APPLES, BANANAS AND BALIMBINGS

To this day, many people still think that the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was an Apple. Could this have been started by an American? The Apple is never mentioned in the Bible and is referrred to only as the forbidden fruit. However, the Koran is more specific in saying that the forbidden fruit was a Banana. Now, as to what type of Banana it was, a lacatan or a latundan? Well, we better just inquire from our Moslem brothers. The Apple is just one of many fruit varieties that have originated with the common blooming rose. Others include the Pear, Peach, Plum, Apricot and Cherry. Many fruits can be traced only to their discovery by explorers. The Lime, for example, wasn't identified until the 17th century, when sailors traveling to the New World drank its juice to prevent scurvy, a malady caused by Vitamin C deficiency. Since then - and to this day, citrus fruits have attracted a large cultish following as wellsprings of vitality and good health. Among them, Oranges, Grapefruits and Tangerines. However, gourmands in many places prefer Kiwis, Kumquats and Mangoes. Yes, Mangoes - and the Philippine type is king. The best Mangoes are said to come from Guimaras, an island in Southern Philippines. And then, we have the Coconut, an unbeatable source of several useful items. An edible pulp, a refreshing sweet milk that can quench even the toughest thirst, and a valuable oil ideal for making margarine, soap, and suntan lotion. The fibers from the Coconut husk itself are used in fashioning rope, and the tree's trunk is a valuable type of wood used for building huts and fences. Cocolumber is an essential by-product of the Coconut tree and is very popular in the furniture industry. And then we have the legendary Fig, which is also deeply rooted in the story of the Garden of Eden, where its leaves were believed to have clothed Adam and Eve after their fateful meal. Figs and Dates provided sustenance for the early Greeks, and the trees of both remain heavily cultivated today along the Eastern Mediterranean. But the most celebrated local fruit of all is of a political variety, and can be found in abundance inside the Batasan Complex. The English name for it escapes me for now, but the Balimbing is an "honorable" fruit, if you ask me. And, to add injury to insult, the more rotten, the more acceptable since it is always in good company. Just recently, these forbidden political fruits have been creating many jams, so to speak, and the latest is affixing their signatures to transform the House into a Constituent Assembly a.ka. Con-Ass. These fruits need to be processed to a pulp and then preserved forever as a reminder of how bad a bunch of fruits can be - in season or out of season.

(Image from http://www.globalpinoy.com/)

PREFERRED CLIENTS ONLY

We all have a pet-peeve. One of my top pet-peeve is, well, getting in line at the Ayala (Alabang) Town Center branch of the Bank of the Philippine Islands (BPI). Observe, as you enter the bank, you right away have that unmistakable feeling of being like "sheep for the slaughter." There, two types of bank customers are immediately identified and classified. The first type, in which I belong to, are the ordinary customers who bank tellers always assume have all the time in the world to spare (and to waste). The second type - as the bank puts it by prominently displaying a sign right above teller #4, are "PREFERRED CLIENTS ONLY," or Gold Card holders. So, right away if you're just a holder of a regular blue and white BPI card, that sign immediately tells you that you're somewhat UNPREFERRED, and the bank simply wants you to know that you're not that important, so get in line to the left like the rest of the small time depositors. This is indeed a failing mark for BPI when it comes to public relations, and I'm quite certain that the same signs are present in all its branches nationwide. It's enough that while we're all in line for long periods of time, "Preferred Clients" take only a few minutes to transact their businesses with the wide-eyed tellers. And, to add a dash of salt to an already fresh wound, if you're a "Preferred Client," you're even allowed to use your cellular phone even if it's prohibited to do so while in the bank premises. On the other hand, if you are simply an "unpreferred" client, the guard on duty will surely make a quick gesture at you for even just reading an abbreviated text message on your phone. I wonder, to the bank robbers out there, would they have a list of "Preferred Banks" too?

(Image from http://1.bp.blogspot.com/)

HAVE FARE WILL TRAVEL

I found myself on a bus headed for Tagaytay City one fine morning. Unplanned and unprepared for this "balikan" trip, I nevertheless expected to be treated with the splendid scenery I was about to see again. The main tourist treat of Tagaytay is the captivating panoramic view of the natural beauty of Taal Volcano, (minus the eyesore that is the Korean spa) the smallest volcano in the world. Taal Lake is home to two delectable rare species of fish, the maliputo and the tawilis. In spite of the nearness to Metro Manila, Tagaytay has a unique rustic atmosphere and an invigorating cool climate. This is perhaps why many tourists do not only want to visit the place, but opt to hold seminars, conferences and retreats in the city. Complementing the natural endowment are several tourist establishments.

Legend has it that the word "Tagaytay" came from Taga meaning "to cut" and Itay which means "Father." One day, a father and a son were said to be on a wild boar hunt when the animal they were chasing turned towards them and attacked them. As the boar headed for the old man, the son cried, "Taga, Itay!" The lad's repeated shouts echoed in the valleys of the ridge. Heard the by local inhabitants, hunters and wood gatherers, the cries became the subject of conversation for several days amongst the people in the countryside. In time, the place where the shouts came from became known as Tagaytay.

During the Philippine Revolution of 1896, the ridges and forests of Tagaytay became the sanctuary for revolutionaries, including for those from nearby provinces. The passage to and from towns via Tagaytay added the word Mananagaytay. To the native's vocabulary, it means "to traverse ridges." At the outbreak of the 2nd World War, the 11th Airborne Division of Lt. Gen. William Krueger's 8th Army airdropped military supplies and personnel on the Tagaytay Ridge prior to the liberation of Manila from the Japanese. A marker was thus installed in 1951 at the junction of the Manila-Canlubang-Nasugbu Roads by city officials in coordination with the National Historical Institute (NHI). Tagaytay became a chartered city on June 21, 1938 when President Manuel L. Quezon signed Commonwealth Act No. 338, a bill authored by then Rep. Justiniano Montano of Cavite.

Even before I had savored enough the impromptu road trip, it was already time to return home, with the self-promise that I shall be back soon, this time prepared with a notebook, a pencil and a camera.

(In memory of my good friend, the late Dr. Edgar "Doki" Laurena)

(Image from http://www.volcano-facts.com/)

THE LIBERTY PRAYER OF 1931 AND THE NATIONAL PRAYER OF 1932

In observance of Philippine Independence Day (June 12), allow me to take you some decades back - 1931 and 1932 to be exact. A time when the words "emancipation," "freedom" and "liberty" were in every Filipino's heart. Today, not much has changed, and we still cry out for emancipation, freedom and liberty not from a foreign master any more, but from domestic tyrants who continue to enslave our nation with its lies, corruption and deceit. Observe, that these 2 prayers look like they were written only recently and not 7 decades ago. For the words and message are still the same words and message our countrymen cry out to God today.

The prayers were written and delivered by my Protestant grandfather, Jorge Bocobo.

