LONG LOST COUSINS?

Our friend Bono Adaza says that Senator Nene Pimentel is related to the late General Fabian Ver, AFP Chief of Staff under former President Ferdinand Marcos. Bono claims that Pimentel's mother comes from Batac, Ilocos Norte, Marcos' hometown and belongs to the Quilingquing family of that town. Now that explains why both gents somewhat look alike, wouldn't you agree?

(Image from http://bulatlat.com/ & http://members.aol.com/)

DRIVE DEFEN-SORELY!

The South Luzon Expressway (SLEx) under the watch of Maite Defensor of the Philippine National Construction Corporation (PNCC), (sister of Nickel-odious Mike Defensor) is in a mess. Talk about poor management. Motorists living in the south of Manila have to face this hell every single day upon reaching the Alabang overpass, as they drive or commute to work, and then return back to their homes. The engineering work is at a snail's pace and there aren't enough safety signs to warn drivers ahead of time of an impending obstruction. In short, when you're driving along the SLEx, drive at your own risk and make sure you say your prayers because you might just be an added entry in the PNCC/SLEx management's statistics on vehicular accidents occuring every single day and night due to their negligence and unsafe work habits, not to mention the astronomical toll fees each motorist has to cough up for 'safe passage' (kuno). It's plain and simple highway robbery, literally.

(Image from http://img182.imageshack.us)

THE REPUBLIC OF ILOKOSLOVAKIA

The Republic of Ilokoslovakia may someday soon become a reality. Ilocano leaders possibly led by Ferdinand 'Bongbong' Marcos Jr., Luis 'Chavit' Singson and Roque 'Roquito' Ablan Jr. are reported readying a manifesto for the creation of an Autonomous Ilocos Region (AIR) composed of Ilocos Norte, Ilocos Sur, La Union, Pangasinan and some other Ilocano provinces. One of its genuine ilocano (GI) leaders said that "if Mindanao and the Cordilleras can gain autonomy, there is no reason why we cannot do the same." And no, their flag will not depict a hammer and tobacco right next to a cup of bagoong and their clenched-fist salute does not mean they are holding tight to their pesos. At the rate our country is being dismembered, we will soon be a nation of dinuguan. Uh-oh, another MOA in the making?

(Image from http://freewebs.com/)

MANNY, MANNY, MANNY = MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!

The Games and Amusements Board (GAB) under the Office of the President (OP) has issued a joint statement on the forthcoming Pacquiao - de la Joya fight. it said that the boxing match could be a serious disadvantage for Pacquiao because of de la Joya's height and reach advantage, the latter being a bigger boxer. In essence, what the GAB was saying was that Pacquiao and his organizers should back out from this scheduled fight because Pacquiao could be seriously hurt from it. Manny's mindless fanatics led by sports commentators Ronnie Nathanielzs and Recah Trinidad and the equally self-serving Monico Puentevella of Bacolod were quick on the draw to claim that the GAB has absolutely no jurisdiction over the matter, and since the match is scheduled to take place outside the country. True, but methinks that when it comes to the safety and well-being of an athlete, especially if he/she is declared a "national treasure," jurisdiction and greed must be set aside for the meantime and for good respectively. But bogus Filipinos like Nathanielzs even said yesterday over DZBB and I quote: "Who is going to give Pacquiao $20 million for his family?" Say that again Ronnie? When is enough money enough then? Manny Pacquiao is already a walking Money Pakyaw! It sure all boils down now to plain and simple greed huh. Easy for you to say that because it ain't your thick face that's gonna get those punches, although many of us wish it was. Money, money, money. That's all you guys ever think of. Shame, shame, shame. In addition, Pacquiao has reiterated his lust for an elective position (again) possibly in 2010. Calling Darlene Antonino-Custodio, time to teach Manny a humbling lesson again, and while you're at it, could you please knock the teeth off from all his attack-dogs and "commissioners" in the fourth estate?

(Image from http://www.gab.gov.ph/)

THE PALACE BY THE PASIG

Malacanang Palace (or Malacanan if one would like to be historically and politically correct) was once upon a time second home to me having frequented its majestic stuctures and stature during the Marcos era. I found myself as a regular fixture there, visiting my father in his office straight from school which was just across the Pasig. This was also the era of Kokoy Romualdez, Johnny Tuvera, Jake Clave, Ernie Maceda and of course Celso Cabrera who wrote a frequent newspaper column entitled "Inside Malacanang," which featured the latest gossip right in the corridors of power. He too was a frequent visitor of my father. Cabrera knew stuff about President Marcos and the First Lady before anybody knew about it. If something had to be known and was front page material, Cabrera almost always scooped everyone to it, making his column a must read if one wanted to know the happenings right inside the palace. The Malacanang Clinic which was situated across (was it Arlegui?) is a memorable place for me for it was the place where my dreaded circumcision took place. I still remember vividly the man in white who performed the 'cutting-edge' procedure one summer morning. He had a kind face and was also kinder with his 'tools.' His name is Dr. Casanova. To this day, I still wonder what has become of him, for aside from him, I pretty much am aware of what has become of many of FM's lieutenants. Long before the Presidential Legislative Liaison Office (PLLO) was created, there was the Legislative Affairs Office (LAO) / Office of the Legislative Secretary (OLS) which my father headed. He was one of Marcos' longest straight-serving men having been the Legislative Secretary for 20 years (1966-1986) ending only at the height of the EDSA revolt. My father was such a low-key person to a fault that many had forgotten he was working there. And if there was one thing he was found guilty of as is the usual accusation to government officials, his was a simple but bizarre case of "unexplained poverty." As a curious young lad then, I always was fascinated with the huge portraits that hung on the walls of the palace. In one such occasion, I had the privilege to view each and every one of those portraits - imposing presidential portraits they were, which hang majestically to this day. All the portraits of past presidents hang there. Of these, one portrait is unique and differs from the rest because the man was never elected president, nor did he succeed as vice-president. The plaque right below it simply says, "President Jose P. Laurel." I was immediately intrigued by this seeming abnormality because, as far as I remembered my Philippine history at a tender age, Laurel indeed was never elected. I remembered then that Laurel was invited by the Japanese government to serve on the wartime Philippine Executive Commission during the Japanese Occupation. He held several posts on the Commission until he was shot on June 6, 1943 during a golf game with some of his colleagues. The failed assassin was probably an anti-Japanese guerilla, and Laurel recuperated quickly from his bullet wound and was offered the presidency of the Japanese-sponsored republic. He promptly accepted and was installed on October 14, 1943. He served as president from then on up until the American liberating forces returned in 1945, which prompted him to leave immediately for Tokyo. After the war, Laurel was indicted on more than 100 counts of treason and many believed he was just a little too comfy with the Japs. Laurel and Macapagal-Arroyo have one thing in common I suppose - and that both were never elected to the presidency. But that will be another post someday. And so, Malacanang will always be my 'Palace by the Pasig,' even long after the ghosts of yesterday's occupants tirelessly haunt its illegal occupant of today - the 'Squatter in the Palace' if I may. One last item though. If Malacanang is the Tagalog contraction to mean "there is a man of nobility there," or "may lakan diyan." shouldn't Malacanang now be called "Malocanang" meaning, "may loka diyan!"

