Saturday, October 11, 2008


The picture above is our country's first ever senate assembly with real honorable senators in attendance. Today, with a number of senators gearing up to evolve into presidential timber status but making a mockery of the elected positions they now occupy, mud-slinging, silly antics and all just to gain media mileage in preparation for the 2010 presidential race, one senator will probably still get my vote if and when he runs for president, except for the unfortunate and inescapable reality that his present girlfriend of old could be first lady if and when he wins - for a spouse must be gracious, likeable, well-mannered and humble in all her achievements in life. She definitely has "K," for 'kapal.' I am pertaining to Mr. Palengke himself, Senator Mar Roxas whose organization recruited me in 2004 to head his media bureau when he first ran for the Senate, up until some baduy and bad advertising advertising agency got in the picture and grabbed all the credit. Mar won hands down and even topped that contest. I must admit that I was quite impressed with Mar's data infobank, a rich compilation of anything and everything one needs to know about the Philippines top to bottom. A tolerable Atenista, as I always used to joke about him, Mar has the lineage and the pedigree needed to add honor to such a high position he could someday occupy. Mar has in his genes the intellectual prowess of his father, the late Senator Gerry Roxas, and of course his equally brilliant and compleat grandfather President Manuel Acuna Roxas. On his maternal side, he certainly has the charm and class of his mother, Judy Araneta Roxas. And how can I forget the spunk and boldness of his late brother Dinggoy? I heard he is also doing a good job these days as a single parent. As I do get to observe his performance in the Senate, I can't help but compare him with the others, but how do you compare him with Senator Lito Lapid who I suspect always has a brain-freeze seizure each time he's on the Senate floor or simply in attendance? One other lady senator I do admire, contrary to what many of her critics say is Jamby Madrigal. She has cojones! Balls which other senators do not have. Other than the fact that I adore her for raising wonderful Whippets of which I happen to be an indirect recipient of a darling one (used to be two), is the fact that she really does her homework and goes straight down to serious business during the senate deliberations. Whatever her critics say of her, she would make a great graft-buster and guardian of the people's rights. It's really not her fault if she was born wealthy. I'd pick her anytime of the day compared with other senators who simply want to finish their respective terms rich. Mar and Jamby's family have a long-standing friendship with my family which started from our grandfathers. When Mar speaks, everyone listens. When Jamby speaks, everyone is all ears. But when Lito Lapid speaks, everyone is in disbelief and are instantly reminded that he still breathes. If Mar plays his cards right, he could be our president someday. Other blabber-mouths like Dick Gordon are better off just being head of the Philippine National Red Cross (PNRC), and are better off selling dinuguan on the side at the the perimeter fences of the SBMA (Subic). Chiz Escudero should team up with Manny Pacquiao in 2010 for a president/vice-president tandem and their slogan should be, "Vote Champ with Chiz!" Jinggoy is terrible as committee chair. He should do his homework and lose some weight lest he be our local version of Bibendum, the love-handled or 'bil-bil' mascot of Michelin Tires. Biazon is still his usual tackless and ill-mannered soldier self. I remember one senate hearing where he was grilling a witness invited to appear before the committee whose surname was Pone (pronounced Pon-ye). As Biazon was asking straight questions to the gentleman, he shifted to ask, "are you sure walang 'TA' ang apelyido mo sa huli?" It only shows the kind of ill-bred and stinky-mannered senator we voted in office. Never again, given the chance. He should go back to the barracks. Bong Revilla is probably tired-bored these days counting lizards on the senate ceilings, and sweating it out trying to finish his 'four-letter word only' crossword puzzle. This is one guy who to this day still doesn't know if he's a mediocre senator or a joker actor. And speaking of Joker, how can one ignore Joker Arroyo and his campaign slogan, "pag bad ka, lagot ka!" I think because of his senile stage, he has now confused the word "bad" with "good." And tell me honestly, how serious can you take a senator whose first name is Joker? What were his parents thinking when he was christened? Were they playing cards? But okay, I confess, I'd probably pick his first name any time of the day instead of his last, being a namesake of the illegal occupant in Malacanang, now linked to corruption and illegitimacy since day one of her term. Of course with Manny Villar, whose campaign slogan "sipag at tiyaga," has now been changed without his approval to "C-5 at taga!" due to alleged illegal insertions that benefited his real estate companies. He should also change his surname from Villar to Bilyar. After all, he is now the top patron of pocket billiards in the Philippines having recently sponsored a successful billiards tournament aptly called the 'Villar Cup.' Ping Lacson is his own attack-dog except for his pretty looks on billboards on our main thoroughfares. His PR consultant should advice him to stop endorsing beauty and health products. It makes one wonder if he belongs to the third sex, and people might start calling him Pingky Lacson. Miriam Defensor-Santiago will definitely not be given any chance to endorse any beauty product on billboards, unless of course MGM Pictures puts her face along EDSA to promote their forthcoming blockbuster film entitled, "Godzilla in Manila." Kiko Pangilinan is our perpetual senator who still hides behind Sharon Cuneta's Super Ferry-sized skirts, thumbsucking and all, wearing a UP Centennial boxer shorts. The pseudonym Kiko Cuneta has a nice ring to it though. Migs Zubiri and his Jathropa are gaining momentum but as usual, he's all biogas! Loren Legarda has the reputation of having planted more billboards than trees, and the hostess with the mostest husbands, having shifted to Islam, so I heard. And how can one forget Johnny Enrile who at 85 still looks very good. Of course, one can never forget his admission to a fake ambush done on him once upon a time, and the padding of votes for Marcos in his Cagayan Province. And how about Nene Pimentel? Some pharmaceutical company should get him as their honorable guinea pig to experiment on the causes of eye bags in adolescents up to old age, for pretty soon he may have to check in his eyebags at the airport next time he travels. Pia Cayetano is Alan Peter with long hair as Alan Peter is Pia with short hair. They both magnify the second and third syllables of the word 'dynasty.' As for Sonny Trillanes, well, he still has to set foot in the senate not armed but charmed. He should remind General Esperon that next time he takes his tank for a drive in the Manila Peninsula - literally, that the hotel has a basement parking and valet service as well. Duh! But seriously, I think that a popular individual with a celebrity status should be more careful not to be easily lured into seeking public office, especially if the same knows he will not be of good use at all. They should emulate the great Dolphy, when asked if he was running for national public office to which he simply replied, "e paano kung manalo?" Look at the wasted and inutile positions of the onerous Bong Revilla and Lito Lapid and the elected office they occupy, including their PhP200 million plus each year budget. A senator's office is an ultra-serious responsibility and undertaking. For unlike the congressman who has a direct constituency, a senator virtually has none, meaning that the entire citizenry is his constituency and must at all times exercise sound statesmanship. The senate floor is sacred ground and on it are the invisible footprints and imprints of our senators of old who have protected its sanctity and pureness in the noble duty of legislating sound laws for our land. It is not and should never be an extension of a vaudeville stage or of some extended TV studio of a major network showing idiotic noontime shows like 'Wowowee' with its equally idiotic host. Now I know why I can never complete the senatorial list on my ballot every election day.

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