THE LIBERTY PRAYER OF 1931

O living God, our Father, may Thy grace ever abound unto our nation. In perfect trust do we seek to know Thy will in our strivings for liberation. Bless Thou every hand that toils and every heart that throbs for freedom. Grant that in the vehemence of our struggles for liberty, no ill-will or hatred may creep into our hearts. Give us to bear our disappointments with charity and long-suffering, confident that Thou, O God of deliverance, will never forsake us Thy people.

We beseech Thee to bestow increasing strength and power upon those who labor for our emancipation, and may those who deny us freedom see the righteousness of our cause.

In the hollow of Thy mighty hand are the destinies of all nations. To Thee we commend our country's future, so that, we pray Thee, it may shine unto the perfect day. We fear no harm or evil under the shadow of Thy wings. Lead our people on the paths of righteousness and of good will towards all men. Let freedom be ours, O Thou giver of every good gift. We thank Thee for manifold blessings in the past. May we be deserving of Thy continued protection today and in the years to come. To Thee we attribute all glory and all power forever and ever. Amen.


THE NATIONAL PRAYER OF 1932

Almighty God, Father of all nations, fountain of all strength and mercy, we, Thy people, come unto Thee in our hour of danger and distress. Hide not Thy face from this nation, we beseech Thee. Do Thou pour out Thy holy comfort upon our afflicted souls. We are Thy people, and Thou art our refuge and deliverer. Of Thy loving-kindness, there is no end.

We entreat Thee, O most gracious Father, stay Thou the hand that would smite our liberties. Send forth Thy Spirit unto our rulers and so touch their hearts and quicken their sense of justice, that we may in honor keep their plighted word to us. Let not the covetous designs of a few interests prevail in the councils, nor sway its noble purposes towards our country.

We pray Thee, O Lord, grant us peace to forgive those who seek to destroy our freedom.

We thank Thee, O heavenly Father, that we can thus pray to Thee. We thank Thee that Thou hast inspired us with a renewed spirit of national unity. Do Thou bless and sanctify our aspirations as a people. Guide us in our endeavours for our emancipation to the end that our every thought and deed may be accepted in Thy sight. And to Thee be all honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

(Image from http://lylegonzalespayabyab.blogspirit.com/)

WHERE WOLF THERE WOLF

Why are there people who will use, God's Word which they distort and abuse?
Charlatans with their magnetic bracelets and rings, selling them and other useless things.
You prepare your traps with your unholy bait, waiting for souls to seal their fate.
To relieve them from their precious cash, and add to the rest of your material trash.
You promised them prosperity and perfect health, tenfold returns and untold wealth.
You prey on the weak and the souls in pain, and you do all these for power and gain.
Beware you false shepherd, you mislead the flock, God is not one Whom you can mock.
Think not for a moment that you can win, for you shall account for your habitual sin.
Removed shall you be, unmasked and defrocked, for you have cheated, lied and mocked.
Before you know it you shall be gone, and the flock shall be led by the Good Shepherd-Son.

(Image from http://www.stopcp.com/)

LIKUAN U

I sure hope the MMDA pulls down those Likuan U (Lee Kuan Yew) signs on EDSA's U-turn slots soon before some patriotic Singaporean calls the attention of the government. Otherwise, it certainly would be a very embarrassing thing. Methinks this is no way to pay honor to an esteemed leader like former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew. Who ever had this silly idea must be peltered with rotten tomatoes, or better yet, a kaing of rotten macopa - the pinkier in color, the better.

However, if the MMDA claims not responsible for these signs, then they should at least have the sense of respect to pull them down at the soonest possible time. In Tagalog, katawa-tawa tayo. It's high time Bayani Fernando's Urbanidad Que Barbaridad project turns to some no-nonsense stuff, and not some silly and idiotic patawa signs like these Likuan U. But then again, can one really blame Bayani for his naturally baduy taste as he slowly but surely transforms his Metro Manila (now Metro Philippines?) into one tacky 'tropolis?

HEROES AND HEELS

Today, Manny Pacquiao and his usual entourage composed of the usual suspects and human leeches Lito Atienza and politico-wannabes, will motorcade around Metro Manila's main thoroughfares in celebration of "the real bayani," Manny Pacquiao. This, because there exists a bogus bayani in the person of MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando who (again) has flooded his Metro-Gago contraptions with pink and blue ribbons which says, "Bayani ng Lahing Pilipino," pertaining to Pacquiao, but with color emphasis on "Bayani." The not-so-subtle message he is conveying to the reading public again attempts to remind "urbanidados" he is gunning for the presidency, this in spite of his 1% acceptance rating. I think it's just a waste of taxpayers' money since he can't even win the hearts of his men at the MMDA, much less the country.

The motorcade ends in Malacanang where Mr. Pacquiao pays a courtesy call to another bogus hero, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Of course, she may again make a shameless public declaration that she and Manny are both heroes. What gall, what guts. What pachydermic pronouncement!

But before she fibs on this again, let us not forget what had happened a few years ago - the lie that was EDSA 2. The foreign press did not stand idly as the events leading to EDSA 2 unfolded. Most of the wire services and the major international networks had correspondents monitoring events and reporting on these accordingly. As a result, the controversial nature of the GMA take-over in January 2001 did not escape international scrutiny and received widespread covergae in global media outlets.

The following offer glimpses of what was written about the power grab that deprived President Joseph Estrada of the presidential mandate overwhelmingly given to him by the Philippine electorate in the May 1998 presidential elections. These articles were written by respectable journalists whose keen poltical sense and acumen are unquestionable.

Sandra Burton of TIME says, "Remember Estrada - however cynically - was acting within the framework of the law and under the terms called for by the impeachment proceedings. Had he been declared guilty, he would have had to go. The troubling point remains that he had been convicted. But they had mechanisms to legally change their head of state. The option they chose, popular uprising, while rousing and probably justified, could portend a troubling future for democracy. But if those protests lead to unconstitutionally questionable successions, it becomes a subversion of democracy. Even now, we don't know what percentage of Filipinos wanted Erap to go."

Anthony Spaeth of TIME says, " But the Philippine polity is 77 million strong (2001 figures). Was this a revolution of the Filipino people - or a few hundred thousand Filipinos prompted by a few hundred individuals? perhaps this represents confusion between democratic pasions and the rule of law. More likely, though, People Power has become its own institution and one that seems monopolized by a certain clique. People Power has become an acceptable term for a troubling phenomenon: one that used to be known as mob rule."

Phil Zabriskie of TIME says, "Legitimacy questions crack the foundation of her presidency from her first day in office. The cracks deepened folowing Estrada's arrest in May, a foolishly showy affair that made him a martyr and caused mob riots quickly dubbed EDSA 3. An economy in meltdown, an army that could turn against her, an ex-president who might be more popular that she is, and now, the US soldiers landing on her shores. What Arroyo needs is a bulwark. But without an electoral mandate, the only source is a massive public support, the kind more likely to respond to image and inspiration than intellect."

THE ECONOMIST says, "Gloria Macapagal Arroyo took over the presidency in unconstitutional circumstances that do not stand up well to scrutiny."