(Image from http://wikimedia.org/)

STRONG INSTANT NOODLES REPUBLIC

We have become a society of instant noodles. An archipelago of egg noodles. A government that has carelessly muddled itself in the imbroglio of the recent rice crisis must put a stop to this unhealthy shift to an urgent solution to the alarming hunger and malnutrition situation in the country. Rice is, and should still be the staple food of the nation. The irony of it all is that while the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI) - the top honcho agency for rice research and development of the globe sits right here in our own backyard, we shamefully import rice from Vietnam, add to that Thailand, a country we taught everything about riceology now beats us in production and distribution. We have also trained our sights to a possible shift to Biofuels technology whereby we will be converting arable land or ricelands for planting biofuel crops. We don't have enough land to spare unlike other large biofuel efficient countries. We must first feed our nation before we feed our vehicles. But as usual, our so-called public servants in the DA and NFA would not prioritize solving this problem. Why? Well, they probably have other things in mind other than finding solutions to this one. Because of the high price of rice and the contrasting low price of instant noodles, an alarming number of Filipinos have shifted and are shifting to these toxic "pangtawid gutom" menu item. The long-term effects of these seemingly harmless strands of virtual vermicelli are very serious. Cancer, for example can be caused by frequent eating of these noodles. Retardation in young children are also caused by these culprits. High blood too is a regular outcome because of its high salt content, add to that the preservatives - not to mention the wax used by its manufacturers to prolong its shelf life. But once taken, the same wax shortens one's own self life. In a few years, the effects of these instant noodles menace shall be amongst a large chunk of the populace. IQs and rational thinking are the very first to go. If you ask me, I think its long-term effects are now showing in many of our senators and congressmen, government lawyers, judges and justices, cabinet members and generals. And oh, by the way, what do you call smuggled NFA rice when cooked to make rice-soup? Arroyo'z Caldo.

(Image from http://health-issue.org/)

PROSPERITY WITH A DARK PURPOSE - PART I

"Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well." - Proverbs 5:15

I am told of a church somewhere in Makati City's central business district, deep down in Bayani Fernando's wimpish, pinkish Metro Manila where its presbytery recently 'gave the boot' to their pastor for a number of serious reasons. My unimpeachable source tells me that even after numerous reminders to this wayward weasel, he has continued to walk towards the dark and away from the light. This pseudo-pastor loved getting inebriated with beer almost nightly in public places and sometimes in the privacy of his own home. Not satisfied with the numbing effect of the bottle, he goes on to take a special interest with one of its church members. A female I suppose. And only God knows how many more. Prosperity with a dark purpose from a pastor impostor? If you ask me, I think just these two items would be more than sufficient grounds to remove a pastor from the delicate responsibilities of caring for its sheep, him being their shepherd. But a shepherd who "slaughters" his very own sheep in the convenience of his own abattoir deserves to be in for the slaughter himself, especially if that poor little sheep is the most vulnerable in the drove, and one who bleats the most for affection. A so-called man of God who in reality is a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' deserves to be stripped off his cover, so to speak. He must be unmasked for his true colors to be revealed for all to see, not to mention the yellow streak that would show running down his spine. His un-virgin wool must be sheared off from his pachydermic epidermis and then given away to the cold and the contrite, not to the prosperous and the plentiful. Men like him are not fit to carry on preaching from the pulpit, for with it is the divine task of winning souls for God - and not the careless and selfish act of ushering souls to eternal damnation. Some say it's alright for a pastor to drink even every night and then go on to preach the next day, as long as he doesn't preach while intoxicated. Well, on that ignoramus idea, it's just like saying that it's alright for a leader of a church to gallivant and have affairs here and there and everywhere around Metro Manila, as long as he goes home to his wife every single night, right? Wrong! Imagine, this so-called man of God was even so arrogant to address one of his loyal church members who saw the light as "isang langaw lang siya sa buhay ko!" This member snapped back immediately saying, "kaya pala lagi ako dumidikit sa kanya, e kasi, saan ba mahilig dumapo ang langaw?!" And to those who blindly tolerate these actions, you too could be most answerable to God and are responsible for the necessary actions to take to stop this and uproot this wrongdoing once and for all, lest you carry on your tired old backs the heavy wrath of God. Further, I am told that this unrepentant person continues to this day to cast his 'net of deception' from his leaking 'boat of pretention.' He could very well be a 'poacher of lost souls' for his self-satisfaction and aggrandizement. A fisher of men who, in reality, is really just a plain old fisher of compliments - and God must be angry and pissed off at him! With this story shared to me, I am reminded of the great and incomparable Reverend Jimmy Swaggart, when he fell, he fell flat on his face for a similar sin. But he went on to try to restore himself in an orderly fashion and in one occasion, as he read Psalm 51 weepingly, repentantly before an equally emotional congregation, he asked forgiveness from both God and man. In a nutshell, Psalm 51 talks about the Psalmist David's repentance from the sins of pride and lust, among others. We all need to cry our heart's out to God Psalm 51 at some point in our lives, yet some people would rather skip it and jump to Psalm 52 straight from Psalm 50 and use it simply as opening scripture for Sunday church service. And so, this church I am told moves on towards the light, and away from the temporary darkness brought about by this 'angel of light,' with a sign on its door which says: "Wanted: A pastor who fights our battles with us, not a pastor who hides his bottles from us. A pastor with a genuine love for the ministry, not a pastor with a genuine lust for the miniskirt."

