BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Once upon a time and not so long ago, there was a conversation between three political leaders of the land, and it went like this:

ZALDY: "Boy, can I borrow a backhoe?"

BOY: "Sure, governor! I'll have one delivered to your house in Davao City."

RAUL: "Noted."


(Above photo, L-R: Secretary Raul Gonzalez, Speaker Prospero 'Boy' Nograles and ARMM Governor Datu Zaldy Ampatuan)

(Image from http://anythingwhatevs.wordpress.com/)

GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS MOONLIGHTING AS COLUMNISTS (AND VICE-VERSA)

Some people are agitated with certain government officials (you know who they are) who have newspaper columns or radio-TV talk shows, and members of media who have accepted juicy government sinecures (such as board directorships and consultancies on sequestered firms and GOCCs) without giving up their media jobs.

The popular demand is that there should be action to prevent such an anomalous situation because it is the public interest which suffers therefrom. Especially in the case of media where even top editors and columnists flaunt their open acceptance of dishonest money from the government, thus making a mockery of the independence and integrity of the press.

As to the case of government officials in media (pseudo-press), people say they don't read or listen to these officials anymore who should have the decency to quit their jobs in government and stick to media if that is where they find more satisfaction. Owners of publications and electronic outfits will have to crack down on erring personnel who compromise the integrity of the newspapers and broadcast firms they utilize as vehicles to propagate their vanity. Can you guess who they are?

(Image from http://www.newsandtech.com/)

YESTERDAY'S DARLINGS, TODAY'S TYRANTS

In his book "Notes On The New Society," the late President Ferdinand Marcos listed the following to justify his exercise of emergency powers and eventual imposition of martial law: rightist conspiracy, economic dislocation, graft and corruption, the Muslim secessionist movement, communist insurgency, rising criminality and increasing social justice.

Sounds familiar?

During the long years of the Marcos rule, many men and women gained majestic eminence by their sacrifices for freedom and liberty, and when Marcos was ousted by a popular uprising, these heroes were rewarded by a grateful people by electing them to high positions.

Now, as storm clouds begin to gather again threatening such freedoms and liberties, these stout-hearted former street parliamentarians and human rights champions, except for a handful, are ominously silent. Matter of fact, some of them are the ones insisting on repressive Draconian measures trampling on civil liberties and constitutional freedoms. Observe them now. Aren't they the ones in elected offices forcing to amend our Constitution? If you ask me, they don't deserve another day in office. They should just return to their caves and for once, do the country a favor and hibernate as long as they want.

Indeed, how money and power can corrupt even the noblest of heart! So many people recoiled in horror and shock as they read and heard these former intrepid heroes against the Marcos regime become the new oppressors and executioners. Especially horrified now are members of the fourth estate many of whom shared the same cells with these new tyrants from Malacanang, the House and the Senate - in Camp Crame and Bicutan during Marcos' iron rule.

These budding dictators have learned their lessons well, and no less than President Gloria Arroyo and Speaker Prospero Nograles emerge as honor students. These people know that for a totalitarian state to be set in place, there must first be a slaughter of the press.

Tick off the names in Malacanang, Congress and the Senate who would now act as executioners of the citizenry - and weep. These were the glorious leaders of the parliament of the streets and those who went into exile fighting Marcos to the bitter end. Gout-inflicted fat cats, filthy bottomless pits and all.

(Image from http://www.pcij.org/)

A PRESIDENTIAL SACRIFICE WE WOULDN'T WANT TO HAPPEN

Indeed, we have a president with tons of guts. No morals, just tons of guts - and the nerve. Sometimes I wonder, who is giving who a bad name? Her husband from her point of view, or his wife from his point of view? But from our points of view, they both give a bad name to our country, and they have been doing so since grabbing the throne from President Estrada. Is it then a wonder why US President Barack Obama would rather do more important things like say, play basketball with the "brothers," instead of meeting with a corrupt power-grabber who tries her best to correct the wrong that has been done, at the expense of the Filipino people? Obama knows better, and his foreign policy is simple: avoid that presidential squatter. Look where we are today. We have crooks in government who keep getting away with their crimes. Thanks to a partisan Supreme Court and a lame and useless justice secretary who makes an ass of himself each time he opens his mouth, not to mention that he almost always defends the one that has too many defenses already, and then ridicules the helpless victims of injustice. I think it's high time Raul Gonzalez retire and just do Sudoku. But even that he cannot solve! Where now are the likes of Nani Perez, Virgilio Garcillano, Lintang Bedol, Ben Abalos, Carlos Garcia, Joc-Joc Bolante and more of these enemies of the Filipino people? They who have screwed our nation big-time, thanks to a willing administration and its allies in the military and police, the legislature, the judiciary and the executive branch. So now, they still roam our streets and walk among us like free men that they should not be.