Philip Bowring of the INTERNATIONAL HERALD TRIBUNE says, "However, far from being a victory for democracy that is being claimed by leaders of the anti-Estrada movement such as Jaime Sin, the evolution of events has been a defeat for due process. For many, it merely confirms the fragility of political institutions in the Philippines and the likelihood that the streets will become a regular location for political action."

Hilton L. Root of the INTERNATIONAL HERALD TRIBUNE says, "The result is that the Philippines, known for the 'people power' movement that brought down Ferdinand Marcos, has the wrong kind of people power of the 21st century. The Philippines faces a political crisis that goes beyond the need to replace the person at the top. The challenge is to correct the situation in which society is divided into those who can outsmart the system and those who cannot. Removing Estrada will not save the Philippines."

Seth Mydans of THE NEW YORK TIMES says, "People Power 2 was met with doubt and criticism, described by foreign commentators s a "defeat for due process," as a "mob rule," and as a "de facto coup." It was seen as an elitist backlash against a president who had overwhelmingly been elected by the poor. This time it appears "people power" was used not to restore democracy but, momentarily, to supplant it."

Lee Kuan Yew in THE STRAITS TIMES as interviewed by the ASSOCIATED PRESS says, "The change of power in the Philippines was no boost for democracy because it was done outside the constitution."

Jim Mann of the LOS ANGELES TIMES says, "Now by contrast, we are witnessing the use of people power against a leader who was the winner of a legitimate democratic election. No matter how understandable it was, this outbreak of people power doesn't feel like an advance for the cause of democracy, quite the opposite. Who or what, ultimately, was this particular movement against?"

THE WASHINGTON POST editorial says, "...This time, however, the target of Filipinos' "people power" was not a dictator, like Ferdinand Marcos, but Joseph Estrada, a constitutional execurive who received more votes than any previous presidential candidate and who remained popular among the country's poor. Though he Supreme Court ruled that Vice-President Macapagal-Arroyo should be sworn in as president, the legality of the transfer remains questionable."

The ASIA TIMES online says, "Again, therefore, whatever crious legal construction anyone may now attempt to put on the ouster of Estrada, he was ousted by a military coup, with the connivance of the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church, major business groups and two former presidents. This will have any number of consequences, none too pleasant, for the coup markers and - more imporatntly - for the country. One loser among the coup makers will be the Archbishop of Manila, Jaime Cardinal Sin, and his church. Economically, from the standpoint of foreign investors, would you put money into a country whose constitutional and legal system are only as reliable as the will and whim of an entrenched oligarchical elite..."

So, Mrs. Arroyo, before you make that public declaration again that you are a hero just like Manny Pacquiao, please remember how is it that you are now seated on your fragile throne - your stolen throne. Remember also that you once made a boastful and shameless declaration saying, "I'm married to the country."

I wonder, is this why you keep screwing the Filipino people?

(Image by Glenn Dasmarinas at www.gl3nnx.net)

SHEPHERD OR FOE?

A friend of mine traveling in Syria relates how he stopped to watch three shepherds who were by a well watering their flocks. The three flocks were all mingled together at the watering place. My friend could not see anything different between them, and he wondered how they could get them all separated again without much trouble. But when one of the shepherds stood forth and called out, "Menah!" the Arabic for "Follow me," and sure enough, some thirty sheep immediately separated themselves from the indiscriminate mass and began to follow the shepherd up the hill. Then, a second shepherd lifted the same cry, "Menah!" and a second flock separated themselves and started after him, while the rest of the sheep remained as unconcerned as if no one had spoken at all.

My friend was so astonished that as he saw the third shepherd preparing to leave, laying his hand to his crook and beginning to gather some dates fallen from a palm beneath which he had been resting, he stepped up to him and asked, "Would your sheep follow me if I called them?" The man shook his head left to right and vice versa. "May I borrow your shepherd's cloak and crook and let me try?" My friend said that he even wound the shepherd's turban round his head and standing forth began to cry, "Menah! Menah!" but not a single sheep moved. They only blinked at him lazily in the sunshine. "Do they never follow anyone but you?" asked my friend. "Only when a sheep is sick, then the silly creature follows anyone, false shepherds included," the shepherd replied.

Whose voice are you following?

(Image from http://www.keyway.ca/)

GLORIA'S FORTY BILLION PESOS FOR THE PRESIDENCY

Only in the Philippines are there presidential candidates who will spend more than five billion pesos to try to land a job that only pays 600,000 pesos a year, or a total of 3.6 million pesos for a 6-year term. And, if he/she spends money (or not), either from contributions from big business or "friends," it is not unreasonable to expect him/her to try and recover what was spent during campaigns. Since no existing legal way is at hand, the candidate will have to do so by extra-legal means. Not a recipe for good and honest government, if you ask me.

The high stakes involved here makes each candidate try his/her luck in outmaneuvering everyone else. Many will even claim victory after losing a vote. And because of this, the outcome is always far from clean. With the presidential elections just around the corner, one cannot help but think how these "president wannabes" are now gathering the wealth to fund and sustain his/her candidacy of the highest office of the land.

But wait, my unimpeachable source now tells me that President Gloria Arroyo has already set aside some forty billion pesos to comfortably finance her (or her choice's candidacy). Now that's a scandalous amount, and imagine how many schoolbuidings and hospitals that money can build, streetchildren and orphans to feed, textbooks to print, and help stranded OFWs and fly them back to their families. And whosoever becomes her administration's opponent must match that amount or even better it. And someone extremely popular like former President Joseph Estrada. And because of this, chills have been running up and down the backs of Malacanang Palace spin-doctors and strategists. But no worries. You have Gloria's Supreme Court in your pockets. For if Estrada now is your headache, then prepare yourselves for a lingering bout of stubborn migraine.

P.S. Doesn't the picture above fit her just like a genuine masked bandit? And better than a fedora, that mask is the more appropriate headgear for her. I'm sure she has lots of those in her office, enough to distribute to her friends in her administration.

(Image from http://www.chrispforr.net/)

KIDS MAKE US PROUD!

Unknown to many, a football team of around 42 kids (8, 9 & 10 yrs.) forming the Xavier FC from the Xavier School in San Juan will be leaving for Singapore in a few days to compete in the much-awaited Novotel-Anza Soccer International Cup 2009, to be held on April 25 & 26. This 2-day event will showcase the participation of some 700 kids from various nations, and of course, among them our very own. As I watched these kids practice their football skills, already I see in them much enthusiasm and excitement, since most if not all of them will be representing not only their team and their school, but more importantly, their own country. On their faces, one can see that they are already champions. For after all, it all boils down to how you play your game, and not so much winning it. But of course, winning is a splendid achievement. But the manner in how you perform and conduct yourself with unwavering sportsmanship and fairplay tops any gold-plated trophy or medal any day of the week for me.

Also worth mentioning are the equally strong football teams Hedcen and Marist. Both teams, together with Xavier will be carrying our national colors as they compete in Singapore. A proud moment for all football parents involved amongst these three teams.