(Image from http://www.ensltd.com/)

GLORIA'S ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENCY IS A LEGITIMATE CURSE

Filipinos above a certain age remember the fifties and sixties as the "golden age of Philippine progress and development." The country led the rest of South-East Asia in scientific research, education, business, the arts, and the practice of democratic governance. Filipinos then exuded an air of confidence and a purpose befitting a people in control of their destiny with a bright future ahead of them. Contrast that image with today's reality as outlined by a fact which we quote in part below:

By her own admission, President Gloria Arroyo accurately assessed that "over the last decades, our (strong) Republic has become one of the weakest, steadily left behind by its progressive neighbors, and forty years ago, we were second only to Japan in economic stature, and way ahead of Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia and Thailand." At our present growth rate, it will take us some 30 years to get where Thailand is today. And by the year 2030, our children will experience far worse conditions than we have today:

1. A population of 160 million;
2. Of those, 70 to 90 million will live below the poverty line;
3. Our national debt is estimated to be US$ 200 billion (compared to US$ 28 billion when President Ferdinand Marcos fled the country in 1986, and US$ 72 billion today);
4. We will be competing, not against Thailand or even Vietnam, but against Bangladesh;
5. We will still be the most corrupt nation in Asia, if not the world.

The signs are very clear. For as long as Gloria Arroyo remains our President, our nation is headed towards an irreversible path of economic decline and moral decadence - contrary to what she and her economic snails are now reporting to the people.




(image from http://www.chinapost.com/)

HONORABLE CONGRESSMEN - A DYING BREED?

"How beautiful it is to do nothing and then rest afterwards." - Spanish Proverb

It always seems to many of us Filipinos that our legislators are always busy everyday tackling matters of national interest. Meetings here, meetings there. Well, that's not all entirely true. Truth is, many of these congressmen spend more hours talking about pork barrels, mistresses and golf. They also talk about the latest SUVs and interest rates, not to mention the latest color designs of Lacoste, which really is their brand of choice. I wonder, does that tiny crocodile on the shirt have a direct link to their lifestyle? Most of the time, we see them on our streets with flashy imports and gas-guzzling SUVs bullying their way through traffic sporting #8 plates. It will be a cold day in hell when I actually see a #8 vehicle obey a traffic light. So, lawbreakers in disguise as lawmakers? A congressman's normal life is a life of luxury and influence. He gets the best table in a restaurant, the best seat in a theatre, the best tickets to a concert and the best looking umbrella girl. He gets the first billing in a wedding invitation, which means that he is also one of the first VIPs to kiss the bride. When in a bank, he doesn't get to fall in line like the rest of us ordinary bank clients. He is a "preferred client," as BPI proudly advertises it. He gets the immediate attention of the bank manager, otherwise, he gets to deposit his millions to the bank next door. A congressman isn't subject to a body search whenever he enters a mall. He is saluted snappily by security guards on duty. He gets a steady supply of Viagra and Cialis from his personal physician, and always, the best room with the best view in a 5-star hotel. No wonder many make it a career in life to be a congressman, spending huge sums to buy votes and air time. To get elected no matter the cost, because when elected, can easily get back that money spent via pay-offs, bribes, kickbacks and of course - pork barrel! Oh, he also gets to be addressed as "Honorable." Of course, I find this very difficult to just swallow hook, line and sinker because most of the time, they do the exact opposite. And by the way, the only time they tell the truth is when they call each other "Liar."

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

NO WAY, EMEMDEE-EY!

It certainly makes private citizens like me suspicious, knowing that no less than MMDA Chairman Bayani 'BF' Fernando is the alleged owner of BF Steel Corporation, as mentioned by 'The Game' on the comment section of a previous similar post right here, and then at the same time embarks on an aggressive "ironization" of Metro Manila - constructing pink and blue footbridges here, pink and blue footbridges there, pink fences here, pink fences there - and those ghastly looking male urinals that even 'askals' would not dare use to do their thing, not to mention those Toblerone-like killer concrete barriers which, to this day all remain unlit and have maimed and killed a number of motorists under the watch of a presidentiable wannabe who believes so much in himself thinking that Marikina is Metro-Manila, and Metro-Manila is the Philippines. I smell some kind of a conflict of interest here somehow. Does the MMDA bid out its "ironization projects," or are they automatically awarded to the BF Steel Corporation? Can the MMDA please be transparent on this thing since it involves no less than hard-earned taxpayers' money? By the way, while those steel footbridges may be good to many pedestrians concerning their safety, it ain't so totally safe since they're so slippery and dangerous to its users during and after the rains because of its flat and smooth surface, and most especially to the elderly and the infirm. It's hard to believe that a guy like BF, who thinks of the beautification (many call it 'uglification') of Metro-Manila would not prioritize safety, and it sure is not on top of his list. He would prioritize his posters all over the thoroughfares like EDSA, BAYANI stickers on buses and "guwapito-guwapo ads" on LRT trains, but never on safety. Unlit concrete barriers, slippery steel footbridges, askal-unfriendly male urinals, arrogant kotong MMDA blue boys, idiotic slogans and silly color combinations that even Liberace, German Moreno or Mike Velarde would not approve. That's today's MMDA for you. So, is the Philippines ready for a Bayani Fernando presidency? And what, a pink Malacanang Palace? No way, Ememdee-ey!