I'd like to think that one day, Gloria will wake up from her moral slumber and do the ultimate presidential sacrifice for the Filipino nation. No, not to resign, that's too light a price to pay. After all, she is capable of doing even the unthinkable and the most vile. She will do anything, and I mean everything just to stay in power. This story might help explain what I mean ...

During a recent publicity stunt, Gloria sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute.

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Gloria stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question:

"WILL I BE ACQUITTED??"

(Image from http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1237/869126730_25578e6b63_m.jpg/)

EXPRESS THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE!

Tired of her rock-bottom approval ratings, President Gloria Arroyo called up DoJ Secretary Raul Gonzalez and said, "I want your very best NBI agent over here first thing in the morning!"

Moments later, a call went to Zamboanga, and the most gifted Filipino agent was headed for Malacanang Palace.

The next morning, the agent was escorted into the presidential office. President Arroyo said, "I hear you're the best in the business. I can't trust what my staff tells me. So, I want you to visit every region in the archipelago and every city too. I want you to stay out on the road until you have an idea of what the vast majority of Filipinos would like to see happen right here in Malacanang. Understand?"

The NBI agent responded in the affirmative. He left the palace and wasn't heard from for nearly four months. Finally, he showed up early one Saturday morning, and the president saw him immediately.

The president asked, "Did you find out what an overwhelming majority of Filipinos want done here in this office?"

"Yes madame president!"

"Well, then, express the will of the people!" the president ordered.

So the agent stood up, made a fist, and punched her in the nose.

(Image from http://www.fightingarts.com/)

SI RAUL O SI GONZALEZ? - PART 3

DoJ Secretary Raul Gonzalez serves indeed at the pleasure of his god, President Gloria Arroyo, and both lack one thing in common: "Delicadeza."

This poem is for him:

The bigger the ego, the thicker the skin.
The grander the lie, the smoother the spin.
The more the disdain, the wider the grin.
There's only one goal, and that is to win.

The promises made, you never will keep.
The artful denial of prejudice deep.
The wondrous reforms that are not, but they're cheap.
The goal is the same, who cares if we weep?

When to serve all the people is to serve only one.
To serve justice is something you shun.
The cudgels of disgust have only begun.
Democracy's lost, self-interest has won.

(Image from http://www.gmanews.tv/)

IN GLO WE TRUST

A reminder to Malacanang apologists, spin-doctors and members of congress allied with President Gloria Arroyo:

"To announce that there must be no criticisms of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable." - Theodore Roosevelt

I hope DoJ Secretary Raul Gonzalez starts opening his mind to reality and truth, before he reaches second childhood and senility.

(Image from http://pcij.org/)

Thanks to Anna de Brux for the reminder as well. She blogs at http://manilabaywatch.blogspot.com/ Great site!

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN 2009

With gratitude to "Mr. President" Eddie Gil for the visual aid above.

At the rate our government shows proof that it is indeed like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other, it's good to know that we can keep up with their childish insanities, with Secretary Raul Gonzalez now just a sigh away from second childhood. By doing so, I list some of the crazy things we can possibly do in the coming new year.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses and a hat on and point a hair-dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

6. Don't use any punctuation marks when writing.
7. Inside an elevator, call the 'Psychic Hotline' from your cellphone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
8. When driving-thru Jollibee or McDonald's, specificy that your order is "to-go."
9. Enter a road-side public karaoke joint and sing-along with the singer and then leave him/her some change and run away.
10. When riding a public jeep, tell the farthest passenger from the tsuper (the one sitting at the end near the jeep's entrance), "paki suyo po bayad," and then give him/her your fare. Observe his/her reaction.
11. Put a mosquito net or kulambo around your work area. Play a CD of jungle sounds all day.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
13. When the cash comes out from your bank's ATM, scream "I Won!", I Won!", "Third time this week!"

