies only if the subject was legitimately installed. That's why I don't buy the impeachment process. It's a way of recognizing GMA as the legitimate president, and that the power grab of 2001 was a constitutional process. At some point in our lives, we all thought it was. But the truth always comes out sooner or later. We have learned through the course of educating ourselves and the intricate legal factors involving GMA's ascending to the throne to be a plain and simple conspiracy between former Chief Justice Hilario Davide Jr. for the Supreme Court and General Angelo Reyes Jr. for the Armed Forces of the Philippines, and several members of the so-called civil society who are now the usual suspects impeaching Mrs. Arroyo. Are these the lessons we want to pass on to our children? That conspiracy amongst the so-called guardians of the constitution and the defenders of the people shall be forgotten and just be written in our history books for our next generation to read and relish? These are the very same faces we now see trying to remove Gloria from office, after conspiring with each other to remove Joseph Estrada from the same. If Gloria Arroyo grabbed power from a legitimate head of state in 2001, then the same power must also be grabbed from her in the same manner. Give them a dose of their own medicine, however bitter you would like it to be for the swallowing to be most unpleasant, for it only serves them right. The impeachment exercise is futile unless one has the numbers in the Lower House. Period. It's not so much a judicial process as it is a political one. In short, if Gloria has the major support of the pro-administration congressmen in the house, then, another failed impeachment is in the offing. The opposition should make up its mind first as to what course to take. They must choose wisely first and not be cry-babies just like Michael Jackson who once cried racism to his detractors. But shouldn't Michael pick a race first before complaining? Same with the opposition. Speak in one voice first before going to battle. There are many ways to skin a cat. We can start something preliminary by boycotting the products and services of the many business entities and firms known to be close to the present administration, as a percentage of their income somehow find their way into some open hands waiting in Malacanang, or to some noisy General to shut him up, or to some one-track minded journalist to encourage him further to praise even the most absurd programs of this administration. Remember the time when then President Cory Aquino called for the collective boycott of San Miguel Corporation and its various products? Well, it didn't exactly put a dent on SMC, but a strong and clear message was delivered. Today, it is common knowledge that the Pagcor is a milking cow of many VIPs in the administration and in the Media. As gambling is an outright evil, Pagcor sends a very dark message to the youth that community-based gambling is alright, since Pagcor operates a gambling joint almost always somewhere in one's neighborhood. Sad to say, even some priests and bishops support and defend gambling, as evidenced in a recent ground-breaking ceremony of one of Pagcor's future projects in Paranaque City. Even local parishes tolerate such, joining forces everytime they sponsor a bingo social. We need a change of heart to fight the immorality all around us. Government-sponsored immorality is the evil that smiles in front of you and then screws you when your back is turned. Maybe if we politely ask Gloria to resign, she may since her popularity rating is still in the negative. Maybe she will still hear the cries of the people for her to step down peacefully. But for a president who claims that she talks to God, and then does so in front of a mirror, well, even one's own reflection can be deceiving sometimes.

(Image from http://ctv.ca/)

LET THEM PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE

Our PNP's criminal activities have gone global. Not satisfied with the usual local criminal acts here in the Philippines, former top-gun PNP Comptroller General Eliseo Dela Paz and party (the police force's equivalent of the AFP's General Carlos Garcia), put our country in a very embarrassing situation when he was detained recently by airport authorities in Moscow, Russia, having been found carrying in his person 105,000 Euros, or the equivalent of roughly PhP 7 million. And this was already at the airport as they were on their way out, about to board a departing plane from Moscow, which means that they surely had much more money because they had already paid for hotel accomodations, meals, transportation, shopping etc. PNP apologists General Nicanor Bartolome and the ever-doubtful DILG Secretary Ronaldo Puno were quick to defend their boy when they said that the money found with General Dela Paz was simply a "contingency fund." Tell that to the marines boys! First and foremost, you have disobeyed your mama master's order to spend money like a true-blue Ilocano spends his money. Second, why have that much cash with you? Ever heard of the term credit card? You're supposed to be a law-abiding police officer whether here or abroad, and you should have checked first on the local Russian laws regarding your felon. Looks like it's another junket trip for a recently-retired police general's pabaon. The guilty parties should instead be playing Russian Roulette with a different version: 5 bullets loaded in a 6-shooter.