(Image from http://wikimedia.org/)

IT'S PAYBACK TIME ONCE AGAIN (PART 2)

So, it's payback time once again for some (and soon for all) of the losing Team Unity bets. Paid recently were former Senator and lifetime comedian Tito Sotto to the Dangerous Drugs Board (DDB); former Senator Ralph Recto (aka Mr. Santos) to the National Economic Development Authority (NEDA); former Presidential Chief of Staff and Congressman Mike Defensor, who recently bagged the Nickel in Beijing at the same time that the rest of the international athletes were dying for the Gold - Mike settles so happily for the Nickel with no less than President Gloria Arroyo in attendance to witness the contract signing; former printing machine salesman and Congressman Prospero 'Butch' Pichay (itanim sa senado, o ibaon sa lupa?) to the Local Water Utilities Administration (LWUA); and quite recently, former Ilocos Sur Governor/whistle-blower/Erap nemesis/Pacquiao patron - Luis 'Chavit' Singson as Deputy National Security Adviser (DNSA). Methinks Sotto should just continue recording 'Laff Hits' with brother Vic and celebrity comedian Joey de Leon, while Recto should redeem himself from the nomenclature "Ang Rectong 'Di Claro," while Defensor should explain how a losing company like GeoGrace can bag a multi-million dollar Nickel project from China. As for Pichay, shouldn't he just return to selling printing machines? After all, elections are just around the corner, and he sure could corner a lot of sales both from government and private businesses. And last but not least, Singson - well, he does have many friends and connections both in the intelligence community and in the unintelligent community. Unlike the rest who are more of a liability to GMA than an asset, Singson might just deliver the goods to the government, so to speak. He is a deep-rooted politician and well-connected, contrary to his superior NSA Norberto Gonzales, whose only known connection is with the executives who signed with him the forgotten Venable Contract with government. More rewards are coming soon. Forget the Civil Service Commission. Forget the career executives in government. When Gloria pays back a political debt, she certainly overpays!

(Image from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/ & http://www.boholchronicle.com/)

GMA'S NATIONWIDE PROGRAMS

The Social Weather Stations (SWS) and Pulse Asia recently conducted a survey on GMA. It was discovered that Pinoys are generally happy and satisfied with GMA's nationwide programs. When asked what program they like and approve the most, majority of respondents replied: 'DYESEBEL.'

(Image from http://cdn4.wn.com/)

ANO BA 'YAN KABAYAN!

Unknown to many, surveys top-ranker Vice-President Noli de Castro is a compleat author of books, and many think he is ripe for the presidency. He recently published a science book for our high school students entitled, "Toxic Gases From Your Anus" ( he should have spelled it 'Uranus'). So, does he get your vote in 2010? I thought so. P.S. This is only a joke.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

PGMA STAMPS RECALLED!

The Philippine Postal Authority (PhilPost) recently ordered the recall of all newly-circulated President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo/Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran stamps. Why? Postal employees discovered that a majority of Pinoys who buy them were putting their SPIT on the wrong side of the stamps!

(Image from http://farm4.static.flickr.com/)

CHAMP WITH CHIZ

Since Manny Pacquiao's ultimate dream is to be in politics and an elected official (thank God he wasn't appointed DENR Usec by Litong-Lito Atienza), and since Senator Francis Escudero is a mighty contender for the vice-presidency, may I then suggest this early for fastfood giant Jollibee Foods Corporation (JFC) to sign up a contract with them for a Pacquiao/Escudero - President/Vice-President tandem for 2010 - and with that, may I further suggest that Jollibee adopt the campaign slogan: "I LIKE CHAMP WITH CHIZ FOR 2010!"

(Image from http://www.philgift.com/)

LAWBREAKERS IN DISGUISE AS LAWMAKERS

1. If PRO is the opposite of CON, what then is the opposite of PROgress?

2. Q: What is the difference between the Durian fruit in season and the Batasan Pambansa in session?

A: The PRICKS of the Durian fruit are outside.

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

GLORIA'S CONVERSATION WITH GOD

Gloria Arroyo dies and goes to Heaven. (really??) There, she receives a tremendous ovation. Millions of angels sing and praise her. She is given a crown and put on a great throne. Looking around, she is surprised to notice that her crown and throne are bigger than God's. Even she is unprepared for this. "How come?" she asks God. "You are greater than I," says God respectfully. "I gave the Filipino people one day of fasting a week. You gave them seven. I gave them hope, but you took it away!"

(Image from http://www.wisehearts2.com/)

CHRISTIAN NATION, CORRUPT NATION, PRESENT ADMINISTRATION = DAMNATION

While looking at some old clippings of past columns of my father, I found this piece of comment he had written in 2000 which has something to do with our boastful claim that we are "the only Christian nation in Asia." If that were so, how is it that we are also the most if not one of the most corrupt in the region? I think it has also something to do with the reality that we are surrounded by too much religion and yet too little respect for each other.

"Philippine authorities may also seriously consider warnings that it is not wise to be smug in the thought that the Philippines is the only Christian country in Asia and could expect full and unconditional support from western Christian nations. These officials have been told to look at the situation as one where the Philippines is a Christian island in an Islamic and Buddhist sea." - Ariel Bocobo, 'Like It Is,' Manila Standard May 31, 2000

(Image from http://www.bahaykuboresearch.net/)

FROM ARGENTINA'S EVITA TO THE PHILIPPINES' EVITAY

The Philippine Center for Theatre and the Performing Arts (PCTPA) will soon be opening its studios for auditions for their planned musical which will feature the political life and times of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. The musical, which promises to be a hit and an overnight success will be appropriately entitled, "EVITAY!"

