LIFESTYLE CHECKS AND PINOY LIFESTYLES

Lifestyle checks conducted by a government agency must never be selective. It must apply to all government personnel, top to bottom. Our leaders most especially must always be conscious of the people's trust, and what better way to earn that constantly from them than by living a simple way of life. In a society of rampant materialism as gauge for success, one cannot help but be lured into that very web. And so, a top government official must be seen riding in the latest SUV, wearing the most expensive Italian haute-couture, wearing a Rolex or an IWC, and of course his spouse and offspring must follow suit, not to mention the in-laws that live with him and his immediate family under the same imported Italian roof. He must be seen eating at the best fine-dining restaurants and seldom only in fastfood joints like Burger Machine or Goto King. He definitely must be seen eating in expensive Japanese restaurants like Sugi, and never in cheap Jap restos like Tokyo-Tokyo. If he's in a Chinese restaurant, never should it be in Ling-Nam or Luk-Yuen, but only in authentic Chinese eating places like Tin-Hau, or the ones located only in five-star hotels. His children must be enrolled in schools like the Ateneo or De la Salle, Assumption or Woodrose, Brent or U A & P. His servants or maids must always be seen with them wearing maids' uniforms making them look like private nurses in white, with matching aprons to announce their domestication. His address must sound expensive like "# so and so Acacia Lane," or "one majestic mile," and must have authentic numerals like #2 or #1002, and never an address like 'Block 15, Lot 32,' or 'Kampupot Extension.' When driving along the SLEx, he must be with a driver and a 'driver's alalay,' and must always use the Skyway and enter and exit only via the e-pass lanes, otherwise, what would his neighbors think? He must always be seen in high-class supermarkets like Rustan's, but never in places like Hi-Top or Liana's, or his neighbors will surely have sudden fainting spells. His mobile cellphone number must be postpaid from Globe, particularly starting with the first four numbers '0917,' otherwise, he's not in the creme de la creme crowd. If his number starts with a pre-paid '0919,' he's immediately regarded as an outcast and on welfare. He must be seen in churches like the Santuario de San Antonio in Forbes Park, or the St. James Church in Alabang, and never should he be seen with the hoi-polloi crowd in gatherings like the El Shaddai overnight services, unless only invited to be on stage with no less than Bro. Mike Velarde himself. He must be seen in expensive spas and salons, and never in Ricky Reyes parlors, otherwise, he could be mistaken as a returning OFW or a Hosto with a taxi business of not more than two units. His laptop must be the latest Mac and never a Dell or a Neo. Wine is a must for him, but never the vinegar-like Novellino. It must be authentic Chilean or French, but never pseudo-Italian or Sioktong. His pets at home must be pure-bred dogs complete with papers, and not the ones issued by the BID, and exotic birds like the American Bald Eagle and rare fish like the Coelacanth. In addition, his birds at home should never be the spray-painted ones and his fish never a Tilapia, Sapsap or Butete in an aquarium. And never should these pets at home be the domestic lizards, termites, cockroaches and the occasional Singsing Pare. You see, it really is diffcult for a government official not to have all these luxuries in life. If he must, then a private life he must keep, for a public official is public property, and everything he owns must pass public scrutiny. For in the end, the more gold he carries with him, the harder the trip will be for him to his final destination.

(Image from http://pcij.org/)

"10-4 GOOD BUDDY, WHAT'S YOUR 20?"