Here's good wishes to the Xavier FC, Hedcen and Marist. Go kick some balls!

(Image from http://www.rics.org/)

SEALED WITH A KICK

Dear President Arroyo,

Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments. You know, the ones down the street who, in the good times, re-financed their houses several times and bought brand new SUVs, big-screen TVs and expensive jewelries. I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage and theirs, could you arrange for me take one of those SUVs on a road trip now and then?

P.S. They also need help with their credit cards. When do you want me to start making those payments?

P.P.S. I almost forgot - they didn't file their income tax return this year. Should I go ahead and file for them or will you be appointing them to cabinet posts soon?

(Image from http://www.sunstar.com.ph/)

A FAITHFUL AND LOVING PRAYER-ANSWERING GOD

I almost lost a dear dear friend of mine last night. No, I'm not talking about a person as in a family member. I am pertaining to my dog, my one and only faithful companion of many years. Death almost snatched him from my very protective arms. The painful agony of the "process of losing" someone so precious can seem endless and strong, as I experienced it last night. But my God is stronger, and indeed has also shown me His omnipotence. But He was also oh so gentle. And in those thirty-five minutes of uncertainty and fear, when the stench of death was hounding Oscar my Whippet, I immediately fell on my knees in tears and asked God to cover him and me with His love, and if it was time for the dog to go, for God to take him quickly and peacefully. But God had other plans, and He answers with such impeccable precision. After a few minutes, my dog's convulsions and screams of pain as if wrestling with death came to a full stop. Silence and peace immediately filled my house. And the love of my Jesus just embraced us both. I know, because I felt it so real and so strong. I realized that nothing (as in a dog's life) can be too small for a big God. He answered my cries (and my dog's cries) for help last night, and once again has proven to be a faithful, loving answering God. While reading Psalm 91 to Oscar as he was convulsing, I knew he didn't understand the words that came out of my mouth. But one thing I knew was this: The Spirit of God "interpreted" those words in a strange language only my dog could understand, because he obeyed in peace and in calmness, much like the storm obeying the spoken word of Jesus to "be still." Psalm 91:3-6;10-12;14-16 says: "He will keep you safe from all hidden dangers and from all deadly diseases. He will cover you with His wings, and you will be safe in His care. His faithfulness will protect and save you. You need not fear any dangers at night, or sudden attacks during the day, or the plagues that strike in the dark, or the evils that kill in daylight. And so, no disaster will strike you, no violence will come near your home. God will put His angels in charge of you, to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands to keep you hurting your feet on the stones. God says, "I will save those who love me, and protect those who acknowledge Me as their Lord. WHEN THEY CALL TO ME, I WILL ANSWER THEM. When they are in trouble, I will be with them. I will rescue them and honor them. I will reward them with long life. I will save them."

You see, when I was crying out to God last night, He heard me and answered me. He saved my dog. Nothing is too small for Him. He knew my dog was just too big a concern for me. And He took the situation in His strong loving hands. I praise God for this. It was really a miracle worth sharing.

God makes you "see troubles" sometimes, and as part of your education to be carried out, you must "go down to the depths of the Earth" (Psalm 63:9), travel sub-terranean passages, and lie buried among the dead. But not for even one moment is the bond of fellowship and oneness between God and you strained to the point of breaking! And ultimately, from the same depths, He "will restore your life again."

Never doubt God! Never say that He has forsaken or forgotten you or think that He is unsympathetic to the things you care about, no matter how small. Last night's experience for me was so real and so frightening, that even I almost "lost it." "He will restore your life (my dog's life) again!" No matter how many twists and turns the road may have, there will always be one smooth and straight path. For even the longest day will have its sunset, and the cold winter snow may stay for quite some time, but it will eventually melt, as our troubles will thaw in His loving care.

"Though the rain may fall and the wind be blowing,
And chilled and cold is the wintry blast;
Though the cloudy sky is still cloudier growing,
And the dead leaves tell that summer has passed.

My face is fixed on the stormy heaven,
My heart is as calm as the summer sea,
Glad to receive what my God has given,
Whatever it be.

When I feel the cold, I can say "He sends it,"
And His winds blow blessings, I surely know;
For I've never a need but that He will meet it,
And my heart beats warm though the winds may blow."

_______________________________________________________

Take good care of your animals, because they too are precious to God.

"Good people take care of their animals, but wicked people are cruel to theirs." - Proverbs 12:10


Thank you Pastor Paul.

(Image form http://www.livingrockchurch.org.uk/)

APOLOGY NOT TAKEN

Not so fast Chippy Chip! I smell a dead rat on board your rickshaw of an apology. Okay, so you did apologize to the Filipino nation. But why did you do so in Spanish? Why couldn't you just stick to English? What were you thinking in your so-called mind? We are an English-speaking nation, and the Spanish language as it has been known and spoken in the Philippines once a upon a time is a language of old. I think by doing so, you just added salt to a gaping fresh wound, perhaps insinuating a bit of our history that as we were under the Spanish conquistadores, and madre Espana being our "master," making us "a nation of servants?" Either you are totally ignorant of our nation's history, or you simply wanted to insult us further by NOT apologizing in English. You said, "A todos los hermanos y todas las hermanas Filipinos: Lo siento mucho. Vamos a vivir en paz." (Translation: To all Filipino brothers and sisters, I am very sorry. We should live in peace.) I wonder how many Filipinos understand that before translation. I'd say, "El burro sabe mas que tu!"

I would like to think that you are an intelligent individual and that you are perhaps educated in the UK just like many of your fellow-yellows. But no, you had to stay put in your comfort zone, just below the moral poverty level where you are most comfortable with.

I cannot, and will not accept your apology. As it is, more damage has been done with your apology. I leave your fate in the hands of the Filipino people. After all, it wasn't only I you insulted, but 92 million others.

(Image from http://hk-magazine.com/)

NEVERMORE

This piece is dedicated to a Chinoy friend Edgar Allan Po, and in praise of the great author Edgar Allan Poe.

A reminder of the past elections, in anticipation to the forthcoming one.

Once upon a campaign dreary, one which left us weak and weary;
O'er many a quaint and curious promise of political lore,
While we nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a yapping,
As of some votes overlapping, energy-zapping to the core.
"Tis a mess here," we all muttered, as the network anchors stuttered,
stuttered over a president wh*re.
Could there be another election, with such a case of misdirection,
One with such a weak selection, yet fraught with tension all the more?
Quote the ravers, "Nevermore."

(Image from http://aquadeb.com/)

CHEAP CHOW FROM HONG KONG

Many of my good and best friends are Filipinos of Chinese descent, a number of whom are even more patriotic Chinoys than the average Pinoy, if you know what I mean. Decent, respectable and Godly Chinese-Filipinos, or Filipino-Chinese. They who have made the Philippines their one and only motherland and home, working hard and living well. But, when a Hong Kong Chinese journalist writes an article of insult to hurt some 130,000 hard-working Filipina maids in Hong Kong, I immediately dump everything that's Chinese around me, including all my Ma-Ling, Haw flakes and Melamine-tainted milk in the garbage bin and start sharpening my bolo or gulok, and begin pointing it towards Hong Kong like a rabid but true katipunero, if you know what I mean.