(Images from http://www.argentour.com/ & http://www.nndb.com/)

A LISTENING PRESIDENT - WHO'S DEAF

Lying is a cottage industry these days in Malacanang. Newly-appointed Press Secretary Jess Dureza told radio listeners recently that President Arroyo is "a listening president." Really now. Is she "a listening president" when she keeps ignoring the nation's call for her to step down? Is she "a listening president" when she keeps re-appointing public officials who do not pass or who are by-passed by the Commission on Appointments (CA)? Is she "a listening president" when she keeps travelling with an expensive and a large entourage including nannies of her grandchildren? Is she "a listening president" each time she re-appoints a retired general to a sensitive top government position? Is the word "retired" so difficult for her to understand? Is she "a listening president" each time she ignores public clamor for the firing of GSIS' Winston Garcia? Is she "a listening president" each time her numerous attempts at Charter Change is rejected by the Filipino people? We are reminded of former Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir Mohammad when he said it so clear, "When you have a leader who is totally insensitive and refuses to accept realities, then you have a problem." Just for once, can she now be "a listening president" for us all and serve another term not in office - but in jail?

(Image from http://news.bbc.co.uk/)

BF CONSULTS MADAME AURING

Bayani Fernando is known to frequent astrologers, soothsayers and others of that ilk. One day, he visits Madame Auring and asks her, "What day will I die?" After carefully looking at BF's charts, she declares, "You will die on Metro-Vendors' Holiday." Much perturbed, BF demands, "Which one?" "I don't know," replies the multi face-lifted madame. BF becomes very angry, "You must know!" he shouts, "I insist upon the truth!" "I don't know," persists Madame Auring, "because any day you die will be a Metro-Vendors' Holiday!"

(Images from http://www.pep.ph/ & http://www.mukamo.com/)

BLACK-BELTER BLACK DWARF

While she was in China for the opening ceremonies of the recently concluded 2008 Beijing Olympics, President Gloria Arroyo had a chance meeting with celebrity Hong Kong film director John Woo. Mr. Woo was so impressed with the athletic fanaticism and natural acting prowess of President Arroyo that he offered her on the spot to star in his next cartoon film entitled, KUNG-FU PANDAK.

(Image from http://www.superstock.com/)

THREE UNWELCOME GUESTS IN THE PALACE

It takes a thief ... to spot another one. Amazing how one can still manage to pass thru hi-tech security cameras and state-of-the-art motion detectors, not to mention the malnourished Belgian Malinois K9s and the robotic PSGs around Malacanang Palace. On one such quiet night, a thief managed to break into the palace kitchen, thereupon bumping unexpectedly into the first couple who were having a late night cup of coffee each and some left-over buko pie. Simultaneously, as the partners-in-crime froze surprised, the thief upon seeing them eyeball-to-eyeball, panicked and ran away screaming, "MAGNANAKAW!! MAGNANAKAAW!!!"

(Image from http://hulu.com/)

REMEMBERING MR. UNITED NATIONS

When the design for the UN flag was subject for approval by its member-nations, General Carlos P. Romulo (head of the UN General Assembly and the UN Security Council) pointed out a grand objection. The Philippines had been scratched out from the map of the world on the proposed flag. The artist explained that the omission was unavoidable, for he said it was no longer possible to include the Philippines on a world map bearing the size of a tablecloth. But the tiny man with a huge stature refused to listen at all to any and all excuses. Raising to his full height, the diminutive Tarlaqueno demanded: "I don't care how you do it, just put my country on that flag!"
Today, we have a different mutant-breed of generals (General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. and General Rodolfo Garcia) who would rather see our country in halves, possibly split into North Philippines and South Philippines. Thanks to their utter lack for love of country and absolute plenty for love of self interests, the present fighting taking place in Mindanao is due to their insistence on the Memorandum of Agreement (MoA) between the GRP panel and the MILF chieftains. At times like these, how we wish we had the likes of General Romulo who loved his country with passion and determination to keep it united under one flag. Thank you General Romulo!

(Image form http://www.medaloffreedom.com/)

A BROWN PASIG AND A POLYNESIAN SHIRT

I think we ought to already have a separate and independent Department of Conservation or an Environmental Protection Agency just like the powerful EPA in the US, whose main task is to identify and punish the enemies of the environment and polluters like the factories by the Pasig, unlike the present DENR whose chief executive does a better job posing as a leech right next to a boxing champ, and a participant in the "abduction" of a whistle-blower at the airport. Thanks to the so-called "environment watchdogs," we now have a Brown Pasig as Europe has its Blue Danube and China its Yellow River.

(Image from http://www.daylife.com/)

'TROJAN' - THE OFFICIAL SEAL

At the rate this present administration bungles on every issue it puts its hands on, the official seal of Malacanang today should be just a simple condom. Why? Because a condom allows inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects and covers-up for a bunch of pricks in government and in business, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed!

(Image from http://cpyu.org/)