(Image from http://www.pia.gov.ph/)

SI RAUL O SI GONZALEZ? - PART II

I'm tired of Mr. Raul Gonzalez's dirty antics, and the time to teach him a lesson is now. Imagine, the arrogance when asked about the granting of freedom to Claudio 'Bobbins' Teehankee Jr., when he replied, "the granting of executive clemency is a judgment call on the part of the president, whether there is a basis or not makes no difference." While I tend to agree on the first sentence of his statement, I abhor the second. What would now stop the other inmates like former Mayor Antonio Sanchez from seeking the same? There must always be a basis however shallow that may seem. A Justice Secretary who proclaims that executive clemency is fine and dandy even without basis shouldn't be in the justice department at all. He should now be in some retirement home with a rusty orinola under his bed, teddy bear in tow, playing sudoku or solitaire. he should never have been Justice Secretary in the first place, for his appointment had nothing to do with his credentials. His appointment was a simple political gift for playing the role of attack-dog and Mr. Nasty for Gloria with the occasional game of "fetch" and "roll-over." So, while he's at it tail wagging and all, why not also play the game "play dead?" A Justice Secretary who adds salt to an open wound by addressing the eternal grief of the Hultmans calling them "hypocrites," and telling them to just "go jump in the lake" for simply reacting like any grief-stricken human being must be the first to jump in the lake - of fire. Hypocrites they certainly are not. They were simply reacting as a family who lost a dear teen-aged girl from the hands of a gunman. Any grieving mother or father would react similarly. But it sure takes a heartless, tactless and mindless man like Raul Gonzalez to keep on making insulting statements to the public, or to anyone who dares question the programs of his master's regime, and this is not the first time. He has done this to several people in the past. He obviously hasn't learned his lesson when he got really sick but recovered only to continue abusing his position and insulting people again with his side remarks. Time to repent Raul, or you won't be getting visitors soon in your sick-bed or retirement home, or shall I say - sanatorium?

(Image from http://www.gmanews.tv/)

SARAH PALIN AND GARAPALIN

With the US elections just around the corner, Americans will be choosing a new president and vice-president whose priority agenda is to hopefully catapult troubled American economy to a promising future, to say the least. Will they now be having a black man in the White House, or will it be the man who keeps saying, "Change Washington." Well, I find it hard to believe this from someone who's been there longer than the Lincoln Memorial. When it's about Senator Barack Obama, race is the issue. When it's Senator John McCain, age is the issue. And a lot of times, when it's about Governor Sarah Palin, gender is the issue. Back here at home, when it comes to Gloria Arroyo, aside from the issue on corruption, the other main issue about her is the illegitimacy issue, which to this day remains unresolved. I think it won't come now as a surprise for an African-American to shine amongst a still predominantly white America, but not for long. This phenomenon already happens in the PGA, the American golfing world. Whereas, 100 years ago, when 20 men were chasing a black man, that was the Ku Klux Klan. Today, when 20 men chase a black man, that's simply the PGA, with Tiger Woods always leading the pack. And what is to become of Condoleeza Rice, presently the US Secretary of State? Will Filipino-Americans still call her their paella negra or black paella? And what about Republican VP bet Sandra Palin? I think the difference between her and Gloria is this: The Republican vice-presidential bet is Sarah Palin, while the Lakas-Kampi presidential bet is garapalin.

(Image from http://foxnews.com/) & http://manilamaildc.net/)

IT'S THE ECONOMIST, STUPID!

The recent Global Hunger Report Index for the Philippines submitted by the International Food Policy Research Institute (IFPRI) puts our country as one among 34 nations as "nationally-starved" because of poverty. This is the reality, contrary to GMA's so-called successful anti-poverty, "bangkang papel" programs together with her tiny package for economic policies for nationwide development. Our brilliant economist turned chief executive insists that because of her economic programs, poverty and hunger figures have gone down. Our reply to Malacanang: More than the economy, it's the economist, stupid!

(Image from http://herald.com/)

TODAY'S MERIENDA AT THE BATASAN CAFETERIA: LUGAW HEAVEN; GOTO HELL

I just received this news today. President Arroyo's puppies in the Batasan Pambansa will see to it that right after they amend our Constitution, they will immediately start working on amending the Bible. For a moment there, I was at a loss as to why a gang of dishonorable congressmen be interested in amending the Bible? Then I found out that they were only interested in amending the concept and reality of Hell as mentioned in the Holy Scriptures. They intend to abolish Hell before their respective terms expire here on Earth.

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)