14. When leaving the Manila Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Takbo! Takbo! NAKAWALA SILAA!!
15. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to let one of you go..."

16. When inside an elevator (again), face everybody instead and establish eye-to-eye contact with them one at a time.

17. When riding the MRT or the LRT, do this: just a few meters before the next stop, shout, "PARA!! ... PARA PO!!

18. Next time your spouse leaves for work, do something different this time: shake his/her hand instead.

19. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "THAT'S MINE!!!"

20. Still inside an elevator -- stare at a specific passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of them!" and back away slowly.

Any other suggestions?

Okay, here's #21, a gem from Jasper Greek Lao Golangco who blogs at http://golangco.blogspot.com/ ...

21. After withdrawing from an ATM, flip the sign on the door to say "off-line," then watch the frustrated people who come to the door.

HALIK NI HUDAS

Secretary Butch Pichay, Speaker Boy Nograles, President Gloria Arroyo and Secretary Raul Gonzalez were sitting in a train in one of their junket trips abroad. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark for the next 10 seconds. Suddenly, there is a loud kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.

Gloria and Pichay are seated across each other, both looking perplexed. Nograles, seated across Gonzalez is bent over holding his face, which is now red from an apparent big slap.

All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything. Pichay is thinking: These DOMs all have bad taste and are crazy after Arroyo. Nograles must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him!

Arroyo is thinking: Nograles must have moved to kiss me, but kissed Pichay instead and got slapped.

Nograles is thinking: Lintek! Pichay must have tried to kiss Arroyo, thought it was me, and so slapped me instead! Buang gyud!

Gonzalez is thinking: If this train goes through one more tunnel again, I could make another kissing sound and slap this Nograles again.

(Image from http://gmanews.tv/)

PINOY IDLE GOES TO METRO HELL

Bayani Fernando dies and goes straight to the nether world Sheol. There, he is immediately greeted warmly by Gloria Arroyo. "Papa Satan will be with you in a few minutes," she says. "Since you are new here, you should probably be warned that we all rise when he enters," she continues. "What?! I get up?! but ma'am, don't forget that I was chairman of Metro Philippines for a long time since I lost in the presidential elections twice!" screamed Bayani. "BF, don't you also forget that I was president of my stolen republic 'til 2020, because when God rejected Jess Dureza's prayer in 2008, Satan immediately seized the opportunity to answer it, and yet I have the manners to rise," explained Gloria. "Not I!" declared Bayani. The argument is becoming warm when Raul Gonzalez approaches. "Peace, madam president and mr. chairman," he says. "I will fix everything." Three solemn knocks announce the coming of Satan. "Attention!" thunders Gonzalez. "Here comes the photographer!" whereupon Bayani Fernando jumps to his feet, folds his arms, sticks out his chin and chest.
Peace and kaayusan reign in Metro Hell.

(Image from http://bambit.kusangpalo.com/)

UNJUST JUSTICES

At the shameful rate many of our judges and justices in the Supreme Court, including our present justice secretary have been playing partisan politics to protect their own interests and the interests of their benefactors, I am reminded of of what former Senator Kit Tatad wrote some years back. He said, "Injustice, not poverty, is the gravest social evil. We have too many laws but not enough justice. Too many justices, but not enough just men." - Francisco S. Tatad, 'A Nation on Fire: The unmaking of Joseph Ejercito Estrada and the remaking of justice in the Philippines.' Our Supreme Court justices have cheapened their positions by selling off decisions and cases, sometimes even to the highest bidders. In this country, justice is only for the rich and the powerful. Many criminals have now been given freedom from their heinous crimes, and many petty thieves so to speak are languishing in jail, sometimes for crimes they have never committed, and then to add insult to injury, we have a justice secretary who commits a crime too each time he opens his mouth.

(Image from http://www.philippinebusiness.com.ph/ & http://www.ilsdole.gov.ph/)

DEAD MAN WALKING?