Chip Tsao, a HK-based journalist who writes for HK Magazine has just declared war to all patriotic Filipinos, and most especially to all those who have relatives working in Hong Kong - maids, if you know what I mean.

In his column, Cheap Chow, er ... Chip Tsao wrote, "The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that - Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diaoyu Island. That's no big problem - we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke. But hold on - even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. The reason? There are 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don't flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter. As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China. Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her staight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings. Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout "China, Madam/Sir" loudly whenever they hear the word "Spratly." They say the indocrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, "Long live Chairman Mao!" at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I'm not sure if that's going a bit too far, at least for the time being."

Chip Tsao is a best-selling author and columnist. A former reporter for the BBC, his columns have also appeared in Apple Daily, Next Magazine and CUP Magazine, among others.

This is a sad day for both satirist and Filipino that I am because Mr. Tsao simply went overboard on this one. I woudn't be surprised if his Pinay domestic helper would from now on spit on his egg-drop soup every time she prepares him his dinner. I just hope he gets to see the difference, but I doubt it very much. As I write this, a juggernaut of reactions have now inundated the HK Online website, and I expect this to drag on for quite some time, unless they pull down the article.

On the other hand, I am reminded of one patriotic tiny man who had a mouthful to say when his country was being "marginalized."

General Carlos P. Romulo.

When the design for the UN flag was subject for approval by its member-nations, General Carlos P. Romulo (head of the UN General Assembly and the UN Security Council) pointed out a grand objection. The Philippines had been scratched out from the map of the world on the proposed flag. The artist explained that the omission was unavoidable, for he said it was no longer possible to include the Philippines on a world map bearing the size of a tablecloth. But the tiny man with a huge stature refused to listen at all to any and all excuses! Raising to his full height, the diminutive Tarlaqueno demanded: "I don't care how you do it, just put my country on that flag!"

Today, we have a different breed of mutant-Filipinos holding office in Malacanang Palace, and who would readily give up territory like the Spratlys to a nation of counterfeits like China, perfectly defined with racist rick-shaw operators like Chip Tsao from Hong Kong, who claims to be a former staff member of the BBC, but doesn't say he was fired for lewd behavior.

At this point, I could use a second Lim-Seng right at the Luneta all over again. But on the other hand, give the guy a break. Just make sure its one of his bones, if you know what I mean.

Lastly, if Hong Kong means "Fragrant Harbor," could Chip Tsao mean "Stinky Mooncake?"

Just asking.

(Image from http://hk-magazine.com/)

MIRIAM CRASH-LANDS

The Philippines News Agency (PNA) reports that Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting recently when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Eastern Samar because of bad weather. The Civil Aeronautics Board (CAB) issued a preliminary determination that 'pilot error' contributed to the accident, and that the senator was flying in Instrument Flight Rules (IFR) conditions while only having obtained a Visual Flight Rules (VFR) single engine land rating. The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured. A photo taken at the scene (see picture above) shows the extent of damage to Senator Defensor-Santiago's aircraft.

Found at the scene of the crash were several sleeping pills, a taser gun and a torn straightjacket.

(Image from http://philippinecommentary.blogspot.com/)

PULPIT FICTION

Question: What is the difference between alcoholics and drunkards?
Answer: Alcoholics attend meetings. Drunkards cancel them.

So, I guess it is now safe to conclude that when my former pastor is in the South, he is an alcoholic. And when he is in the North, he metamorphs into a drunkard. Figure that out yourself.

I say "former," because that is all he ever will be to me in many ways. Former pastor, former friend, former confidant, former colleague, former counselor, former life-coach and former fellow-runner of the race.

I find it really funny and stupid that a supposedly prosperity preacher would resort to peddling bracelets and necklaces on the side, that when worn would make one achieve superhuman qualities. "Super-gulang" qualities perhaps? That probably explains why to this day he continues to use our church name without permission from us. But the other one thing I really would take him to task here is why does he have to get in touch with members of our church and meet them and vend all these nonsensical items? I can always do the same to his church, but I'd like to think of myself as one who is decent and has moral values and respect for someone else's sheep. But my former pastor (okay, let's address him now as "John Doe," does that sound close enough for you?) would be the opposite, and would poach on waters not in his turf. I say "poach" because that is really what he has been doing - fishing unlawfully. A poacher is by nature one who doesn't care how he catches his meal for the day, just as long as he gets it and does so in a "quick, before I get caught" fashion. And this action of his is a blatant display of arrogance and hypocrisy which has to be addressed immediately. If you ask me, I believe he should be fired again from his current church in the same manner we fired him when he resorted to alcohol abuse resulting to drunkenness and immoral behavior unbecoming of a pastor and "life-coach," which was happening nightly to this day. He continues to bring shame and toxicity to the noble vocation of being a pastor. His accountability pastor was even so surprised to find out during one of their counseling sessions that our John Doe was devastated to have lost a huge amount of monthly income, but didn't care at all losing the ministry. But I really am not surprised at this revelation. You, a prosperity preacher? Whose prosperity are we talking about here? You and your cabal of "Tupperware salesmen" I'm sure. (with apologies to all former Tupperware salespeople for this unfair comparison). Step down and bring back decency in the title "Pastor." Step down and shed off that sheep's clothing and run off like a rabid lone wolf in search of its pack. Otherwise, I may be forced to declare the Hunting Season as "OPEN."

(Image from http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r8/Lupine71/)

MAKE ANOTHER WISH

FG Mike was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a genie's lamp.

He picked it up and rubbed it and lo and behold, a genie appeared. Mike was amazed and asked if he got three wishes.

The genie said, "No sir. Due to inflation, constant down-sizing, layoffs, a shaky stock market, low wages and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what will it be?"

"I want to be remembered for bringing decency in Malacanang, instead of the other stuff like smuggling operations, money-laundering and the World Bank mess, and for peace in Mindanao. See this Philippine map? I want Christians and Muslims to stop fighting with each other."

The genie looked at the map of the Philippines and exclaimed, "Oh, but these Filipinos have been fighting each other for many many years. Im good, but not that good. I don' think it can be done. Make another wish."

Mike thought for a minute and said, "You know, Pinoys don't like my wife at all. Even though she got elected, they call her a liar, a crook and a cheat. They think she's evil and ugly, and talks like a cheap parrot. I wish for everybody to like her. That's all I want."

The genie let out a long sigh and said, "Lemme see that map again!"

(Image from http://www.newsflash.org/)

JAIL TO THE CHIEF!

Our Constitution was not written on sand only to be washed away by a roguery of self-serving politicians like Speaker Boy Nograles and Rep. Ed Zialcita, allied with Gloria Arroyo, blown in by the political wind, otherwise known as the Arroyo regime's corrupt, polluted air.

