HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN 2009
With gratitude to "Mr. President" Eddie Gil for the visual aid above.
At the rate our government shows proof that it is indeed like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other, it's good to know that we can keep up with their childish insanities, with Secretary Raul Gonzalez now just a sigh away from second childhood. By doing so, I list some of the crazy things we can possibly do in the coming new year.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses and a hat on and point a hair-dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
6. Don't use any punctuation marks when writing.
7. Inside an elevator, call the 'Psychic Hotline' from your cellphone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
8. When driving-thru Jollibee or McDonald's, specificy that your order is "to-go."
9. Enter a road-side public karaoke joint and sing-along with the singer and then leave him/her some change and run away.
10. When riding a public jeep, tell the farthest passenger from the tsuper (the one sitting at the end near the jeep's entrance), "paki suyo po bayad," and then give him/her your fare. Observe his/her reaction.
11. Put a mosquito net or kulambo around your work area. Play a CD of jungle sounds all day.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
13. When the cash comes out from your bank's ATM, scream "I Won!", I Won!", "Third time this week!"
7. Inside an elevator, call the 'Psychic Hotline' from your cellphone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
8. When driving-thru Jollibee or McDonald's, specificy that your order is "to-go."
9. Enter a road-side public karaoke joint and sing-along with the singer and then leave him/her some change and run away.
10. When riding a public jeep, tell the farthest passenger from the tsuper (the one sitting at the end near the jeep's entrance), "paki suyo po bayad," and then give him/her your fare. Observe his/her reaction.
11. Put a mosquito net or kulambo around your work area. Play a CD of jungle sounds all day.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
13. When the cash comes out from your bank's ATM, scream "I Won!", I Won!", "Third time this week!"
14. When leaving the Manila Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Takbo! Takbo! NAKAWALA SILAA!!
15. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to let one of you go..."
15. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to let one of you go..."
16. When inside an elevator (again), face everybody instead and establish eye-to-eye contact with them one at a time.
17. When riding the MRT or the LRT, do this: just a few meters before the next stop, shout, "PARA!! ... PARA PO!!
18. Next time your spouse leaves for work, do something different this time: shake his/her hand instead.
19. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "THAT'S MINE!!!"
20. Still inside an elevator -- stare at a specific passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of them!" and back away slowly.
Any other suggestions?
Okay, here's #21, a gem from Jasper Greek Lao Golangco who blogs at http://golangco.blogspot.com/ ...
21. After withdrawing from an ATM, flip the sign on the door to say "off-line," then watch the frustrated people who come to the door.
1 comment:
brother... numbers 4, 14, 15 and 17 totally killed me...!
here's one: after withdrawing from an ATM, flip the sign on the door to say "off-line," then watch the frustrated people who come to the door... (i've done this myself!)
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