Well, it will be Halloween once again tomorrow night. Time for children to put on their best costumes and go "trick or treat" in their respective communities. In another neighborhood across the Pasig, there was once a Halloween party a few years ago in Malacanang hosted by no less than President Arroyo herself. Carefully chosen guests were required to come in their best costumes. The cabinet was in attendance. GMA was of course wearing a dwarf's costume while FG Mike came as a Warthog. Donald Dee as a blood-sucking leech, Ronnie Puno came as Pinnochio, Ed Ermita as Methuselah, Butch Pichay as a 1-week old Pechay vegetable, Joey Salceda as the Guyabano man, Cerge Remonde as a dumb donkey, Jun Esperon as another dumb donkey (a bigger ass), Mikey and Luli as a cockroach and a flea respectively (with sincere apologies to cockroaches and fleas for the association). As the invitation required everyone to wear a costume and possibly win the first prize, everyone in attendance hoped to bag it except for one person - Raul Gonzalez. He came as himself wearing his usual everyday 'Americana' attire, and to the surprise of everyone, won the 'best in costume' award.

(Image from http://mukamo.com/)

SI RAUL O SI GONZALEZ? - PART II

I'm tired of Mr. Raul Gonzalez's dirty antics, and the time to teach him a lesson is now. Imagine, the arrogance when asked about the granting of freedom to Claudio 'Bobbins' Teehankee Jr., when he replied, "the granting of executive clemency is a judgment call on the part of the president, whether there is a basis or not makes no difference." While I tend to agree on the first sentence of his statement, I abhor the second. What would now stop the other inmates like former Mayor Antonio Sanchez from seeking the same? There must always be a basis however shallow that may seem. A Justice Secretary who proclaims that executive clemency is fine and dandy even without basis shouldn't be in the justice department at all. He should now be in some retirement home with a rusty orinola under his bed, teddy bear in tow, playing sudoku or solitaire. he should never have been Justice Secretary in the first place, for his appointment had nothing to do with his credentials. His appointment was a simple political gift for playing the role of attack-dog and Mr. Nasty for Gloria with the occasional game of "fetch" and "roll-over." So, while he's at it tail wagging and all, why not also play the game "play dead?" A Justice Secretary who adds salt to an open wound by addressing the eternal grief of the Hultmans calling them "hypocrites," and telling them to just "go jump in the lake" for simply reacting like any grief-stricken human being must be the first to jump in the lake - of fire. Hypocrites they certainly are not. They were simply reacting as a family who lost a dear teen-aged girl from the hands of a gunman. Any grieving mother or father would react similarly. But it sure takes a heartless, tactless and mindless man like Raul Gonzalez to keep on making insulting statements to the public, or to anyone who dares question the programs of his master's regime, and this is not the first time. He has done this to several people in the past. He obviously hasn't learned his lesson when he got really sick but recovered only to continue abusing his position and insulting people again with his side remarks. Time to repent Raul, or you won't be getting visitors soon in your sick-bed or retirement home, or shall I say - sanatorium?

(Image from http://www.gmanews.tv/)

SI RAUL O SI GONZALEZ?

Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez was recently sucking on the barrel of his gun when he accused CHR Chairman Leila de Lima of undue haste and unfairness to some cops in concluding the Tanauan, Batangas killings by Task Force RCBC elements was a rubout or simply a summary execution. Gonzalez likewise was suffering from an acute verbal diarrhea when he said that the bank robbers-murderers should be subject to a "shoot to kill" order. Undue haste? But four people are dead! The PNP record of summary executions and the practice of using 'fall guys' is not a secret. Chairman de Lima was doing what was just right. So, why should Sec. Gonzalez be disappointed about de Lima's swift action? It is be Gonzalez who is guilty as hell for undue haste in clearing Proclamation 1017, in permitting CPR and E.O. 464, in orchestrating the raid on the editorial offices of Tribune, in filing charges against several opposition leaders, including the late Rep. Crispin Beltran. Chairman de Lima simply has set a good example of prompt action by a government agency, in contrary to Gonzalez' canine partisanship.

(Image from http://www.gmanews.tv/)