On that note, before GMA and her storm-troopers have it their way changing our Constitution, perhaps it would be a good reminder for all to see what kind of legacy they really will be leaving behind.

The following best describes it all:

- $500 million IMPSA/Napocor/Argentine deal c/o Sec. Nani Perez
- NAIA-3 project/Germany's Fraport AG
- Grossly overpriced P1.2 billion PEA-Diosdado Macapagal Highway (Dioscopo Napacamahal Highway)
- PCSO ads and the multi-million peso funds mis-use
- SBMA smuggling operations
- BCDA loss of AFP modernization funds
- Camp John Hay Baguio rentals
- Poro Point revenues
- PhilHealth cards
- Joc-Joc Bolante's P728 million fertilizer scam
- OWWA fund diversion
- PAGCOR secret deals with the clergy, media and government officials
- DPWH contracts including the Road-User's tax
- $329 million grossly overpriced ZTE-NBN mess c/0 Chairman Ben Abalos
- North Rail's 'railroaded' projects
- South Rail's 'railroaded' project
- DoTC contracts including RORO ports and local airports misu-use of funds
- Anomalous TRANSCO bidding
- NFA rice mess up
- SPRATLYS sell-out to China
- "Hello Garci" scandal, Lintang Bedol's magic, and Gloria's 'manufactured mandate'
- P1.3 billion missing irrigation funds
- Anomalous VENABLE contract c/o Sec. Bert Gonzales
- P5 billion Swine Scam c/o pigs in government
- Jose Pidal kickback accounts
- P2 billion National Food Fund loss in 2005
- Grossly overpriced lamp posts (from P16,000 to P300,000 each) in Gloria's Cebu c/o DPWH
- $1.3 billion crooked COMELEC Computerization deal
- $147 million DA/Agriculture and Fisheries Modernization Act (authored by Sen. Ed Angara)
(The DA has mis-used these funds)

And now, the LEGACY mess of Celso Delos Angeles. And the list goes on.

Shall we simply give them our Constitution on a silver platter for them to amend and contaminate with their filthy hands, and pave the way for Gloria Arroyo's perpetuation to power? Let us now examine their credibility and coming legacy, and then, let the sovereign Filipino nation decide.



(Image from http://indymedia.org/)

PHILIPPINE CROCODILE (CROCODYLUS MINDORENSIS CONGRESSMANUS)

I recently visited the Batasan Pambansa to meet a former staff member of mine who now works for one of the elected officials there. I was so surprised to see the latest imports bearing the #8 on them. The most beautiful and expensive vehicles can be found right at the Batasan. Well, what do you expect? They now have a Speaker who has evolved from a tweeter to a boom-box. He sure is living it up as well. They all are. I immediately thought that being a congressman was always equivalent to being filthy rich. Since there was no session that hour I was there, many of the congressmen were just casually dressed, but wore the latest Lacoste shirts with that little crocodile on them. Imagine that, a tiny crocodile on a big crocodile. Funny, but true. Methinks congressmen are from a diffrent species of crocs. They're both land and water creatures, which means they are amphibious. They can easily adapt to the environment and climate change, and will always be more accomodating during the campaign season. They are Pachyderms. Once elected, their body clocks automatically switch to "hibernate" mode, which means that you'll have to wait the whole summer season until you get a satisfactory attention from them. But we never learn. We elect their offsprings to the very same positions they once occupied. It's called "dynasty." I guess we're just simply too familiar and stuck with the system already, and that's why the 'Dynasty Bill' will never prosper in Congress. And the Cayman congressman will always put the 'nasty' in dynasty. Before leaving the Batasan, my friend whispered to me that this year just like last year, there won't be any 'Nativity Scene' again in Congress. I asked why and he said, "They probably won't be able to find again even just three wise men and a virgin right here. Only enough asses amongst themselves to fill the stable!"

(Image from http://iucncsg.org/)

A PRESIDENTIAL SACRIFICE WE WOULDN'T WANT TO HAPPEN

Indeed, we have a president with tons of guts. No morals, just tons of guts - and the nerve. Sometimes I wonder, who is giving who a bad name? Her husband from her point of view, or his wife from his point of view? But from our points of view, they both give a bad name to our country, and they have been doing so since grabbing the throne from President Estrada. Is it then a wonder why US President Barack Obama would rather do more important things like say, play basketball with the "brothers," instead of meeting with a corrupt power-grabber who tries her best to correct the wrong that has been done, at the expense of the Filipino people? Obama knows better, and his foreign policy is simple: avoid that presidential squatter. Look where we are today. We have crooks in government who keep getting away with their crimes. Thanks to a partisan Supreme Court and a lame and useless justice secretary who makes an ass of himself each time he opens his mouth, not to mention that he almost always defends the one that has too many defenses already, and then ridicules the helpless victims of injustice. I think it's high time Raul Gonzalez retire and just do Sudoku. But even that he cannot solve! Where now are the likes of Nani Perez, Virgilio Garcillano, Lintang Bedol, Ben Abalos, Carlos Garcia, Joc-Joc Bolante and more of these enemies of the Filipino people? They who have screwed our nation big-time, thanks to a willing administration and its allies in the military and police, the legislature, the judiciary and the executive branch. So now, they still roam our streets and walk among us like free men that they should not be.

I'd like to think that one day, Gloria will wake up from her moral slumber and do the ultimate presidential sacrifice for the Filipino nation. No, not to resign, that's too light a price to pay. After all, she is capable of doing even the unthinkable and the most vile. She will do anything, and I mean everything just to stay in power. This story might help explain what I mean ...

During a recent publicity stunt, Gloria sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute.

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Gloria stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question:

"WILL I BE ACQUITTED??"

(Image from http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1237/869126730_25578e6b63_m.jpg/)

FEED YOUR SHEEP, NOT YOURSELVES

Men in business who hear a "calling" to enter the ministry of evangelism may be a noble thing to answer. But, when you are a man of God - a pastor, having attended Bible school and seminary, and then venture into business to make that extra cash, then something is definitely wrong with your faith, or whatever is left of it, especially if you are identified as a prosperity teacher. What I find so unfair in this situation is that you simply take advantage of your congregation when it comes to selling your wares. From a church member's standpoint, it would be quite difficult to turn away your pastor when he knocks on your door or rings your phone and tells you he has some items you may be interested to buy. Why so? Because that same congregation is his natural market and they would find it quite difficult to turn him down. And that is why networking companies and their leaders target pastors today to sell their business, for the simple reason that they already have the prospective buyers in the palms of their hands.

When a pastor is called to serve God, and then answers that call, he must not take lightly the task that comes with it as to get involved with other things outside the ministry. This cheapens the nobility of doing God's work here on Earth. Sadly so today, we hear of legions of men of God being lured into the networking business to earn fast money. This is all too bothersome as to openly show their flock that their faith isn't strong enough as to rely on God's unlimited supply of blessings to those who would obey His command to spread the Gospel unto the far reaches of the Earth. Proven fact: if you take care of God's business, He will take care of your needs. Joining a business venture with other pastors is simply a collective manner of "untrusting" God and cheapening the vocation. That is why the best solution really is - if you're a pastor, stay as one. Period. Your hands should be too full to get involved with other "worldly" matters.