IMELDA THE BEAUTIFUL / GLORIA THE VILE

Packaging is everything. When Gloria's apologists keep boasting of their master's achievements as a top-gun economist, and yet our economy is in the doldrums, that's wrong management of our investments. There's really only so much that the world economy can do to inflict damage in our country, for as it is we are on our own at the end of the day, and we can really do better even without those MOUs and MOAs. When Lorelei Fajardo, Anthony Golez, Jess Dureza and Ed Ermita and even my favorite flunkie Cerge Remonde keep saying that their master isn't bothered at all with her dismal acceptance ratings, and yet with Gloria's 24/7 tongue-lashing at them, they go on working late hours in the Palace to spin a weave of a miracle to improve her image, and then we see all over huge posters saying "Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran," and yet we have become a society of instant noodles with the high prices of food and commodities, they sure have packaged her in a very poor way, for the truth is "Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran" is really "Ramdam Ang Kahirapan." Take the case of former First Lady Imelda Marcos. In her campaign for the presidency of the country years ago, she tried appealing to the poor. At a rally in Manila, she told several thousand impoverished followers, "I am a squatter like you too." Then she climbed into her air-conditioned stretch Mercedes-Benz and returned to her $2,000 a day hotel suite. Now, that's another bad way to package a candidate, isn't it? And guess what? The approach didn't work. So, Mrs. Marcos' next tactic was to claim that the foundation of President Marcos' wealth was simply good fortune - he stumbled upon a vast horde of gold hidden by Japanese soldiers when they occupied the Philippines in World War 2. The First Lady added further that President Marcos had generously sold much of the gold to help the Philippines through difficult economic times in the 60s and 70s. Well, subsequent Philippine regimes didn't do any bit better. In fact, it is at its worst today! Previous administrations countered that the Marcoses accumulated their fortune through embezzlement and kickbacks, which in comparison with today's crooks in Malacananang, is mere loose-change. So, whether it be a MOU in China or a MOA in Malaysia, it all boils down to one thing - the people are the losers again.

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GLORIA DISQUALIFIED IN CONTEST

Beijing authorities were voting on "the most corrupt head of state in attendance" in the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Just when President Arroyo was to win the contest hands down, one Chinese old guard moved to disqualify GMA. The reason? The contest was open only for amateur crooks and not for professionals.

(Image from http://pcij.org/)

ESPERON'S SLIP OF THE (FORKED) TONGUE

General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. had a slip of the tongue (his own forked tongue) this morning over at VP Noli de Castro's teleradyo show 'Para Sa'Yo Bayan' on DZMM when he said "if the constitution has to be changed for the MOA, so be it." So, the truth shall always come out. Now it can be told that the long-term reason for all these is their lustful desire for Charter Change - and to perpetuate President Gloria Arroyo to presidential power beyond 2010. Need we say more? On that note, the ARMM elections shall be taking place on Monday, August 11, and to this day, Virgilio Garcillano and Lintang Bedol are still at large and have yet to pay for the evils they have planted in Mindanao, having made dagdag-bawas a way of life there during election season.

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MIKE DEFENSOR BAGS THE NICKEL IN BEIJING!

Congats sa ating mga athletes (foot) Gloria Arroyo and Mike Defensor! 'Di pa man tayo makakuha ng Gold sa Beijing Olympics, nasungkit naman nila ang NICKEL sa pamamagitan ng isang Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) between Manila and Beijing for a Nickel mining contract. GMA flew to Beijing the other day to witness the signing of this MOU, and of course to watch the Olympics. Maging mala ZTE na naman kaya ito? With Gloria and Mike Defensor involved, something fishy sure is in the offing again.

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SHAME ON YOU GENERAL ESPERON!

The only word I can think of to describe General Hermogenes Esperon Jr. is the word "Traitor." I knew it long before he was to be appointed as Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process - after his term as AFP Chief of Staff, that he would return to betray his country again. Again because he had betrayed already the AFP in the past with his political maneuverings, earning for himself the label 'Worst AFP Chief of Staff the Philippines ever had.' And so now, without proper consultation with the people of Mindanao, he eagerly pushes for the signing of a Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain(MOA-AD) between the Philippine Government and the MILF. When the Supreme Court issued a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) recently halting its inking between the two parties, the only concern Esperon had in mind was the embarrassment he would be feeling with his MILF and Malaysian counterparts led by Mohagher Iqbal, Rais Yatim and Datuk Othman bin Abdulrazak respectively, but he shows not even an iota of shame on the other hand to the Filipino people for a rotten deal such as this stepping-stone for Charter Change (to perpetuate GMA to power beyond 2010) in disguise as a MOA-AD. In an interview this morning over radio, North Cotabato Vice-Governor Manny Pinol said that Gen. Esperon had threatened him saying that "the AFP (soldiers) will not sacrifice their lives again if and when the MILF attacks your province." In effect, what Esperon was saying is that the AFP will not lift a finger when the MILF creates havoc in the area. With this MOA-AD, it will almost be certain that the Philippines will now be divided simply into the North Philippines and the South Philippines - South being Bangsamorostan, or better yet Bangsarroyostan. What would now prevent the MILF from setting up checkpoints all over the independent state and declare "no-fly zones" to prevent PAF helicopters and planes from flying above them? And by the way, what the heck is Indanan Mayor Alvarez Isnaji doing with the rest of the conspiracy led by General Jun Esperon, General Rudy Garcia and Secretary Jess Dureza? Shouldn't Isnaji be somehere else like a place called jail? This is what we get for appointing retired military officers to sensitive positions like "Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process." Jun Esperon is not a man of peace. He is a man of war, and war shall he have in his thick face in Mindanao when its civilian citizens start arming themselves to protect themselves, not to mention the ire we will be getting from the MNLF for this traitorousness.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

OF SUBSIDIES AND SPIN-DOCTORS

While this administration gives away P500 subsidies to the poor, it also gives away P500 thousand "subsidies" to mayors and governors, P50 million to congressmen, and $500 million to Northrail. To top it all, guess to which family a P5 billion "subsidy" was alloted to? On that note, President Arroyo is now so far the only president who is disliked and distrusted by a huge majority of the country's population. Is it a surprise why? Malacanang keeps blaming everyone else for this except themselves and its illegal occupant. They keep saying that the president isn't concerned at all with her dismal acceptance and trust ratings, and yet her spin-doctors, on her nagging orders work overtime each day trying their best at damage control. In a sense, it's like performing a heart by-pass to a patient who already died of a massive cardiac arrest weeks ago.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

TUASON-ARROYO AND SHELL PHILIPPINES INC.

With the almost daily increase in fuel prices in our country, I wonder what President Gloria Arroyo's spin-quack-doctors Lorelei Fajardo and Anthony Golez (and now Jess Dureza) think of the fact that the Tuason-Arroyo family are major stockholders of Shell Philippines Inc. I guess that would also include FG Mike Arroyo's counsel Atty. Ruy Rondain - what do they think of this? Is it at all a conflict of interest or what?