I belong to the era of the CB radio, that typical American trucker's communications contraption originally meant for his 'rig.' Long before the advent of the mobile cellular phone, the CB radio was king. Pinoys marveled at the technology put into it and it was an overnight hit. Everywhere one went, cars with mounted antennas or "ears" were a common sight on the road. Of these, the most popular brand names were the K-40, Moonraker, Hokushin, Firestick and the ever dependable bullwhip. CB radios varied in brand name, size, capacity in channels and style. The more affordable ones then were the General Electric (GE) units with a basic capacity of 40 channels. Not to be outdone, homeowners equipped their abodes with CBs with matching antennas on their roofs. The more popular ones were the astro-plane type, the Moonraker and the directional "yagui" type. CB clubs and organizations were sprouting like mobile mushrooms then. This brought about the birth of the civic group, some spuriously created to gain access to law enforcement units and the capricious desire to be "deputized" by the police or the military, for obvious reasons. The CB airwaves were screaming with tireless conversations of almost anything under the hot sun, not to mention the frequent "eyeball" with your "good buddies." The 10-code was the linguae francae of the CB enthusiast. The CB was also the Pinoy's 'other tool' of communication because PLDT connections then were difficult to get. We used it both for business and for pleasure, and some for sinister purposes. Soon after the fad faded came the pager courtesy of Pocketbell, EasyCall, Beeper 150 etc. A gadget made originally for doctors was now being used by anyone on the street. But there was just one problem - one-way communication. A pager subscriber was only at the receiving end and still had to run to a telephone to reciprocate. And then, like a ray of sunshine - the mobile cellular telephone! The cellphone changed everyone's lifestyle in just a short time. It made our world smaller, it made our businesses more dynamic, and made cheating husbands more careful, and doubting wives more suspicious, especially if the husband brings his cellphone with him even in the toilet. It added much stress to our daily lives. These days, people would skip a meal just to 'buy load.' Mobile communication now is key to our progress. The days of the cellphone as a luxury item are a thing of the past. Even a lowly 'basurero' owns a Nokia and our 'kasambahay' probably owns a Samsung camera phone. Not to be outdone, our local gardeners who work in cemeteries and take care of our dearly-departed's 'puntod' or 'nitso' surely own a cellphone each. The only problem they encounter each day is that they're always in a "dead spot." As of this writing, Pinoys send a whopping average of 500 million text messages daily, which is probably the reason why we are technically the text capital of the world. Smart Communications has a subscriber base of roughly 19 million, while Globe Telecom has about 17.5 million subscribers. Translate that into their daily profit, and that's why their tri-media ads are the biggest in cost and in diversity, thanks to the Pinoys' number one pastime - texting. I am reminded of a friend who had this bad habit of texting while driving, so he finally kicked the bad habit of driving. Enough said.

(Image from http://radioproshop.com/)

FIFTY CENTAVOS PER TEXT MY FOOT!

President Gloria Arroyo dies, and as expected, goes straight to hell. There, she asks Satan if she could borrow his cellphone to send text messages to the 'first family,' anyway, thanks to her effort daw, fifty centavos na lang per text. Satan replies: "Ay anak, pag demon to demons and vice-versa, libre ang text!

(Image from http://www.chinadaily.com/)

GLOBE AIN'T SMART

(UNDERTOW - The Philippine Chronicle, May 12, 2007)


Giant telecommunications firms here in the country such as Globe and Smart have for some time now become favorite targets of the New People's Army (NPA). The numerous cell sites that cater to our number one pastime, perhaps second only to gossiping and politicking are often burned to the ground as part of the NPA's extortion of revolutionary taxes. Each time we encounter a headline like "NPA Attacks Cell Site" - most likely it is because the cellphone company has not paid its monthly dues to the insurgents. In addition to this, do you know that the NPA attacks more Globe cell sites than Smart cell sites by far, as evidenced by Google? Check it out yourself if you don't believe me and see that in an overwhelming majority of the cases over the years, Globe spends much more money in rebuildng its damaged cell sites compared to Smart. So, is it possible that Smart pays revolutionary taxes to the NPA to protect its sites? Or maybe Smart even gives free cellphones and load to the NPA, the better to coordinate their attacks on ... Globe?