I don't like to kick a man when he is down, and I believe in loyalty to friends. But when a man repeatedly commits horrendous sins and presents himself as a man of God (with all that implies), then I no longer consider him as a friend when he proves that he was not what was represented. He was a friend yesterday, but an enemy today. He betrayed his Savior, his ordination vows, his wife and friends who greatly respected him. He betrayed his church - God's church. And doing a great amount of good never negates the evil. My personal belief is simple: "transfering" an erring pastor from one church to another is simply allowing him to continue his lechery and treachery, because he had already lost his right to be in the pulpit. And if there is any shame left in him, he should just stop being a pastor and just be himself and join his money-faced networkers. Friends of his who put money above God. Ex-pastors like him who own black-colored Bibles that have now turned gray due to the accumulate dust. But I have since forgiven him, and it is my sincere prayer that he shall soon see the light, and this time, not walk away from it again. Instead, run towards it and come clean before the very same God we both call upon and who answers us in good times and in bad.

(Image from http://netministry.com/)

ASIAN TIES IN ASEAN'S THAI

Legend has it that the wide world of the SouthEast Asian region was born out of a potent union of the Earth's Indian and Pacific Ocean plates. The region varies from the pastoral landscape of NorthWest Vietnam to the lush forests of Burma, to the lower Himalayas and the snow-covered peaks of Irian Jaya.

And then, from the Himalayas emerged the mountain chain of continental SouthEast Asia down the SouthWest Pacific and the beautiful islands that have appeared out to the South China Sea and on to Austronesia.

This great natural threshold between the Indian and Pacific Oceans contribute to the individuality of the SouthEast Asian peoples, brimming with grandiose diversity, birthing many cultures, different in several aspects, yet similar in many fundamental traits.

SouthEast Asia's geography and topography contribute greatly to the history and life of its colorful civilizations. Against this background, Thailand today plays host to another ASEAN SUMMIT (forum) of the ten countries belonging to the Association of SouthEast Asian Nations - The ASEAN.

These are the great nations of Brunei Darussalam, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, The Philippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam.

Some periods of our mutual past may have failed at mutual understanding, but our world today has no excuses. For even today, many of us are still ignorant of each other despite the instruments of communication and the speed of the information highway or 'infobahn,' Media may produce an awareness of other cultures, but it is an awareness at times replete with prejudice. What we really need now is a purity of soul.

Our heritage binds us together. Our dreams appear from a common horizon. Our lands remain sacred to our people and our region, despite intermittent alien intervention. We have given such names to our memories and we have drawn the image of our future with the common language we all speak: the language of cooperative unity.

We have transcended borders to form this new identity, and it is our intent to face both Asia and the West, the People's Republic of China in the mainland and the United States of America across the Pacific, as a union of collective strengths with all the energy our individual nations may offer.

May this forum be more than the sum of its members.

May our limitations be the source of our greatness. May the avenues of cooperation and understanding be unclogged and fluent. And may the protocols at the end of the day bring harmony and unity, progress and justice to each of us and to the world beyond our sandy white shores.

(Image from http://www.voanews.com/)

PAGUIA ON RIGHT OF REPLY BILL

Here is a brilliant legal comment from law professor Alan Paguia, who I now address as "Justice Paguia," a true legal luminary who loves the Rule of Law and follows it faithfully, unlike many lawyers who are simply infatuated with the law, cheat on it and fool around with it.

On Senator Aquilino Quilingquing Pimentel's Senate bill on the Right of Reply:

"If you criticize an individual on print, radio or television, the proposed law gives him the "right of reply." If the owner, editor or station manager fails or refuses to give equal space for reply when requested, that person incurs criminal liability, and a fine and/or an imprisonment of not more than 30 days." "What is wrong with this bill? As far as public officials are concerned, they are given the 'right,' instead of the 'duty to reply.' Thus, the bill weakens, instead of strengthens, public accountability."

Indeed, our senators should study this bill carefully, wouldn't you agree? What say you, "panyero" Leon Guerrero?

(Image from http://www.chanrobles.com/)

BATASAN PAMBANSA VOTES TO OUTSOURCE THE PRESIDENCY

Batasan Pambansa, Quezon City --

Congress today announced that the Office of the President will be outsourced to India soon. The move is being made in order to save the President's yearly salary, and also a record billions in pesos in deficit expenditures and related overhead that the premier office has incurred during the last 8 years. It is anticipated that several billions of pesos will be saved to the end of GMA's term (if she really does step down). "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Speaker Prospero 'Boy' Nograles. "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Nograles noted.

President Arroyo was informed by e-mail this morning of her termination. A member of the Malacanang Press Corps was present to explain the congressional decision to Press Secretary Cerge Remonde in simpler terms.

Sanjay Singh, a tele-technician for Indee-Ya Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the Office of the President shortly. Mr. Singh was born in Paco, Manila, while his Indian parents were vacationing in the Philippines, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of PhP 45,000 a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. He will instead be working at night, similar to a call-center job. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer factory," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always dreamed of being president of something someday."

A staff member of Speaker Nograles' office noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the Office of the President, this should not be a problem as President Arroyo has never had a clue either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the staff member. "President Arroyo has utilized them successfully for years, with the result that many Filipinos actually thought she knew what she was talking about. But then, even Vice-President Noli de Castro is still clueless to this day."

President Arroyo may have difficulty in securing a new position for lack of any moral credentials whatsoever.

Hobbit House Manila has expressed interest in hiring her as floor manager.

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

QUESO CITY: A RAT'S HAVEN

Prof. Alan Paguia, who lives in the QC 'Scout' area says, "Illegal gambling is spreading in Quezon City. Not content with being the "sex capital of the Philippines," Quezon City is now also a gambling haven, and it's all illegal. No Pagcor presence. Jueteng is flourishing. Bookie joints are everywhere in Cubao. Like the prostitution joints and gay bars, illegal gambling in QC must be getting some kind of protection from City Hall, otherwise, they could not have had it this good. Where is the Philippine National Police (PNP) in all these? Where is the Rule of Law in all these? What we see here is a government with the shadow of a criminal syndicate."

I couldn't agree more with Prof. Paguia's observation. I may not be a resident of Quezon City, but I certainly go there at least twice a week and I see all these places he is talking about. They're all over the Quezon Avenue strip. And on Paguia's query on the PNP's presence? Well, they're all over the place as well, giving protection to these prostitution syndicates. You see them every single night collecting "protection fees" from managers and operators of these bars and similar establishments. And who are really the frequent patrons of these girlie bars? People in high places, sporting low-numbered plates, and all types of lords. For a country that boasts of being the "only Christian nation in Asia" (this is a big lie!), we sure know how to show our neighbors the Christian way of living. Time to help SB and Bistek!