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WHY HER RATING KEEPS DROPPING

Is it still a surprise to Malacanang why again President Gloria Arroyo's popularity and acceptance rating has now dropped further to an all-time low? Some of the reasons are as follows:

1. GMA flies to the US with a colossal entourage of 57 (un-named) congressmen, 1 senator, 10 cabinet members, and a hundred plus more government officials and security personnel, including the Macapagal-Arroyo family costing P75 million of taxpayers' money.

2. She continues to reward Romulo Neri - with a new appointment as President and CEO of SSS.

3. Instead of proceeding to typhoon-damaged provinces like Iloilo, Romblon and Aklan, she goes instead to Baler, Digos, Aurora and Davao del Sur for political meetings.

4. She refuses to give in to public clamor for the scrapping of the VAT on food and oil.

5. With millions of Filipinos suffering and dying of hunger, she attends an affair at the World Trade Center (WTC) flaunting $20,000 worth of pearl earrings and a necklace with a matching $3,000 dress.

6. The NFA continues to import rice at a very high price - 600,000 metric tons of rice was bought at $940 per metric ton when the going price is $790 per metric ton.

7. She and her family members and her cabinet men continue to use gas-guzzling 8-cylinder Expeditions, Escalades and Mercedes-Benzes (she uses a 12-cylinder Mercedes) and luxury SUVs tailed by the usual convoy of equally gas-guzzling back-up vehicles.

8. When Typhoon Frank hit the country, instead of cutting short her US trip, and after meeting with President George Bush on day 3 of her visit, she continued to make less important trips rather than coming back home immediately to be with the people.

9. She continues to utilize spokespersons and apologists who say nothing on TV but lies, lies and more lies.

10. To this day, she still refuses to address the illegitimacy issue hounding her presidency.

(Image from http://www.ctv.ca)

CHEAP SEATS BUT THEY DON'T EXIST

Philippine Air Lines, Cebu Pacific, Asian Spirit and Air Philippines have been fooling for some time now the public each time they advertise cheap fares. It really is nothing but a big joke and a dirty scheme to mislead us. When you call, they ALWAYS tell you that the cheap seats are all sold out, which then the person on the other end of the line starts to offer you higher fares. The Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) should immediately stop this advertising scam, unless of course many of those cheaper seats are reserved for the big shots in government?

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FIFTY CENTAVOS PER TEXT MY FOOT!

President Gloria Arroyo dies, and as expected, goes straight to hell. There, she asks Satan if she could borrow his cellphone to send text messages to the 'first family,' anyway, thanks to her effort daw, fifty centavos na lang per text. Satan replies: "Ay anak, pag demon to demons and vice-versa, libre ang text!

(Image from http://www.chinadaily.com/)

THE STRENGTH OF A TRUE LEADER

Gloria Arroyo's apologists like Eduardo Ermita, Lorelei Fajardo and Anthony Golez keep on saying that their boss would "rather be right than popular." Fine. But even right, from the eyes of the citizenry she ain't. As confirmed from recent survey results on how the Filipino people view her as "their president," it speaks well from where her strength (or weakness) arises. Perhaps, it is as she wants it to be, not as the people feel her to be. To me, the strength of a true leader lies in a relationship: that is defined as the political bond between the leader and the led. The strength of a true leader lies in an investment of goodwill and compassion for the people. The strength of a true leader mirrors the social and moral conditions of the masses. The strength of a true leader comes from the dynamics of the working class and the peasants participating in the struggle of building a nation together. The strength of a true leader is in the collective identity of the citizens expressed by the eloquence of the heart and not the fine choice of words - as in the speech Gloria Arroyo delivered in yesterday's SONA. The strength of a true leader lies not in turning "the misfortunes of the masses into a joyous pageant." We witnessed the state of the nation from a leader who speaks of her strength alongside that of our country, but the programs of her pseudo-reign must have the countenance of a human face, else they cannot stand alone as the sole objects of our national destiny, nor of our shared strength. The strength of a true leader is in telling to the whole nation the true state of it. Yesterday's SONA was fiction with a touch of tragedy whose main characters are Gloria Arroyo and her cabal of self-serving lawbreakers in disguise as lawmakers in the House.

(Image form http://daylife.com/)

BOY NOGRALES' OVERPRICED KUBETAS AT THE BATASAN / CERGE REMONDE'S ELONGATED ILONG

Presidential Management Staff (PMS) head Secretary Cerge Remonde lied on national TV before the Filipino people when he said that President Gloria Arroyo will not be "making bola" on her 8th State Of The Nation Address (SONA). Indeed, nakakahawa na talaga ang pagsisinungaling sa Malacanang. On the other hand, Speaker Boy Nograles defended the beautification project of the Batasan Pambansa which cost taxpayers' money some PhP90 million. That much just to please one power-grabbing president? If it costs PhP700 thousand to refurbish each toilet in the Batasan, can you imagine how many toilets that amount could build for our public schools around the country, whose ratio is one toilet for every two thousand pupils? No wonder the PNP surrounded the Batasan today for GMA's SONA, that's because a majority of the criminals in our country were inside Congress today with their expensive jewellery and barongs. What twisted characters these people are. We really are a bunch of show-offs, and when it comes to pagalingan and pahabaan, 'di tayo patatalo. Imagine, we make a big deal of priding ourselves of having the longest puto bumbong, the longest Banana Q, the largest bibingka and the biggest boodle fight. How about the longest list of Pinoy congressmen and women with US green cards, or the longest list of lies by a sitting president?

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INCH BY INCH, FIB BY FIB

The trouble with women like Gloria is: you give them an INCH, and they think they're the RULER.