After hopefully deciding which candidates to vote for, it will be that time once again for us to troop to our respective precincts and cast our votes on Monday. I must admit though that my senatorial list was quite a struggle to fill and remains almost half full - or half empty depending on how one views things. They are: Chavit Singson, Gringo Honasan, Martin Bautista, Chiz Escudero and Sonny Trillanes. That's it. Chavit because I know him well enough to make judgment that he is a good man and a true defender and advocate of the 'probinsiyanos.' I have worked with him closely in the past and his heart is not only GI or 'genuine ilocano,' but also genuinely for the common man, the oppressed and the marginalized. So, no matter what one thinks and says of Chavit, he still has my vote. Gringo, because I also know him personally as a true officer and gentleman, a man of honor and valor, and contrary to the other candidates who have chosen to be fence-sitters, Gringo on the other hand has chosen to jump fences! Martin, simply because I don't know him at all to make judgment, but I must say that I am quite impressed with his vision for our country. He seems like a real honest and well-meaning guy, packed with certain qualities one would find hard to see in most of our candidates. It's time for a new doctor in the Senate, don't you agree? Chiz, because he can talk to you with all sincerity and spunk, and with a fiery conviction for the truth without blinking an eye (that's because he doesn't make eye contact whenever he speaks), and except for the fact that he speaks in a telegram-like monotone, he too gets my vote as well. Sonny Trillanes because he definitely has guts and will do anything for the country. He has vision and 'cojones,' which many around don't have even just one. He has many fanatic followers and definitely will be Malacanang's headache. One other fellow I'm sorely missing in this senatorial race is my good friend law professor Alan Paguia. And just like Gov. Singson who I worked closely with during the 'Juetengate' scandal, I have on the other hand joined hands with Attorney Paguia during the 'Gloriagate' scandal. Alan was teaching law in the other law school - Ateneo that is, when his brilliant career (upholding and teaching the law) was cut short by an indefinite suspension slapped by the Supreme Court. It was easier for the high court to suspend him instead of just answering the questions he lodged at then SC Chief Justice Hilario Davide Jr. and the other justices regarding EDSA 2. Legions of Filipinos relate perfectly to Alan's questions, and the issue on his case with the SC remains a big question mark to this day. But that's another story to tell someday. As for the other candidates like Butch Pichay, well of course he's on my list too - my grocery list of vegetables I shall be buying in the market for my next week's 'kim-chi.'


A Google map showing the Pandacan Oil Depot (POD), Manila's incendiary hub which encompasses both banks of the Pasig river, serves as an eye-opener as one is shown numerous oil and gasoline storage tanks. Right to the west of the river shows the Malacanang palace grounds including the presidential quarters. On the northern side of the area, one sees the LRT-2 system, which on a daily basis transports thousands of passengers to and from their respective destinations. Boarding passengers are subjected to a security check by guards equipped with lethargic Labradors and state-of-the-art wooden chopsticks that poke the contents of their bags. And of course, all around this highly combustible situation are slums, ghettoes, business establisments and residences. An explosion of gargantuan proportion may well obliterate its immediate neighbors including, God forbid (really?) Malacanang to kingdom come. But don't blame me for reminding would-be terrorists of the idea. I'm sure they know about it already too well. This is public knowledge and has caused jitters to the populace living in the vicinity, perhaps even transforming some individuals into nervous insomniacs. Which reminds me, a few years ago, a Liquefied Petroleum Gas (LPG) station in Mexico exploded resulting in the deaths of about 600 people and injuring roughly 7,000. A similar incident in Pandacan would be a thousand times or so more disastrous, possibly causing much more deaths. Thus, I believe that the continued existence of the Pandacan Oil Depot (POD) is a mega-major disaster just waiting to happen. Quite recently, students from the Polytechnic University of the Philippines (PUP) suffered extreme nausea and were continuously retching after having been exposed to a leak from a tank in the depot located near their school. An investigation pointed to a high concentration of a Benzene compound rich in carcinogenic substance. The U.S. Toxicology Institute (USTI) noted that peoplel living in Pandacan are at a high risk of contracting various types of cancers. Further, the continued presence of the oil depot simply violates the 'Clean Air Act,' and the health of around 90,000 is at a high risk. In 2001, the Manila City Council passed an ordinance that would eventually drive out the depot, giving the big three oil companies Shell, Petron and Caltex only up to April 2003. Sadly so, their transfer was botched when a Memorandum of Agreement (MoA) between Mayor Lito Atienza and the oil firms was signed, allowing them to stay put to this day. Perhaps MAYNILA should now be the acronym for: 'Maraming AYaw Nang Isuporta si Lito Atienza,' for one gets the impression that he simply doesn't care about their health and their safety. And in the event of such a disaster, our authorities would act a little too late again while pointing fingers at each other. What must be done to prevent such a thing from happening? The answer is obvious. Manilenos have the power to do something about this on May 14. And on a national scale, we Filipinos in general for matters concerning the quality of our lives. Remember, an election is a decisive bet on the future and not a popularity test of the past.

(Image from http://www.pr.com)