(Image from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/52/114620513_35a3d89060_m.jpg/)

THE MAKATI (MIND YOUR OWN) BUSINESS CLUB

The anniversary of EDSA 1 is just around the corner. I wonder if our revolutionary hero Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile will be attending this time since he is now more identified with the present administration. Oh well, such is politics. Again, I expect the anniversary rites to be attended by people who were never really part of that popular uprising 23 years ago. People like ... well, you know who they are. You'll see them again grandstanding in a few days. With memories of EDSA 1, one cannot really brush aside its 'political progeny,' EDSA 2. It was in essence a conspiracy between then Vice-President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo and her cohorts, Gen. Angelo Reyes and party, and of course the tainted Hilario Davide Jr., then Supreme Court Chief Justice. And of course too, how can one ever forget the politically motivated and biased Makati Business Club then with the likes of Jose 'JoeCon' Concepcion and his equally-biased Namfrel, and Filipino-Canadian Guillermo 'Bill' Luz. And some things never change. Take this classic case for example: Some months ago, the Makati Business Club showed extreme concern with the decision of the Supreme Court in the case of Romulo Neri versus the Senate Committee on Accountability of Public Officers and Investigations, et al. (G.R. No. 180643). Its decision has given a greater value to executive privilege than to the more important matter which is simply that of the public's right to know, which therefore such progressive standards of transparency must at all times be practiced. In addition, it gives the effect of restricting the ability of the legislature to act as a countervailing force against executive abuse.

While all due respect to the Supreme Court must be shown, as we must at all times respect the rule of law, we certainly hope that this is not the final word on the matter at hand. The Senate now under the leadership of Juan Ponce Enrile must challenge that decision as it is in their best interest, and that of the Filipino people. And since the vote was NOT a resounding mandate in favor of executive privilege, the citizenry trusts that the justices would thereby consider society's (not "civil society," please) need for a greater transparency, and thus give more "punch" in future deliberations in favor of the right to public information.

Henceforth, the Makati Business Club has its only self to blame for the violation of the rule of law in the level of the Supreme Court. The MBC never complained or threw tantrums when the Supreme Court installed Gloria Arroyo in substitution of Joseph Estrada. That was an unconstitutional act on the part of the Supreme Court because clearly, Erap was NEVER convicted in the impeachment case filed against him. Under our constitution, a duly-elected (and sitting) president may be removed only after conviction in an impeachment proceeding before the Senate. The MBC did not complain (and throw tantrums) then. It never liked Erap's "uncouth" style of running the government. And so, it went along with the Supreme Court in the UNCONSTITUTIONAL removal of Estrada. Obviously, Gloria has learned much from this trick, that's why she has filled the SC with her personal appointees who now invariably decide in her favor regardless or in spite of constitutional provisions to the contrary.

Executive privilege does not exist under our constitution. It is CONTRARY to public accountability. It constitutes official secrecy which is against public policy of transparency in government transactions. The MBC, after tolerating the SC violation of the rule of law in the unconstitutional removal of Estrada has only its self, along with the other "rah-rah boys" and spin-doctors of EDSA 2, to blame for the PRECEDENTED and CONTINUING violation of the rule of law in our exploited nation, thanks to its "squatters in government." The MBC, along with several others, for the sins they have committed against the 1987 Constitution, shall from thereon remain accountable to the Filipino people. Let our historians write about these characters on our next-generation history books for all to read and to know the conspiracy that was EDSA 2.

(Image from http://www.mbc.com.ph/)

EXPRESS THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE!

Tired of her rock-bottom approval ratings, President Gloria Arroyo called up DoJ Secretary Raul Gonzalez and said, "I want your very best NBI agent over here first thing in the morning!"

Moments later, a call went to Zamboanga, and the most gifted Filipino agent was headed for Malacanang Palace.

The next morning, the agent was escorted into the presidential office. President Arroyo said, "I hear you're the best in the business. I can't trust what my staff tells me. So, I want you to visit every region in the archipelago and every city too. I want you to stay out on the road until you have an idea of what the vast majority of Filipinos would like to see happen right here in Malacanang. Understand?"

The NBI agent responded in the affirmative. He left the palace and wasn't heard from for nearly four months. Finally, he showed up early one Saturday morning, and the president saw him immediately.

The president asked, "Did you find out what an overwhelming majority of Filipinos want done here in this office?"

"Yes madame president!"

"Well, then, express the will of the people!" the president ordered.

So the agent stood up, made a fist, and punched her in the nose.

(Image from http://www.fightingarts.com/)

ROADKILL REVELATION

Long after she had been ousted by a coup, Gloria Arroyo and her driver were cruising along MacArthur Highway one evening when a dog loomed in front of their car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The aged canine was struck and was killed instantly. Gloria told her driver to go up to the house on the roadside and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive whiskey in one hand, and an expensive cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened to you?" asked Gloria.

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me this cigar, and his wife gave me whiskey."

"My God, what have you told them?" asked Gloria. The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the house and said, "I'm Gloria Arroyo's driver and I've just killed the old dog!"

"The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

(Image from http://bbc.co.uk/)

SAKIT-SAKITAN

Are you a fugitive running from the law who needs a temporary place to hide while pretending to be sick? If you are, then St. Luke's Hospital is the ideal place to go. It's your "home away from jail." There, you could be in the company of other felons who suddenly suffer from various sicknesses and ailments otherwise known as "ill-gotten health," whenever confronted by the words "invitation" or "subpoena." You may also arrange for some doctors there to act as your spokespersons where they are well-trained to appear before the media and Senate/Congress officers. At your lawyer's insistence, they can also insist on your grave health condition especially when you are invited to appear the same day before a panel of interrogators a.k.a. grandstanders. 24/7 security, internet connection and unlimited supply of relaxing coffee to soothe your nerves. Call today for reservations, and get that much-needed escape from lawbreakers in disguise as lawmakers.


Paid for by the friends of Mike Arroyo, Joc-Joc Bolante and Jaime Paule.

(Image from http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com/)

FENCE-FIXING

Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence in Malacanang Palace, and were being interviewed by no less than FG Mike himself. Two were private contractors and the other was the MMDA. The first one takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about 2.1 million pesos: 1 million pesos for materials, 1 million pesos for my equipment and crew, and 100 thousand pesos profit for me."

The second contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and says, "I can do this job for 1.6 million pesos: 750 thousand pesos for materials, 750 thousand pesos for my equipment and crew, and 100 thousand pesos profit for me."

Then comes the third contractor, an engineer from the MMDA. He doesn't do any measuring at all, but instead makes a phone call to his boss. "Opo chairman, akong bahala!" Then, he approaches FG Mike and whispers, "3.6 million pesos."

FG Mike is incredulous and whispers back, "'Di ka nag-measure like the other two guys! How did you come up with such a higher figure, que horor!?"

The MMDA engineer whispers back, "1 million for you, and 1 million for me, and we hire the second guy to fix the fence!"

"DONE!"

(Image from http://www.pinoyweekly.org/)