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SONA - SAME OLD NOTHING AGAIN

Gloria's State Of The Nation Address (SONA) is a ritual that coincides with the opening of Congress. A lot of preparation has gone to the speech (thanks to AIM Professor Gary B. Olivar), not to mention the collateral fuss that the whole government structure underwent for the occasion - overspending taxpayer's money for the Batasan and its surroundings (thanks to Speaker Boy Nograles), securing the place and the roads that lead there, printing invitations and programs, installing a new set of microphones, tapes, CDs, flags, lights, plants, drinks, finger food, light dinner at the lounge, haute couture for the lady (and the not so lady) representatives, signature suits for the men (and the not so men) representatives, and a host of other details and expenses for a one-hour, lie-filled speech. Only those with invitations are allowed entrance to the hall and galleries. The rest of the nation for whom the address is being made are expected to watch the televised broadcast in their homes or offices, or wherever they may be at the time of delivery and are advised to take two (2) tablets of antacid before listening to Gloria's Sonatas de Kasinungalingan, or they may watch the replay before retiring to bed at night. Last year, the SWS gave GMA a negative rating in the urban centers, but a slightly higher average rating in the provinces although still in the negative too. Why is this so? Has she not worked hard enough to make the citizenry feel that her super-projects are already part of the legacy she has spoken of? A bankrupt legacy perhaps. Are not these super- projects for the super- regions super enough to have the people feel superiorly taken care of? There are lessons in history one reads about regarding the leader who does not encourage the people to be part of whatever the government is doing with them. Participation, initiative (not inis sa thief) and responsibility - these are the key elements if one is to spur the people to development. Everything the president has talked about lies (lies!) in the balance between the forward motion of her projects and the participation, initiative and responsibility coming from the mass base. If these are not elicited from the people, the recited list of infrastructure would remain simply as cold as steel, iron and cement, while the individual citizen remains equally as cold and detached. If such a relationship between the leader and the people has not been established, or has been falsified, all these super-projects would self-extinguish in the consciousness of the masses. If she is not able to "awaken the imagination of her audience," hence the oratorical delivery of the SONA would be for naught. And I expect it to be just that on Monday's SONA.

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MORE NURSES - BUT WHERE TO?

Last year, some 60,000 nurses graduated from various nursing schools all over the country. Recently, that number probably rose even higher with more new nurses again as the US is now experiencing an over-supply of nurses, and so, where do they go to find employment? They go to spas, call centers and banks while awaiting their much-needed employment overseas - US, UK and Canada in particular. And what is government doing about this? Nothing. Just like our OFWs, our nurses boost the economy via their remittances to their families here - at the same time our beloved government officials and top military officers salt dollars outside the country.

(Image from http://daylife.com/)

BOXUS ET LEXUS

My unimpeachable source tells me that boxing great Manny Pacquiao purchased last year the Lexus club along Timog avenue in Quezon City to the tune of PhP35 million. Having done this away from the usual publicity and fanfare, I wonder what giant NIKE (International) thinks about this - with Manny having signed a US$20 million product endorsement contract with them, on condition that he behaves like a good little innocent altar boy, staying away from cigarets, alcohol and gambling such as sabong and casinos, and of course from prostitution joints posing as entertainment theatres and health clubs - like Lexus, and for a guy who shows care for our environment, he surely will be taking good care of the wildlife in Quezon City. I wonder, will former Bayanihan dancer Lito Atienza be doing a macho dance number when the night club reopens under its new management?

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

RP BIGGEST RICE IMPORTER

Isn't it ironic that we are now the biggest importer of rice, and yet the center for 'riceology' - the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI), is right here in our country? Now what could have gone wrong here?

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METRO GAGO / TAO GINAGO

Is our favorite public servant Fernandong 'Di Bayani pulling a fast one on us, with his sights trained at 2010? I ask this question because just as we woke up one day staring at his despicable pictures on posters all over EDSA, there seems to be another sneaky attempt at name recall of him on buses plying the avenue. Notice how many of these buses sport an elongated poster on its dashboard by the driver's side just behind the windshield with the name 'BAYANI,' and with a matching Philippine flag on the left side. Are those his posters? If they are, then what a shame. How about the posters inside the LRT-3 coaches that says, "Metro Gwapito in 2008 - Metro Gwapo in 2010" Bayani is really trying every trick in his filthy book to remind citizens and commuters that he wants to be president in 2010. So, what better way than to take advantage of the public transport system to support him. If Mr. Fernando can't play fair from where he is today, how much (or less) fair play do you think he would inject just to perpetuate him to power if and when he becomes president? Can you even imagine him painting every building pink, Malacanang Palace included? For a guy whose ego is bigger than his brains, he's better off serving as a Marikina kagawad. This guy doesn't get my vote. Tear down those posters and those elongated BAYANI posters on those buses. Shame on Bayani Fernando!

(Image from http://bambit.kusangpalo.com/)

KA-SONA-NGALINGAN NA NAMAN!

So, it's that time of year again when lies shall be forced into our ears by no less than a lying president. On Monday, July 28, Gloria Arroyo's State Of The Nation Address (SONA) in the Batasan Pambansa will focus on her favorite reminder to us all - "Ramdam Ang Kaunlaran." Really?? Where? How? Ask anyone on the street (any street) about this and you'll surely get a similar reply - "Ramdam Ang Kahirapan!" Hence, I made up a few meanings of SONA.

1. Same Old News Again
2. Save Our Nation (from) Arroyo
3. (She) Screws Our Nation Always
4. Send OFWs No Assistance
5. Seven Out (of) Nine (despise) Arroyo
6. Stamp Out Now Arroyo
7. Sulpicio Owners' No Action
8. Show-Off, Numb, Arrogant
9. Same Old Nothing Again
10. Shame On (this) Nation's Administration
11. Same Old Nincompoops (in her) Administration
12. Sense Of Neuralgia After
13. Same Old Nematode (this) Arroyo
14. Same Old Nitwits (in her) Administration

Our Ship of State is the only ship in the world that leaks from the top. That's the real SONA.

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)